Ami Angelwings' Super Cute Rants of DOOOM XD

Wow The Spearhead actually (accidentally) offers good advice to men to not rape! :D

2012-01-15T05:30:00.007-05:00

I know my policy is MRAs are generally too ridic & irrelevant to give attention to in this blog, but this is different because without meaning to they gave actually pretty good advice to men (because they are only talking to men about hetero encounters) on how not to rape. O:

This is from an article about how to keep yourself safe from false rape accusations by those evil lying women.

And what I find fascinating is that in coming up with a list to avoid "false rape" charges, the MRAs have accidentally created the "don't rape" list! :D

Ignoring the usual paranoia (and that they advocate illegally filming people)... their advice to get clear consent, to make sure she's sober, to not assume consent to activities just because she's into rough sex, is actually the same advice that feminists give to people not to rape...

BEFORE HAVING SEX WITH A WOMAN:

Is she SOBER? Very inebriated women may claim to want or even demand sex, but it may be wise to see if “that was the alcohol talking”.

Are you sober? Did you leave any of your drinks unattended, or consume any drinks that she bought for you that you didn’t see being made? (The origin of the term “Mickey Finn” comes from a bartender who enabled female thieves at his tavern to drug men’s drinks.)

Are you using Birth Control? Note that while she may claim to be using birth control, it does not automatically mean that she is…shemay normally be on birth control but has forgotten to take it, or is experiencing a false period, or is using a form of birth control with a lower rate of effectiveness. Most of these factors have not legally excused men for having to pay child support, although they should.

Has she verbally consented to sex? It is better to ask “Do you want to make love?” and receive a positive response then to merely assume she’s consenting to sex via body language. Some colleges insist that males must receive verbal consent prior to intercourse, and any sex without it is non-consensual.

Does she display or claim enthusiasm for BDSM (bondage and sadomasochism) activities? As exciting as it may seem, do not permit a barely-known woman to handcuff you to anything (that you can’t break loose from on your own)!

Does she claim to ‘like it rough’? Even if so, that claim does not obligate you to play rough. No matter how insistent she may be, you should not bruise or break the skin.

During foreplay, or before or during coitus, does she ‘tense up’, act frightened or apprehensive? Does she cry? If so, she may have been previously raped or molested. Her sex drive still exists, but she may psychologically equate sex with pain, servitude or dishonor.

Although I'm pretty sure The Spearhead doesn't think any of the above is really rape (or should be considered rape), and they see it as a safety precaution against "false rape" charges, the practical effect of their advice (assuming their readers abide by it) is the same as all the various "don't rape" campaigns.... so... yay! (I'll pretend the rest doesn't exist e_e) Plus, the advice to their members to be responsible for their own birth control too! And strangely, they actually understand rape triggers... I almost want to hug the guy...

If the woman in the situation has in fact not been harmed, try to get a photograph of her (many cellular phones are equipped with cameras ideal for this situation). You may wish to hold up the day’s newspaper within part of the photo to prove the date, unless the camera ‘time-stamps’ its images.

Of course then they say stuff like that and I don't know whether to laugh or laugh and then headdesk. xD (Now I'm imagining a tumblr "men holding newspapers in front of their dates")

But if the MRAs take the above advice (except for the filming ppl w/o their consent thing) I give thumbs up! :D

(It makes sense too, whether they consciously realize it or not, that not committing rape would cut down on rape accusations against you)

Somebody IS a threat to people using the bathroom, and it's apparently Rep. Richard Floyd

2012-01-15T00:09:00.002-05:00

The Tennessee congressman who is sponsoring the anti-trans "bathroom harassment bill" says he would "stomp a mudhole" in a trans woman who tried to use a female changeroom near him

FLOYD: I believe if I was standing at a dressing room and my wife or one of my daughters was in the dressing room and a man tried to go in there — I don’t care if he thinks he’s a woman and tries on clothes with them in there — I’d just try to stomp a mudhole in him and then stomp him dry.

Don’t ask me to adjust to their perverted way of thinking and put my family at risk. We cannot continue to let these people dominate how society acts and reacts. Now if somebody thinks he’s a woman and he’s a man and wants to try on women’s clothes, let him take them into the men’s bathroom or dressing room.

Um... who needs protecting from whom? I think we need a "bathroom protection from homicidal congressmen act" >_>

After all, so far I have not heard any trans women threatening to assault cis women in washrooms, however I have just heard a cis congressman threaten to physically assault trans women who are trying to try on clothes or go to the washroom. Sounds like there's evidence my bill is needed, and none for his. xD

Also... if it's okay to assault people we believe are a threat to our safety then, every trans person can assault HIM pre-emptively right?

There IS a side here who is a threat to the safety of others... and it ain't trans people. >:\

Tennessee Legislature wants to charge trans ppl $50 to go to Washroom World

2012-01-12T20:06:00.003-05:00

Tennessee Legislature introduces bill to fine people $50 for using the washroom that doesn't match up with their birth certificate

Sponsored by Sen. Bo Watson (R), the bill (SB 2282) would institute a $50 fine for anybody who does not use the public restroom or dressing room that matches the sex identification on his or her birth certificate:

And of course TN also DOESN'T allow gender changes on the birth certificate. So it's completely and utterly targeting trans ppl, not just ones who don't have GRS.

*sigh* WTF >:O

Of COURSE, I also wonder how this is going to be enforced. Besides, that I don't carry my birth certificate wherever I go, much less when I go to the washroom, is there going to be a guard in front of every washroom now? xD Will it be like the border? "Where are your papers"

And if we're being charged $50 to use the washrooms now... is there going to be a ticket booth? Will there be rides? Maybe we don't need a birth certificate but just a stamp on our hands?

Do senior citizens get a discount? Can you order tickets online? Do they take credit or debit? I don't carry $50 in cash around me at all times... movie theatres allow me to order online.

Can I use a student card for a cheaper fare? What about children? Parents regularly take children into washrooms with them even if they're the "wrong" gender... do children admit free? Or is the fine only $10 for them? Is there a family value pack? Can I get season tickets, so I don't have to pay up every time?

$50 is a lot to go to the washroom, for that I think we should at least demand that TN washrooms not just be the cleanest ever, but have up-to-date arcade games (no games that came out 3 years ago crap), rides and mascots! I want at least a couple good photos with Freshie the Urinal Cake.

I also want my mirrors to be HD with surround sound.

Otherwise, no, I'm not paying $50 to go to the washroom, and neither should anybody else. >:|

(srsly this is F-ed up... ppl are just gonna complain and call the cops at ANY "suspicious" person, and nobody carries their BCs with them -_- so do they take them in until they can check? this won't just affect trans ppl, this will just allow transphobes and assholes to harass ppl who are just trying to go to the washroom >:O )

Edit: My friend raises another unforeseen circumstance:

[20:08] Pazi: Note to self: go to Tennessee. Rack up 50 citations for this. Present birth certificate in court, walk away without paying a dime. Use pro bono legal service to countersue for wrongful prosecution. Profit?

Papa John's employee writes racist slur on receipt to Asian customer... to its credit, Papa John's responds swiftly

2012-01-09T02:27:00.000-05:00

Papa John's employee puts Asian customer's name as "Lady Chinky Eyes" on her receipt

When The Huffington Post reached the Papa John's in question for comment, the assistant manager -- who only gave her first name as Marjani -- said she was unaware of the incident.

"I apologize," she said in a phone interview. "I'm sure they didn't mean any harm but some people will take it offensive." She added that she "had an idea of who it was," based on the time of the receipt.

Marjani went on to say that this was the kind of behavior that would result in disciplinary action, but declined to go into further detail on what she planned to do.

Papa John's has yet to respond to the incident in a statement or its Facebook and Twitter accounts, but with such a PR disaster on their hands, they most likely will soon.

UPDATE: Papa John's has responded to the incident on Facebook. A post on its official page reads:
We were extremely concerned to learn of the receipt issue in New York. This act goes against our company values, and we've confirmed with the franchisee that this matter was addressed immediately and that the employee is being terminated. We are truly sorry for this customer's experience.

The company has also addressed the matter on its Twitter feed, tweeting to multiple people that "We have issued an apology, are reaching out to customer & franchise employee is being terminated."

I'm glad Papa John's acted swiftly and fired that employee and gave a good apology :) It's still disgusting that that happened at all though, I can't believe people this is okay to do. Also the assistant manager gave a really terrible response to the Huffington Post. -_- Really?

"I'm sure they didn't mean any harm but some people will take it offensive."

Uh huh. First off, again, intent doesn't matter but I question when ppl say that the person meant no harm... maybe consciously they didn't, because all they were thinking was that it was hilarious and only their amusement mattered, but the hilarity comes at the expense of others... so there's harm... the only reason people can honestly claim "I meant no harm" was cuz they were too busy thinking of themselves and how hilarious a racial insult was to them, that they weren't thinking about the effect on the other person, but the hilarity still comes at the expense of others. So maybe they meant no harm, but they meant a joke where the humour comes FROM harm. -_-

Secondly "but some people will take it (as) offensive." as if it's just the over-sensitive Asian woman who sees this as a problem. Really? Calling an Asian person's appearance "chinky eyes" isn't offensive? As I said, the joke is MEANT to be offensive, the humour comes at the expense of Asian ppl, and mocking our looks. -_-

The comments of course have a nice sampling of awfulness because you can't EVER have a story about racism/sexism/transphobia/ablism/etc online without ppl showing up to let us know we're overreacting and that the poor beset upon offender IS NOT A REAL RACIST/TRANSPHOBE/HOMOPHOBE/SEXIST/ETC but MERELY a jerk. e_e Sure... but they're a racist jerk. It's almost like ppl feel that if you're just a jerk but in your jerkiness you choose racism to insult somebody, it means you're not rly a racist but a jerk -_-

One comment says that it's in poor taste but not racism. What do you need for things to BE racism then? -_- Nething short of "I wanna wipe Asian ppl off the face of the earth" I guess doesn't qualify. xD This isn't even like something you can claim is an accident, like the person who threw the banana at the black hockey player claiming that he JUST HAPPENED to have a banana at hand and wanted to impede him. I find it unlikely and probably an excuse (and even if not they should have been aware of the implications of throwing a banana at a black person) but at least it's possible, even if not an excuse for the harm caused. But "Lady Chinky Eyes" to an Asian person in replacement of their real name on the receipt? xD Yeah... nobody does that by accident.

Study about boys sexual health makes Ami go rawr at society, mainstream entertainment, rape culture and the porn industry

2012-01-09T02:10:00.004-05:00

This is a good post by my friend, Ozy at No Seriously, What About Teh Menz about a study about boys sexual health which highlights the problems boys face in relation to sex education and societal and peer pressure around sex, which we know there's a lot of in our society and manifests differently for boys and girls. :\

It doesn't surprise me that a lot of health care providers focus on girls for condom education and asking for sexual history. There's still a big attitude of "boys will be boys" when it comes to male sexuality, and that it's the girls job to protect herself and I think also because girls can get pregnant, there's more of a focus on that (plus the culture of girls needing to be protected and boys as wild animals that we can't talk to or educate). -_- Hopefully this changes, sooner rather than later. It's not a zero sum game, we should educate both genders as thoroughly (and as early) as possible. >:\ (Traditional ideas of genders, sex and the whole "abstinence first education" crap are definitely not helping and I think definitely playing into a lot of the above issues) I also hope that we as a society push messages that will help boys be more receptive to education about condoms and protection. :) It would also be nice if we included more condom use in our media, as something normal that people do as part of sex, and make it pretty much the default thing. :] Like, it'd be nice to see Bond use a condom.

Also I wish porn would get with the program and have their actors use condoms. I have a friend who works in the porn industry and she expresses regularly frustrations at how, not just the actors don't want to, but that the film producers don't want them to and that there's also a culture among the film producers and directors of ENJOYING putting the woman at risk (she actually said that they have said things to that effect, that they like the idea) and that's just ugh. -_- Plus, not using protection risks STD outbreaks and scares among the porn community, as sometimes happens. :\ And, as I said, I think we really need to normalize the idea of protection and condom use in our pop media and that includes porn because porn is sadly a way a lot of our young ppl (of all genders) learn about sex and sometimes strive to emulate.

The coercion part I find really troubling. As Ozy said they don't say whether it's rape or not. I don't know if the definition they were using was really broad and wouldn't necessarily mean rape (the question may also be broad on purpose because I know a lot of survivors may not feel comfortable calling something rape, but be comfortable calling it coercion) but whether it qualifies specifically as such or not, it's definitely problematic and again a lot of our screwed up media pressures on youth play into this: that sex makes you cool, and that boys SHOULD want it (or they're losers), that boys are sex hungry animals who can't help themselves, that "if it's up it's consent" (I heard this repeated by a lot of my male friends in HS laughing about how men can't be raped, I got >:O as you might expect), and that boys can't be raped (therefore girls don't need to worry about consent, esp as I said, since boys are sex hungry animals (which is an idea that would help SO MANY ppl if we banished it to the phantom zone, it's so insulting to men and used to excuse so many awful things) ). -_-;;

And just RAWR >:\

Neways, hopefully studies like these will help wake up health care providers that they need to not treat it like girls are the gatekeepers of sex, or that boys know not what they do... and also hopefully media stops being so awful about their portrayals of teen sexuality and all the stupid pressures and myths and etc about sex, gender and sexuality -_- And also that the media (including PORN) needs to get its act in gear when it comes to not just "promoting" safe sex but making safe sex a default, normal thing that ppl do rather than just something in educational advertising. >_>

Update on the discrimination against Sudbury Trans Woman by the YWCA

2012-01-06T19:08:00.002-05:00

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/sudbury/story/2012/01/06/sby-ywca-human-rights-complaint.html

YWCA executive director Marlene Gorman said she can't comment on individual cases. But she said transgender women are not allowed in the shelter.

"Someone who identifies as a transgendered woman would be referred to another safe space,” she said.

Gorman said that policy is currently being reviewed "in terms of how we can best support transgendered women leaving violent situations.”

UGH. I am VERY disappointed in the YWCA now. Rly disappointed and angry. >:O They've always treated me very well, and I've never been told by them when I make use of any of their services or programs that they don't see trans women as women... the group therapy program I'm part of knows I'm trans, and in fact talks about trans women as women and the facilitators made it clear that we are. So... what the hell YWCA? >:O

So am I a woman sometimes only? I'm safe enough in some safe spaces but not others? -_-

I hope that their review of their policies involves consulting with the trans activist agencies and services offered in Ontario. For example, my job is to provide consultation for agencies who want to create trans positive and inclusive policies, but they'd need to want it, and I hope this incident and their "reviewing" (if they rly are) policies leads them to want to seek some help in changing their policies. :) I'd be really happy if they did.

I also have some other ppl to talk to now and see just how far this YWCA policy extends... is it just for that (and maybe some other) shelters or everything? >:|

RAWR >:O

I hope the HRC hears her complaint. I'm unsure if the Kimberly Nixon vs Vancouver Rape Relief case applies here (b/c that was about employment) but I hope it doesn't b/c the ruling by the judge who overturned the decision in her favour was disgusting (and the logic argued in that case that a reasonable trans woman would have known that she'd be excluded so should not have tried is ugh) but the ultimate decision was that VRR was too small to really hurt her dignity or the trans community, and as BS as that was, at least it shouldn't apply here b/c a) this is about her safety and not about "mere" employment and b) I doubt the YWCA would be considered "backwater" (the literal word used in the judgement) like VRR apparently was.

Ugh... I think she'll win, I just hope YWCA doesn't do the wrong thing and fight her every step of the way, and instead just backs off and re-evaluates their policies. There are services out there that will help them too if they want, make use of them (us... me... >_> )!!!

>:|

This is still so disgusting >:O

edit: The article only referred to her as "YWCA Executive Director" but I looked her up, she's only ED of that particular YWCA, so it's possible that it's just the policy of that shelter. I dunno how connected various shelters are under the YWCA umbrella (certain organizations are more arms length than others) but it would explain the disparity in what I've experienced myself, and it would also make it easier to change hopefully :)

Sudbury YWCA shelter question trans woman on her surgical status, refuses her entry

2012-01-05T14:35:00.002-05:00

I just got an email forward from one of my mailing lists about an incident of transphobic discrimination at a YWCA shelter that refused entry of a trans woman b/c she wouldn't disclose whether or not she's had surgery already, and they said if she didn't they can't admit her.

WTF >:O

No srsly WTF >:O

JESSICA LARABEE ANNOUNCES HUMAN RIGHTS COMPLAINT CHALLENGING SUDBURY YWCA DISCRIMINATION POLICY

On December 29, 2011, Jessica Larabee filed an application with the Human Rights Tribunal of Ontario alleging discrimination based on gender identity. Jessica Larabee identifies as a transgender woman. On July 8, 2011, Jessica Larabee contacted the YWCA shelter and was denied accommodations because of her gender identity. Sudbury YWCA asked Jessica inappropriate questions about her genitals. YWCA said "If you can’t provide me with the information, I'm not going to be able to offer you shelter, unfortunately". Sudbury YWCA informed Jessica that they could not accommodate her shelter request unless she had complete sex reassignment surgery. Jessica Larabee recorded the conversation. The conversation is on YouTube.

The goal of the human rights complaint is to educate the community and to have the YWCA receive training on trans issues. Transgender and transsexual people are the most discriminated group in society. Discrimination is a big problem and the YWCA need to be held accountable. The human rights complaint has been filed with the Human Rights Tribunal of Ontario in Toronto. It challenges that the YWCA discriminated against Jessica Larabee and constitutes a violation of her human rights.

Important links to information about the discrimination incident:

http://fixywcasudbury.blogspot.com/

This is NOT fucking okay >:O There are shelters and services all over that are making an effort to become MORE trans inclusive, and to eliminate any prejudice like this, whether systemic or individual (sometimes individual intake workers just ASSUME the policy of a shelter, which is why shelters need specific trans policies and training, which is part of my RL work) >:O

ARGH >:|

ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH >:O

I hope she wins in the tribunal and sends a msg to the YWCA (I'm v disappointed in them >:| Or at least that branch representing them. I have had only good experiences with them and being accepted even though they know I'm trans.) and all other shelters that this is NOT FUCKING OKAY. >:O

I haven't had time to listen to all the videos posted b/c I need to get going atm, so I may have more commentary later but this is anger mongering >:|

Response from Libra Tampons to the petition

2012-01-03T23:35:00.001-05:00

Just got this in my email. Presumably it went to everybody who signed the petition. :)

Libra regrets any offence taken to our recent tampon advertisement. It was never intended to upset or offend anyone.

Independent research was undertaken and the advertisement was viewed positively during that testing.

Libra takes all feedback very seriously, and in response to this, we will immediately review our future position with this campaign based on the feedback received. There are no further advertisements scheduled in New Zealand.

The advertisement has not aired in Australia. The advertisement was placed on Facebook however this has also been removed.

The usual "We didn't intend to offend anybody" which is... like a given -_- They never do... that's the issue and reasons for people protesting, to educate the company and society that this IS offensive, and it's not okay. Generally, I dun think most companies or advertising agencies MEAN to be offensive, they think this is okay. And it's pretty obv that they weren't thinking at all about how this ad would look to trans ppl, or were even thinking about trans ppl or cross dressers or etc... they were thinking just of their target audience, and that this would be a funny way to appeal to "real" women. So in fact, lack of intent, makes the protest, petition and noise all the more important, b/c I mean if they INTENDED to hurt trans ppl I doubt yelling at them would change their mind, but this is about education and letting them know to think beyond cis ppl in the future :)

And I'm glad the ads have been pulled and that they haven't been aired v much as it was. :3 Yay! :D

Edit: Reading their "apology" again, I realized they didn't apologize at all -_- They said they regret offending ppl and then made an excuse about how wonderful the ads tested before... e_e But for practical reasons, they DID pull the ads and they DID say that they'd consider their position on these sorts of campaigns in the future, and they were probably scampering to do damage control in the first place, so... it is an acceptable statement and a good outcome. :)

Libra Tampons decides who is a real woman and who isn't >:|

2012-01-02T00:40:00.003-05:00

This is an ad for Libra Tampons. I don't think I need to say how transphobic and cissexist and disgusting it is since once you watch it'll be obvious -_-

I'm just... ugh... it aggravates me to a pretty big degree >:| Ugh ugh ugh...

And trans women aren't the only ones dismissed by this ad, because trans men and FAAB genderqueer and agender people pretty much have their identities erased too... >:\ Plus there are plenty of cis women who can't have periods. Remember, if you can't have a period you're not a woman, and if you can, you must be >:| If you forget, Libra Tampons will remind you!

Ugh ugh ugh >:O

http://www.change.org/petitions/libra-pull-their-commercialcampaign-from-tv-and-issue-a-formal-apology

There is apparently an online petition. I dunno how much good it'll do, but please sign it anyways. :)

Apparently girls don't read books, we just model them

2011-12-27T21:41:00.005-05:00

This is so f-ed up and aggravating and yet oh so familiar

If ppl dun want to read the link, basically, a girl posts on r/atheism a picture of her holding up a Carl Sagan book to show what her mother got her for Christmas. Of course because she's in the picture, cue talk of raping her, how attractive she is, whether she's of "legal" age, and then when she finds this annoying (and off-topic), it becomes that she ASKED for it b/c obv she put herself in the picture and what an attn-whoring slut she must be. -_-

This inspires infinite anger in me, as you might guess if you've read this blog's archives (or been following back when my archives were not archives yet xD ) and the harassment I've gotten just for being a girl around the internets >_>

The thing is that it's not even being a FEMINIST on the internet. I don't spend my time on battle.net lecturing people on rape statistics, or talking about the "male gaze" or whatever it is feminists do to make us feminists... it's just ... being a woman. I made a satire about anti-vegetarianism that vegetarians took seriously. But they didn't go after my "arguments" as much as they threatened to rape me, called me "cunt" and "bitch" and etc... -_- I was kicked out of my Starcraft clan when somebody revealed I was a rape survivor, and ppl demanded pictures to see if I was pretty enough to rape, and others just jumped to the conclusion I must have made it up. >_<;;; So it isn't even in arguments about gender in gender issue spaces -_- And that's been the exp of a lot of other women online too. >_< But let's just focus on this particular case, and this particular narrative, which is WOMEN EXIST FOR HETERO MEN. It doesn't matter what you do, who you are, or what you look like, or are wearing. WE EXIST FOR HETERO MEN, we exist for hetero men to stare at, lust after, or detest, and we obv must KNOW this, accept this and we must DO it, because after all that's the narrative that's in society and the media. Just look at advertising... whether for men or women, it's about women being attractive, or women wanting to be attractive, women looking sexily at the camera, Special K commercials where women fret about NOT being attractive... look at entertainment, where female heroes are dressed up to be eye candy, pose as such and don't wear suitable armor. (before the "BUT IT HAPPENS TO MEN TOO" pops in...) Escher Girls is basically a tumblr devoted to this... even in comics, women are posed and shaped FOR men... they could be fighting a giant robot, and they're posed in an incredibly inconvenient way for hetero men to gaze at.

I've heard a lot of guys defend assuming women are dressing/existing in a space for them. That geek girls are geek girls only b/c they want to get guys, and they know that they're hot. That women cosplay to get male attn. Women wear athletic clothing in the summer to get male attn (I've gotten that accusation and FFS I'm HOT in the summer when I run), etc etc etc... the thing is... you can't NOT exist and fulfill some hetero male fetish in society. There's a fetish for everything, for girls in glasses, and librarians, and secretaries, punk girls, girls with short hair, girls with tattoos, trans girls, Asian girls, black girls, fat girls, skinny girls... and of course if a girl is IN a subject space, be it atheism, or engineering, or etc, we're in it b/c we know that women are rare in that space and we want attn, because we LET IT BE KNOWN WE'RE WOMEN! After all, why else would you let it be known? >_> Why would you let it be known you're Asian if you didn't want the Asianphiles to know you're a hot Asian chick in their space?

If you take a picture of yourself, you're "asking" for it. If you're wearing a collared shirt, you're trying to play up the "girl next door" look, glasses is trying to do the "geek girl looks", if your breasts are showing, well that's obvious... and FAR BE IT for you to take a picture where somebody might think you're pretty, or in a flattering camera angle (because we know guys NEVER pick the picture they want to put up, they just roll a d20 to decide) because YOU MUST BE DOING IT FOR THEM, CUZ YOU KNOW YOU ARE HOT.

And that's the other thing. One of the comments I HATE seeing in youtube videos, in blog posts where a woman has posted her photo, is that it matters what she looks like, whether it's she's super hot, or super not (to the hetero guy commenting). And they tend to run the same way... either they fawn over you and expect you to reply (in which case if you don't reply you're a stuck up bitch, if you do reply you're a tease unless you had planned to talk more), or they yell at you for being a conceited slut who isn't that pretty neways (sour grapes) or they'll tell you how ugly you are, how fat you are, how you must THINK you're hot, but you're SO FAT or SO ugly... cuz the idea that a woman DID NOT TAKE A PICTURE OF HERSELF OR MAKE A VIDEO BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO SHOW HERSELF OFF is anathema, it's unheard of, it's WTF, to these guys -_-

Every woman that "put herself out there" (i.e. leaves the house or exists online) must know she's hot stuff, or think she is, and that means... either the guy has to put her in her place, or he has to react as if she's actively propositioning him.

And it's a no win once a guy thinks you're in that place. I get this IRL a lot, and I've gotten this online too, where for COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT THINGS (for example, my space space project which is about making a list of shelters and services for trans*, genderqueer and cis male people) I'm told how beautiful I am, and then if I don't respond, or I respond IGNORING that, I'm a stuck up bitch, and if I DO, but I have no intention of continuing it (i.e. I'm being polite and I'm afraid of being seen as a stuck up bitch) I'm a tease. Either way, the ONLY way out is to date them/sleep with them/whatever they want. -_-

And what bugs me is EVERY TIME this happens there will be many many guys who defend it by "you can tell". You can tell she wanted it. You can tell she was trying to get attention. You can tell this that and the other thing. YOU CAN TELL, that the girl jogging wore that top because she knew she was hot stuff. You can tell the girl you consider "fat" was wearing that tight top because she thinks you think she's hot stuff. You can tell the girl who walked into a gaming store did so because she knows it's a guy space and she'll be a relative head cheerleader. You can tell.

Except, you know, IRL AND online, women are saying NO WE AREN'T DOING IT FOR YOU, NO THIS IS NOT THE CASE, I AM NOT DOING THIS FOR MALE ATTENTION. And of course rather than maybe reconsidering if you CAN "tell", it's "you're lying" "you're delusional" "women know not what they think."

You know, if I ran around punching guys in the face because they were shirtless and guys told me that no, they aren't consenting to a boxing match, no they aren't interested in boxing, and hey even if they MIGHT be interested one day, it isn't today, and it isn't with me, I MIGHT THINK MAYBE I CAN'T "TELL" WHAT I THOUGHT I COULD!

Instead it's our fault. -_- It's on us to mind read, it's on us to beware our powers, and it's on us to realize that EVERY SINGLE THING we do fits some individual guys fetish, and therefore he thinks we're doing it at them, and we better put our money where our mouth is. >_<>_>

So on that note, in the grand tradition of steering into the swerve here's a picture of me holding one of my favourite books in solidarity :)

Edit: My friend Smurasaki has posted a picture of zir holding a book to show solidarity :3

I encourage all people (of any gender) to do the same because I think regardless of ideology, we all agree that people should not be harassed or put down because they happened to include themselves in a picture with a book :3

(I have apparently started a thing)

The ultimate bad bet: gambling your faith on a football game

2011-12-19T04:51:00.007-05:00

This is an amazing piece by Dirk Hayhurst (former Toronto Blue Jay, career minor-league baseball player, best selling author of The Bullpen Gospels which every baseball fan should read :3 ) It reminds me yet again why he's one of the few professional athletes I like as a person and respect. :] Also he's funny and snarky and his humour is like me and my friends'! :D He invented the Garfoose which is like this giraffe/moose thing that guards the tree of baseballs (if I remember it right xD )

Anyways that is his piece on Tim Tebow and the problem with evangelical Christians in America idolizing him because of his success (actually it's his team's success >_> I notice that after the Broncos lost today, everybody was blaming the team and saying the Broncos lost, but when the team wins, it's "Tebow wins" -_- ) It is rly awesome and says so many of the things that have been getting me annoyed about the pedestalization of Tim Tebow and ppl trying to use him as proof of God or etc... -_-

If you’re a Christian, you might look upon what Tim Tebow is up to and praise God for it. And go ahead if you want to—a fellow believer is out there in the public eye telling the world that God is responsible for all of his success. How on earth, you ask, is this a bad thing?

But that’s just it. Tim’s message is so inherently linked to celebrity success and the platform that it brings, that they are not hearing an objective message about faith. They are hearing that God is the way to get to the same celebrity threshold if they make similar religious choice. It’s really no different than a faith and prosperity preacher saying that the path to riches is through his or her teachings, except that a religious preacher’s message made him popular. A sport’s star’s messages is almost always related to his on field production.

Sadly, these facts are not what most evangelicals hear. In fact, I’m willing to bet that right now, as they are reading this, they’re already thinking of scriptures to rebuke me with. I concede that Tim using his platform to spread the word of God is good, but for far to many, that word is only relevant because Tim is an icon.

Think about it. Think about walking down the street of your local town, and there on a street corner is a guy telling you things like, “God told me ______.” You’d think he was nuts. You’d tell him get help. You’d say to your buddy at church on Sunday, “why do people think that ambushing folks with the word of God is way to evangelize. Don’t they realize that stuff just makes people think we’re all crazy?”

Oh, but you protest and say, “The wisdom of God seems foolish to those who do not know Him.” No, what is foolish is, if you put that same street corner wacko in a sports uniform, under bright lights, muscles, and career high stats—tada— he’s a prophet. He’s an icon, a regular religious super hero.

Exactly. Why does him being a superstar athlete mean that his words now mean more? It shouldn't matter any more or less what he looks like, or how successful he is at his occupation, or what occupation that is. -_-

I don’t want this to be a true statement for Christians because it means a lot more negative things than positive. For starters, it means that those Christians who are not super stars are some how less impactful for the kingdom of God. It means that though we say we are not of this world, we obviously care about the same things the world does enough to dictate our faith based values.

Then, there is the fickleness of fame and fans. Tim is winning now. What happens when he does not? Did God leave him? Is God fickle? Is he only as relevant as a sports hero’s production? Lord I hope not. I haven’t done much in my career in the last couple of years and I’d certainly like to think that Jesus still loves me just as much as he ever did. Is Tim one arm injury from evangelical impotence?

Again, bang on. Like, he just lost today. Does God like Tom Brady more? Did Tim do something wicked between Week 14 and Week 15? Where was the fourth quarter miracle comeback? The biggest problem isn't even that they've put all this on the shoulders of Tim Tebow's performance, cuz the success of the Broncos have never really been about his performance (which has ranged from sub-par to mediocre) but on the rest of the team's (now known as the Denver Tebows), the biggest problem is that they've put it all on whether his team wins or loses. Period. Irrelevant of his performance.

All of Tebow's supporters have been arguing for weeks with Tebow skeptics like Bomani Jones that it doesn't matter whether or not Tebow plays well, only that "he" wins, and that you blackbox the process basically. It doesn't matter how the sausage is made, just that you get a sausage at the end. So then you can't claim "well Tebow played well" in today's loss to the Patriots because whether or not God favours Tebow never apparently had nething to do with how WELL he played, but on whether the Broncos wound up winning. They lost. And like Dirk says, that's the danger. Does that mean God abandoned Tebow? Does that mean Denver is about to be struck down by fire from the sky? Is the Broncos gatorade going to turn into blood? (That'd be hilarious)

That's the reason that Tebow has frustrated a lot of people (both non-Christians and Christians who don't buy into the Tebow thing). It's not "haters will hate" like his supporters have claimed. It's not that atheists hate Tim's message and want him to lose. It's not really about Tim. It's about what Tim has become to evangelical Christians. He's their Golden Calf (I thought God warned against idols) and "his" wins are presented as proof. It doesn't just annoy non-Christians, it annoys football fans! It annoys me as a fan of sports that actual ANALYSIS of the games are being thrown out because HEY THE TEAM WON THEREFORE THE QUARTERBACK IS A LUCKY PENNY! -_- It's going BACKWARDS. Forget religion vs science. This is religion vs sports analysis. How does one position, where the guy doesn't even play defense, get ALL the credit? -_- (and now that he's lost, his team is getting the blame...)

I don't think people wanted him to lose because they hate Christians, I think people wanted probability to finally catch up with the problematic way he plays and to snap people out of the delusion that this is "God's will" or magic tricks from above -_- It's kinda like how a cold summer doesn't mean global warming doesn't exist. It's just something that happened that people read meaning into. A hot winter doesn't prove that global warming DOES exist either, but if you PUT your belief into the fact that a cold summer disproves global warming, then you open yourself up that a hot winter disproves your theory.

It's the same way with Tebow. If you hinge your belief on his wins, your belief is disproven when he loses. It's a bad way to operate (also if you LIKE Tim Tebow and/or the Broncos, you should stop doing this too, because people will dislike him simply because of what you've claimed his team' wins represent).

Some might say that God is using Tim. I would say absolutely, but not more so than he uses any of us. Tim simply has a large platform to work on. A ridiculously, over hyped, over valued, over relevant platform that, at anytime could pop like the 2008 housing bubble and leave people so disenchanted with the faith they’ll rue the day Tebow ever claimed Jesus as his own.

Finally, ask yourself: what if Tim was Muslim? Then what kind of reaction would you have to all of this my dear evangelical friend? Would he suddenly be a vessel of the devil? Would this terrify the country? Would his success give credence to the radical agenda? Would Focus On The Family start an, in *love of course, slandering add campaign?

God does not favor the popular. He does not give preferential treatment to the celebrity. If he did, he would not be the God is today. He humbles the proud, he lifts up the meek, and he loves us all, sinner, saint, and sports hero the same—yesterday, today, and forever. That is why he is an awesome God, not because Tim Tebow throws touchdowns for Him.

There are people with a heart for the Lord, just like Tim’s, around us every day. And there are people who are quiet and meek and content with thankless service as well.

Yes. Exactly. If you are a Christian, this is how you should see not just this case, but life in general. Famous Christians are not "better" Christians or more important Christians or more "representative" of God than any OTHER Christian! Nor do what they do = God's will. (Except Christ, but he's a special case XD ) And as stated above, it's dangerous to start playing that game.

One more thing. I wonder if the super bowl ad where the Tebow narrative was created, the one where his mother talked about how doctors had tried to convince her to have an abortion and she didn't and Tim was the result, has anything to do with a lot of ppl's need to make him into a player of destiny. Even after the loss today, there were people on the radio talking about what players you need, or what defense you need, or etc ways to protect Tim Tebow and allow him to continue playing even if he can't play well. WHY? WHY not find a better mediocre quarterback to take his place? If the Broncos release him will there be a clamor for SOME team to sign him? Does he have some sort of human right to play professional football? -_-

It's the stuff I heard on the radio today, people TRYING to make this work, that makes me wonder... b/c he's the chosen child, "saved" from abortion, is his career in the NFL not just a vehicle that people are pinning their proof of God hopes on but also this idea that he's a "chosen one" and therefore it's his destiny, one way or another, to be a great QB? :\

I have no opinion on Tim Tebow as a person. I don't know him. I disagree with the stances of his I know of (anti-abortion), but whether he wins or loses doesn't bug me. I don't WANT him to fail because of his faith. But it's the WAY that he's being used, the way the narrative is being twisted to obscure the truth (what happened in the game, how he played, how many missed passes he threw) in order to further an agenda. As Dirk pointed out, even if you're a huge evangelical Christian you should hate how this is being done because if Tebow flames out... where's your messiah now?

People rightfully think that it'd be foolish to put your entire life savings on the outcome of a football game. Why would you gamble your faith on one?

Ami rates the Toronto Star's editorial and publishing decisions :3

2011-12-18T09:46:00.000-05:00

The Toronto Star is having their yearly "You Be The Editor" thingie where they ask you your opinion on controversial editorial decisions they've made throughout the year (photo choices, word choices, etc). I find these things interesting, and I felt like making my personal choices public this year and explaining why I think what I think for each :3

Also, a couple of them I'm a little confused as to why they might be problematic, so if nebody knows a good reason why let me know :3 I have speculation in some cases, but it isn't obvious to me. :]

Let's start! (some of them have pictures attached, so go to the link if you want to see those :] )

1. A Living columnist expressing her thoughts about winter fashion challenges writes that we shuffle through February "like overmedicated mental patients." Do you publish this?

No. Or at least I get the columnist to edit it out. It's ablist and plays into all sorts of negative and historical stereotypes of the mentally ill.

2. Author Myrna Dey's debut novel is the reader's choice nominee for the Scotiabank Giller Prize. The first sentence of the story refers to Dey, 69, as a "Saskatchewan grandmother." Do you publish this headline: "Granny's debut novel makes Giller Prize longlist"?

Yes. I'm confused why you wouldn't? I guess the complaint would be that her status as a grandmother, or her age is being played up and you wouldn't focus on skin colour or sexuality for a winner? But I've never thought it as unusual or offensive to say "Mother of four does XYZ".

3. A news story reports that police have laid 57 charges against two Toronto residents in connection with break-ins in the Beach. Do you publish this headline: "Beach bandits face break-and-enter charges."

Is the problem here the nickname or that it's presuming guilt by calling them "beach bandits"? I dunno the journalistic etiquette or rules for this. I don't see a problem w/ the nickname. o:

4. Toronto Mayor Rob Ford attends a media event to mark the start of construction of the Eglinton-Crosstown line. A Star photographer takes several photos. Do you publish this shot of the mayor eating a Jamaican patty from a lunch truck?

Yes. I know that Ford and his supporters believe that the Star is involved in a conspiracy to destroy him, and he's refused to talk to the Toronto Star period now... but I don't see anything really problematic about the picture. His supporters claims it makes him look bad. It would be problematic if we felt the media could only publish pictures that a politician felt were flattering.

5. The Toronto Maple Leafs organization releases little information to the public after goalie James Reimer is sidelined by a head injury. A reporter phones the family home and his mother talks about her son's condition. Do you run the story?

This one I have very strong opinions on because there was such an outcry from the Leaf fans that supported the MLSE line and were all "when the Leafs want to tell you information, they will!" and "the poor woman! She's not media trained!". FFS, Mrs. Reimer is an adult, she can make her own decisions and she knew what she was doing when she talked to the press. And she wasn't even pushed into it, she WANTED to because she had serious concerns about her son's concussion, his concussion history and how the Leafs were handling it. This is news. She's not a child, and she shouldn't need her son, or her son's employer's permission to talk.

6. Near the end of regular season play, a reporter is assigned to interview Leafs fans about the team's futile hopes of making the playoffs. One angry fan tells the reporter: "I hope their plane crashes tonight. Does that sum it up?" Do you publish this?

No, because a KHL team just died tragically in a horrific plane crash. Unless the point of the article is "Leaf fans are callous and ignorant." (I can't wait for the other Canadian team fans to show up now and say "YEAH YOU ARE!" xD ), all that serves is to show a quote in bad taste that might rub salt on some still very raw wounds. There are plenty of other over-the-top angry Leaf fan comments that you can show without stepping on fresh graves.

7. A reporter interviews homeowners opposed to a controversial proposal to create a natural burial cemetery in which corpses are allowed to decompose without the use of chemicals. One angry resident tells the reporter: "What happens if someone has AIDS and that gets in the water?" Do you publish this?

Yes, because it shows the views of the people in opposition, and an example of the reasons why they are. Unless that comment was so out of line with the rest, I would publish it.

8. An article about family-friendly dinners published on the Star's parenting website, parentcentral.ca, includes links to recipes on other blogs. A salmon cakes recipe published on a mothering blog begins with the author's comment, "I can't f***ing wait" with the profanity spelled out in full. Do you link to this blog entry?

I'd put a profanity warning next to the link.

9. Following his first appearance in court, authorities release this handout photo of the man accused of the attempted assassination of U.S. congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords. Do you publish this mug shot on Page 1, above the fold?

Yes. The mug shot and identity of an attempted assassin is front page material. There's nothing graphic or gruesome about it, except I suppose how some people might choose to interpret his expression (I suspect that's the "controversial" part of this e_e).

10. The shootings in Tucson, Arizona touched off a politicized debate about blame. Many pointed the finger at Sarah Palin for an ad that showed Gifford's Democratic constituency framed in the crosshairs of a rifle. Do you publish this editorial cartoon?

As long as that's an editorial stance you support, yes. I don't find anything wrong with this cartoon.

11. The Star is investigating allegations of high school "credit mills" where fees are paid for credits given for little work. Do you assign a reporter to go undercover and pose as a student at summer school?

Yes. Again... I dun rly see the issue here. o_O It's a story of interest, and it's part of investigative reporting isn't it?

12. When a law student who formerly worked in the sex trade dies suddenly, a reporter learns that the woman once corrected a law professor for referring to "prostitutes" instead of "sex workers." In the story and headline about her life and death do you refer to her as an "ex-prostitute?"

Absolutely no. You should always use "sex worker" in the first place. In this case, it's esp egregious because the deceased SPECIFICALLY had expressed an opposition to the term "prostitute".

13. In the last moments before a York Regional police constable dies on duty he calls his dispatcher for help over the police radio while pinned beneath a minivan. Do you publish the transcript of this last call for help?

Unless he made a personal confession or revealed an embarrassing private moment or something, I don't see why you wouldn't if it's relevant to the story.

14. Two kittens are found in a dumpster with their right eyes poked out. Do you publish this photo of the kittens following surgery to sew their right eyelids shut?

Yes. First off, that picture is so adorable. Secondly, it's not gross or anything. Thirdly, it actually makes me happy, not sad, because I know they survived and will be okay :)

15. During the federal election campaign a Star columnist writing on the Opinion page states that Stephen Harper's targeting of perceived enemies "verges on the Stalinist." Do you publish this?

Yes. It's an opinion piece, and the word "Stalinist" is generally acceptable use in political commentary to describe problematic ways a government is acting isn't it? Or is that equivalent to comparing people to Hitler? If it is, then I change my opinion. :]

16. The Star reports that a man is charged with the sexual assault of a preteen girl. Months later, when charges are dropped, the man requests that the story reporting the charges be removed from the Star's website so that it disappears from search engines. Do you take down the story?

No. First off, it's a matter of public record. Secondly, you can't pretend history didn't exist and you didn't publish it. Thirdly, it's a bad precedent for newspapers to remove stories from their archive. HOWEVER, you should put a little edit in the archived story with the date of the edit and a link to the story where the charges were dropped (or a note saying that the charges were dropped).

Okay :D So that's about it! This is actually better than usual for the Star. Most years, I disagree with ALL their decisions, and they have ALL sorts of racist, ablist, transphobic, homophobic, etc issues that they defend up down back forth and sideways and I go RAWR! This year, a lot of them seemed very tame to me, and a couple I don't understand why they might be an issue. (again, this could be because I'm unfamiliar with how certain terms are regarded in popular meaning, or because it's a journalistic rule that I'm not aware of... so if one or the other is true, let me know :3 )

(Yet another) good article about male privilege in geekdom :3

2011-12-18T01:52:00.001-05:00

http://kotaku.com/5868595/nerds-and-male-privilege

I remember once I was involved in a thing in a MUD where I had been the subject of insults because somebody found out I'm bi. Me and other friends (all women and known to be women) complained but people kept making excuses. I then switched to a male alt (where people knew him as being male IRL too) and made the EXACT SAME ARGUMENT, laid it out just the same, and everybody nodded and I actually changed policy, b/c after that the community made a "no gay bashing" rule and people told me how logical male me was compared to how emotional female me was.

I've had plenty of exps (as ppl who read this blog knows) of harassment in game (like being kicked out of my Starcraft clan because ppl found out I was a rape survivor and victim-blamed me and accused me of lying, and etc), and I've also had the differences of how I'm treated pre-transition (perceived as male) and now, in comic stores, game stores and in geekdom in general (people assume any guy I'm with is the expert in comics, when usually I'm the one showing HIM around). -_- And yus, that article gets it pretty bang on. And I've been complaining about the "you know I want to play a strong female character, or associate with one without feeling like I need to look like a porn star for a while in this blog. -_-

None of this is new, but it is necessary to keep republishing the message sadly, not necessarily to hammer it through the people who don't want to listen, but because there's always new people who haven't heard this before and will be swayed and realize the WTFness :)

The Shafia Trial, why the Islamaphobia around it pisses me off, and why the fears of "honor killings" are SO off base

2011-12-17T02:06:00.001-05:00

The Shafia trial going on up here right now is rly making me angry and conflicted for all sorts of reasons.

For obvious reasons I'm angry that this family thought it could kill four people, including three daughters, and get away with it. I'm double angry that they can lie so obviously in court when all the evidence (including wiretaps) prove them wrong, and obviously, I don't want them to "get away with it" >_< Except, they won't, the evidence is too heavily against them and their own words on wiretaps have hung themselves.And yus, I'm angry at the slut-shaming, at the "daughters must obey me", at the "slutty, sinful women" crap. >:O

I think it's pretty obvious what I'm going to say next. NO THIS IS NOT UNIQUE TO ISLAM. Srsly... first, dealing with religion, Islam isn't the only religion where people have hidden behind to justify misogyny, murder, or other abuses of family members they consider "their property", it's just the one that newspapers like to trumpet (in this case, the Shafia family aren't even using it as a defense in court, the media is essentially constructing it as if they are using it as a defense).

Secondly, putting aside religion, "my child/spouse/etc made me look bad, disrespected me, made a mockery of my authority, took away my honour/pride/reputation/etc etc" thing IS NOT UNIQUE TO ISLAM, or middle eastern people. It's pretty much the self-justification of ALL abusers. I can frame almost all of the abusve relationships I've been around, in or my friends/family have been in around that, because abusers are self-centred, and entitled, and make it all about them. And whether it's religion, or reputation, or personal morals, or anything else, abusers will ALWAYS find something to hide behind.

Thirdly, slut shaming isn't unique to Islamic ppl either. Christians do plenty. People who aren't hiding behind religion do plenty TOO. -_- This blog is filled with me yelling at slut-shaming, misogyny and all abuse/rape apology all over our society, the one we're so scared Islam is going to take over -_-;; It's also filled with examples of me raging about how parents believe children are their property, or parents abusing their children and justifying it b/c their child belongs to them and is a reflection of them. Again, not freaking unique to Islam.

And LIKE EVERY OTHER ETHNIC/RELIGIOUS GROUP IN CANADA, THERE ARE LOTS OF MUSLIMS WHO DO NOT SLUT SHAME OR CONSIDER THEIR CHILDREN PROPERTY TOO.

And if you wanna get into "BUT LOOK WHAT THE QURAN SAYS" about women, then you'd also have to get into what other things say, not just other holy books, but stuff like... Maxim magazine, or other things that people can say "hey that's adding to the objectifcation of women" "hey that implies date rape!" etc... and that's not to say btw that this stuff ISN'T problematic and shouldn't be discussed... it's that.... again... not unique to Islam... misogyny should be opposed everywhere... and there's plenty of misogyny in our own society too (and in the bible and Christian communities).

But all of that really doesn't apply because most importantly about this case that angers me is... okay Islamaphobes, xenophobes and other phobes... PAY FREAKING ATTENTION:

THEY ARE NOT CLAIMING JUSTIFICATION

That's why to me the whole fear and debate of "honour killings" is completely irrelevant to this trial, because the family is not claiming that they DID it, they're denying (and lying) that they committed murder and still claiming that the daughter drove the car with the other people into the water.

They're not saying "we killed them but Islam allows it". Therefore, there's nothing to fear FFS. There isn't going to be new law made no matter what happens. If they're found "not guilty", it doesn't allow for anybody to kill in the name of Islam, and if they're found "guilty" it doesn't STOP anybody from doing it either, because murder is already a crime, and if people feel justified and that they can get away with it, they'll still do it.

Also the "but it's their ATTITUDE that made them think it's okay". They didn't think it's okay. If they felt it was okay, they wouldn't have planned it, made it look like an accident, had their stories prepared, had a fake alibi planned, etc etc etc... they CLEARLY KNEW IT WAS ILLEGAL and they did it neways >_> "It's illegal but I feel justified" isn't exactly unique to just these accused.

The point I want to make is... FFS, this trial is not about Islam... they aren't even "hiding" behind it because they haven't made it a justification, and they are denying the murders. And it really makes me angry that people are acting like this case PROVES that Islam is evil (while other cases don't prove that Christianity is evil, or our society is evil, or hates women, or etc) and that everybody is obsessing over "honour killings" and fearing that this trial might justify it and etc etc and just UGH

UGH UGH UGH

I feel so disgusted that 4 peoples lives were just wiped off of the Earth, and the more details I hear the angrier I get at their entitlement, and their disregard for their OWN DAUGHTERS and the slut-shaming and everything else (and how they're coercing their kids to lie for them) and how they can sit on the stand and bald-faced lie like that, BUT... I hate that this thing is being twisted as a reason to force apologies out of the Toronto Muslim community, where they have to keep writing over and over again "no srsly we don't hate women" and how so many commenters in newspaper articles and such are all using it as a reason to perpetuate hatred, xenophobia and stereotypes. >:|

F EVERYTHING

srsly >:|

Ami calls out those pussy-teasing baristas and their slutty antlers

2011-12-16T00:46:00.001-05:00

Http://local.yahoo.com/info-11592150-dragon-s-den-poughkeepsie

(there's more, cuz she responds, and he accuses her of lying and says that HE KNOWS WHAT LONG SULTRY GAZES LOOK LIKE xD )

Neways, I honestly shouldn't mock him because I understand, b/c something similar happened to me when I was out at Starbucks today.

Today at Starbucks, the barista (who was a pretty decent looking guy to start with) was wearing these super cute reindeer antler things xD Like green and red festive with bells. And I told him how cute they were and he was rly nice to me and stuff. But he's nice to OTHER customers too! *GASP* TEASE! THOSE ANTLERS ARE JUST TO ATTRACT GIRLS WHO LIKE CUTE THINGS! I'm gonna go and ask him out tomorrow and if he says no, I'll have PROVED what a teasing antler slut he is!

Isn't that AWFUL!? WHAT A F-ING ANTLER TEASE! HE WAS NICE TO OTHER CUSTOMERS! AS IF THOSE ANTLERS WEREN'T JUST FOR ME!

And you know what's worse than that?

I told the above to my fellow beta female, Trish and she pointed out something even MORE heinous and deceptive that he did! He pretended to be a deer, and he's obviously not one, but he LED ME ON TO BELIEVE HE WAS! I should follow him home and shoot him like the deer he pretended to be. He asked for it. Don't wear deer antlers if you don't want to be treated like a deer.

F-ing entitled antler-wearing men, they want all the rights to wear antlers and no responsibilities.

Guest Post: Open Challenge to Samantha Berg: Put your money where your hate-spewing bigoted mouth is

2011-12-15T08:54:00.005-05:00

The following is a guest post (the first of many I hope :3 ) by the great and glorious Zhinxy. This isn't exactly the debut we had planned but she was angry, and well... this is the place for rants! :D That guest post at Feminist Law Professors that she's ranting about is a total sex-worker hating piece of crap btw >:| It's thinly disguised hatred pretending to be caring about the harassment female bloggers get online. It's absolutely disgusting and I 100% support Zhinxy's anger in this matter. By Berg's logic by the way, shouldn't she already be giving scads of money to sex workers? She just spent an entire post attacking and degrading them.

Also, as one of my other friends, Holly Pervocracy said: If you perpetuate the idea that sex work means "if you do one thing for money, you'll do ANYTHING for money," then you're part of the reason sex workers get assaulted.

Zhinxy's paypal button below is real by the way, and she created it just for this. And she's being honest about it. Comment calling her a name and donate to a good cause. :)

It's late. It's the morning. I'm on one hour of solid sleep. I had to get my kid off to school, and my cat was scared by a dog, and all the rest of it. But I couldn't help but see this absolute piece of utter, vile swill by professional Sex Worker Hater Samantha Berg...

http://www.feministlawprofessors.com/2011/12/internet-swear-jar-guest-post-samantha-berg/

TRIGGER WARNING. TRIGGER WARNING FOR ANTI-SEX WORKER HATE AND I AM NOT KIDDING (and NO trigger warning on the post itself! Hmmm!)

And dear god, is there a lot to say about it.

I gotta sleep. I got a lot to say about this, and please let them know at the formerly-respected-by-me Feminist Law Professors blog that this was not acceptable.

But I can't sleep until I say this!

OKAY SAMANTHA! OKAY! I TAKE YOU UP ON YOUR OFFER

SEE THE PAYPAL BUTTON BELOW?

You (any of you, not just Samantha) can call me ANY MISOGYNISTIC, DEGRADING, OR HUMOROUS NAME YOU WANT! Just pay at least 10 cents to the swear jar. That's it. Go for it.

No, really.

go for it. Call me ANY NAME YOU WANT.

for 10 CENTS IN THE PAYPAL BUTTON JAR.

Call it a swear jar, if you want.

Do it. Go for it. Knock your bad self out.

it's only 10 CENTS. See, if Samantha's correct, that's what sex work is all about. Being insulted for money... or... something.
And we allies, or "funfems" or whatever the fuck she wants to call us, would never ever do it.

Well, the reason we aren't doing it is because it's a stupid suggestion that has nothing to do with sex work or.. Anything, as far as I can tell. Or that was the reason. Cause I'm doing it now. INSULT ME FOR MONEY!w!!!!

I'm serious. Ten Cent Insult Special.

I will donate any funds recieved to Sex Worker's Rights Organizations, and that's my promise. (to be determined in conference with sex workers after I sleep!) So bring on the hate, insult away, click the button. If you want to donate more, perhaps for the right to a particularly vile insult, please do.

CLICK! CALL ME A WORTHLESS CUNTBURGER ICKYFACE!

Okay Samantha, how's that?

Nobody has the right to tell an abuse survivor what they should have done, or hold them responsible for the actions of their abuser

2011-12-14T00:20:00.001-05:00

F U Pat Hickey

In an article that appeared in the Gazette and other newspapers Tuesday, Pat Hickey called out Fleury for saying Canada’s justice system didn’t do enough to keep James behind bars. Fleury cited James’ pardon after being convicted of sexual assault in 1997 against three players, including another former National Hockey League player, Sheldon Kennedy. James was sentenced to 3 1/2 years in prison and given a pardon in 2007.

But Hickey wrote in his column that Fleury only went public with his allegations against James more than a decade later in his autobiography, Playing With Fire.

Hickey said it was “hypocritical that Fleury can blast the justice system for giving James two months of freedom when he provided his former coach with years.”

A website for Fleury posted a statement — under the headline “This is why no one comes forward” — that called on the public to “demand” from the Gazette that “Pat Hickey be fired immediately.”

“We find it very distressing to hear anyone, much less a columnist for a major newspaper, take the side of a known convicted rapist by calling Theo Fleury an enabler,” said the statement.

Hickey used the term “enabler” when recounting how Fleury was a business partner of James — Fleury was a co-owner of the junior hockey team the Calgary Hitmen while James was coach — when Kennedy’s allegations became public.

“Here was someone who had suffered abuse at the hands of Graham James,” Hickey wrote. “Here was someone who knew that James had abused other players. Here was someone who was exposing other children to the same sexual predator.

“Fleury has been through enough counselling to know there’s a word for someone who acts in this fashion — enabler.”

Fleury is right. This type of finger-pointing, holding victims responsible for their abuser is one of the things that keeps abuse victims (or rape victims) from wanting to come forward, especially if time has passed, because then people question why you didn't, call you a coward, etc, etc... If you continue associating with your abuser or rapist (which HAPPENS, especially if the survivor is in denial, or was a child when it happened, and/or the abuser is a friend, family member, community icon, etc etc) then that's held against you too.

This is absolutely bullshit.

I can give a billion reasons to explain or speculate about why Theoren Fleury didn't come forward earlier, but I don't think it's respectful to speculate on the thought process of an abuse survivor. I think most people reading this already know the many many many reasons why survivors don't come forward (if you don't, there's plenty of sites you can google that will tell you why) or continue to associate with their abuser, especially if they were abused/raped as a child.

It's absolutely disgusting that Hickey would hold Fleury responsible for the crimes of his rapist. I absolutely HATE this type of victim blaming because it's SO unfair, and I see it used a lot by people who have no interest in actually helping victims as much as they want to dismiss the "victimhood" of a survivor. This comes up a lot with rape apologists too, when they say that if a rape survivor is afraid of going to the police (or afraid of coming forward because of victim blaming, or not being believed, or being accused of lying, or being ostracized from the community, etc) then he, she or zie are responsible for future victims of the rapist. No, the RAPIST is responsible for that. It is not for nebody else to judge what the mindset of a rape/abuse survivor SHOULD be, or what they SHOULD have done, or how they SHOULD react, because everybody deals with trauma differently, and everybody has their own fears and concerns and it's not on us to say "just suck it up" to somebody who is the ONLY PERSON IN THE WORLD who has to deal w/ the trauma and understands how hard it is.

This is why I HATE narrative of "courage" about these things in the mainstream consciousness. While I DO think telling your story, or coming forward is incredibly difficult, and can take incredible strength, or courage, the problem is our societal narratives LOVE having either/or black or white scenarios... which means that if somebody who comes forward is STRONG, then somebody who doesn't is WEAK. -_- And obviously, that what they're both dealing with must be EXACTLY the same, and therefore we can make objective, quantitative value judgements, because that's the kind of simple, cut and dried equation we like dealing with in our lives.

Except rape, abuse, and PTSD is NOT simple, or cut and dried, and how a survivor reacts to that, or lives with it, or how long it takes for them to heal, or how scared they are, whether they come forward, etc is NOT for anybody to judge and it is NOT right for ANYBODY to be finger pointing and placing blame for what the RAPIST/ABUSER did on the survivor.

Period. End of story.

Pat Hickey should be ashamed of himself, and he should either apologize or his employers should fire him. This type of victim blaming is absolutely unacceptable.

The perfect woman is a corpse

2011-12-11T09:56:00.001-05:00

So that's why I suddenly got new followers recently :3

In both the comments on my original post and in her own forum post here, Ami Angelwings brought up another heartbreaking conclusion that can be drawn from the interest of girls in images that suggest their own deaths:

A dead girl's corpse is perfect. It's not going to get old, or get fat, or eat too much, or sleep with too many people, or the wrong people, or cheat, or be gossipy, or sinful, or talk back, or the million other things society demonizes about women and our passions, desires and appetites. We're just beautiful and nothing more, just like a woman should be. To be the perfect woman, you have to be dead.

She shares her experience as someone who has recovered from anorexia, but who used to struggle not only to reach a certain beauty ideal, but who rarely forgot that, once reached, that sense of perfection would only have to be maintained. Certainly that exact experience isn’t universal to all girls, but do you think it’s something that teenage girls in particular might be able to relate to?

Yay! I was quoted :3

I'll add the bit I added on in the forum too that she alludes to :3

To elaborate on what I said at the beginning, even tho I haven't been suicidal since transition, sometimes, during an esp bad ED day or week (this was esp true 2 years ago when I was running 4 hours every day and eating almost nothing), I'd think that it'd just be easier to leave a pretty corpse, because otherwise, it'll never end... my body will always require food, my body will always gain weight if I eat too much, or indulge in too much tasty food, or stop exercising, my metabolism will slow down as I age, the whole reality of an ALIVE BODY will never go away... and that means my exercising and restricting and denying myself any happiness when it comes to food will never end... it'll go on forever... (keep in mind this is my ED thoughts... I'm just articulating the mindset)... there's no end goal... there's no "finish line" where I can say "I did it! I kept up my exercise compulsion and not eating all this time and now it's over!"... a premature death would at least mean that I reached some sort of finish line having kept this up the whole time... that there'd be a point to it....

And that's btw, not me saying this is necessarily the reason, or the ONLY reason that there's a fascination in some mediums with dead girl's bodies, or why some girls are fascinated by planning their own death, or that depression and mental illness isn't a real thing or a big deal or nething like that.

As I said above (and as the author in the original post stated about her and her friends fantasies as teens), this is not necessarily the same as actual suicidal thoughts, or suicide, but about just "wishing" or fantasizing about one's death and controlling that death. If we're talking about what's so appealing about dying young and leaving a pretty corpse, I think for some women, the idea of an end "finish line" to diets, freaking out about aging, worrying about being fat, exercising, etc etc, is there... :\

On Intent

2011-12-02T02:52:00.008-05:00

Today I got criticized on my Tumblr for saying "both genders" which implies there's only two. I try to catch that every time, but this time it slipped past. The criticism presumed that I didn't know, educated me about genderqueer people, and told me about the marginalization of genderqueer, gender variant, etc people. My first reaction was "WTF I'm trans, I KNOW THIS", along with various degrees of "isn't this person overreacting? It's just a small slip up!" "I've blogged a lot about this" and "I have plenty of genderqueer friends, and I work with agencies to be more trans inclusive, do they not realize I know this s- and it was just a mistake!?"

And then I realized... no... no they don't. They have no idea who I am, who my friends are, or what I do for work. All they know is I said "both genders" and they educated me in case I didn't know so I would know WHY I should fix it. It's not an accusation, and if they HADN'T done it and I was genuinely ignorant, I would go "but there ARE only two genders, so wtfm8?" It still hurt though, so I had to take a deep breath, rant to some friends, calm down... and then fixed it. And thanked the person for letting me know I made an error. It's hard, and I GET that in the moment, esp if anti-oppression is important to you, it feels personal. But it's not. The other person doesn't know you, they don't know that it's a mistake or what your intent is, all they know is you did something that they felt was problematic, and they wanted to let you know and that maybe you should fix it.

Now, maybe I DON'T think I did anything wrong and I don't WANT to fix it. That's fine too, but I'd do it with the understanding that I can't control how it will be read. Maybe they'll think bad things of me, and maybe they won't. Just as they can't read my mind, I can't (and shouldn't presume to) read theirs. I have no idea WHAT they thought of me (or IF they thought of me) when they wrote their complaint, and I shouldn't assume it's necessarily bad, or worry whether it is or not, because intent (on my part, AND theirs) doesn't matter. I made a mistake that I, in a better mindset, would have gone "oh I f-ed up, I'll fix that", and that's what matters, and what has to be fixed :)

Why we don't need "lost causes" to assuage our consciences

2011-11-27T00:24:00.003-05:00

This is a rant that's always kinda been in me but has solidified b/c two things happened today which got me thinking about this more. And what "this" is is the tendency to put down or dismiss people who are suffering from trauma, depression, abuse or any other bad situation that they're stuck in a deep black hole, as being "hopeless" or "lost causes" or to imply negative things about them.

Before I continue further, I want to say that I absolutely understand that a lot of the time it's up to THEM to get better, to recognize that something has to change, and etc... I mean, I say that a lot about myself and my eating disorder, most of the time I just want SUPPORT, nobody can make me eat, or make me stop exercising, but that doesn't mean that support doesn't help. I also understand that there are other REAL PEOPLE who are the ones giving that support, and it can take a lot out of them, I know and understand the frustration of feeling like you can't rescue the person, and that it can take a toll on people and it's an individual and personal choice to continue helping or not.

I absolutely get this. HOWEVER, what I DON'T like and what this rant is about, is when people feel that they have to put down the person that they feel they can't help anymore in ORDER to justify them stepping away, ending a friendship, or not feeling guilty (which they shouldn't).

Today, I got a response from a friend to me seeking help for a friend in an abusive situation. Not to get into details, but I was looking for a person who could give my friend a place to stay in case my friend has to leave their abusive relationship (which they won't acknowledge is abusive) because I know from experience, that having an option can really change that outlook sometimes, but of course it's up to the person ultimately to recognize they have to leave. It doesn't mean I can't help, I'm merely trying to set the groundwork and give them support (esp since their partner has cut out the rest of their friends), but yes, I know only THEY can make the decision. However, the response was basically telling me that I can't do anything, and that it'll hurt me too much to watch the cycle go on because they ultimately made that decision with their friend, and that my friend is just going to keep cycling.

That bugs me because nowhere did I say I'm reaching wits end, I never said anything about the specifics of my friend's circumstances, or that I felt they would never leave (in fact I said they recognized intellectually what's happening but feels there are no options for escape)... but what I did do, I think, was make my friend worry that SHE didn't do enough for HER friend, and therefore she had to justify it by dismissing my friend and my efforts.

The second case is a friend telling another friend who had just ended a toxic relationship which was hurting them a lot, that people like the ex-partner are just a black hole of need, and so they shouldn't feel that they did anything wrong or should have done certain things differently. I agree with the second part, that they shouldn't feel guilty at ALL about their relationship, and that they shouldn't blame themselves for not saving their ex-partner. But that doesn't have to come with the first part (especially since my friend still cares a lot about their ex-partner). Their ex-partner had PTSD from childhood trauma and suffered from depression and had attempted suicide. It doesn't mean my friend is a bad person for leaving the relationship, especially because they were being used as a crutch. It doesn't mean that the other person is a lost cause, a black hole of need. I've been there too, and I understand what it feels like to need support and need a crutch. It may be a lot, but it's not infinite, and it can get better. It doesn't mean that people have to give up their mental and emotional well-being to help though, but it doesn't mean NOBODY can help. Saying "you couldn't have done anything" doesn't have to come with "nobody could have" in order for it to be "it's not your fault". I hope that made sense.

Look, my personality is that I just can't step away, and also I can handle a lot even if it's upsetting me. But that's me. It's probably also why I'm going back to school for social work and currently working in social services. But I don't make judgements about what other people need for THEMSELVES, nor am I saying or implying that I think I'm BETTER than other people because I still care. We're ALL HUMAN BEINGS, and we ALL HAVE OUR OWN LIVES and breaking points. And ultimately, I am not going to tell another person what they should have done, that they should have done more or that they didn't do enough.

But I suspect, THEY worry that, because they don't see it the way I just laid it out, what they see is that they have to either be a good person or a bad person. And the only way stepping away from a friend in distress makes them NOT a bad person, is if that friend is a "lost cause" or a never-ending "black hole". And I get that people might feel that's the best way to help their friends get over their guilt too, or because they care about THEIR friends over some people they've never met before that they see are causing their friends distress. I get that too. NOBODY IS IN THE WRONG HERE. And I get all the good intentions happening.

I'm merely saying that I think a lot of people worry that they're not good people if they have to do what's best for themselves, and if it's POSSIBLE to have helped their friend, then it means that they're bad people for not having stayed longer, for not having sacrificed more. And in THAT framework, the other person has to be the bad person, or the weak person, or the hopeless person, because otherwise, we should have tried harder, or the implication is we don't care enough.

That's BS. Ultimately nobody can judge what's right for another person, and what another person needs for their own mental and emotional well being. It doesn't make you a bad person if after the third suicide attempt, you blocked your friend from facebook because you couldn't take it anymore. And if somebody else stuck around and that friend got better, it doesn't mean you failed.

I think it plays into narratives of "good vs evil" or black and white situations, and of the idea that people either need to get over it, or they're to blame for not fixing their own situation, which is problematic, because support DOES help, and being in a dark terrible place alone can be terrifying. The problem with playing into the above narratives, is that it sets up the idea that "only they can save themselves" = "therefore whether they have support or not makes no difference". And I get how that last narrative is... everywhere in our culture, and also it makes it easier for us to assuage our guilty consciences. But I still think it's a problematic narrative, and that the message in our society can be that we have nothing to feel guilty of if we are operating in good faith, and need to take care of ourselves, without necessarily setting up a dark mirror where the other person is the problem.

When I help my friends who are dealing with these kinds of situations, I always try to focus on that this is what they need for their emotional and mental well-being and there's absolutely nothing wrong about that, or anything they should feel guilty about at ALL. I personally find it more useful than using a narrative where their feelings of guilt hinges on how they feel or think of the person they care about but can't help.

Sometimes, life just happens. And we're ALL just trying to live our own lives, and be the best people we can be, trying to balance our lives and our needs with the lives and needs of people we care about. There's no good and evil when it comes to that.

Edit: This btw is not saying I believe a "nobody is right or wrong" view of the world. I'm speaking THESE SPECIFIC situations where you want to help a friend but it is too much for you. I'm not saying that I believe abusers are equal to the abused, or that it's bad, for example, to support your friend's anger at their abuser or rapist.

And this is why I now read comics about robots

2011-11-19T02:02:00.000-05:00

So apparently Harley Quinn has gotten the Starfire/Catwoman new DCU treatment too

Wonderful e_e (Tho I think the clown car joke is supposed to be how big Deadshot is... or how big he is through his underwear... or maybe he's wearing that xD )

And yay! The whole "the skill women bring to the table is that they have vaginas!" trope/fantasy/whatever e_e

Maybe that's why guys don't give ME free things xD

*SIGHS*

SO NOT INSPIRED TO GO BACK TO DC

I don't care if there are some good books, or it's "not all bad"... first off, even the not bad stuff isn't amazing awesome (in MY opinion, from what I've seen) and secondly, my money is valuable to me (esp right now) and I'm def not spending it on a company that makes me want to rage every month or so b/c there's a new epic fail. e_e

RAWR >:O Trans woman's arrest exposes contradictory double standard

2011-11-17T04:29:00.000-05:00

A trans woman was denied a documentation gender-change and then was arrested for indecent exposure when she took off her top in protest

Tennessee resident Andrea Jones effectively demonstrated this week how poorly transgender people can be treated. According to the federal government, Jones is a woman, but Tennessee’s Department of Safety says she doesn’t have enough proof to have her state gender documentation changed. The state claims she only had partial sexual reassignment surgery and state law requires a “full sex change” to recognize a change of gender. When her paperwork was rejected, she went outside and removed her shirt in protest, for which she was arrested. The police report read:

Mr. Jones continued to yell that he had the right to show his breasts in public and wanted to be recognized as a female.

If the state recognizes her as a male, then it was not against the law for her to remove her shirt in public, as only the showing of “the female breast” counts as public indecency under Tennessee law. The state is essentially punishing her both for being female enough and for not being female enough, whereas the federal government already recognizes her as female.

Jones’ story demonstrates how unrealistic it is to set standards of “proof” for people to identify their gender transition. If trans people were celebrated for their authenticity, they would not face the undue hardship of being punished just for being who they are.

That's awful and such BS >:O BUT, while angry, I'm also impressed by her choice of protest (and quick thinking) in exposing the contradictions and double standards our society operate with. Apparently she's female enough to be arrested as a woman, but not to legally be considered as one. e_e

I've wondered myself where I fall in legality if I walked around naked in the summer (which is supposedly legal in Ontario, but I haven't seen nebody do it, and protestors needed a permit to do it this summer, so I dunno) because sometimes it's freakishly hot. Of course, when I even tie up my t-shirt cuz it's so hot, I get harassed and creepoids attempt to touch me... so... >_<;;;Neways, RAWR AT STUPID TRANSPHOBIC LAWS AND REGULATIONS >:O

Bonus rages about the Penn State child rape cover-up

2011-11-16T03:29:00.002-05:00

Mike McQueary claims that he stopped the rape he witnessed and told the police

McQueary, now the football team's wide receivers coach, told a friend from Penn State that he made sure the 2002 shower assault he witnessed was stopped and went to the police about it. The friend made McQueary's email, written Nov. 8, available to the AP on Tuesday on the condition he not be identified.

McQueary, who has been placed on administrative leave and did not coach in Saturday's 17-14 loss to Nebraska, wrote: “I did stop it, not physically ... but made sure it was stopped when I left that locker room ... I did have discussions with police and with the official at the university in charge of police .... no one can imagine my thoughts or wants to be in my shoes for those 30-45 seconds ... trust me.”

Added McQueary: “Do with this what you want ... but I am getting hammered for handling this the right way ... or what I thought at the time was right ... I had to make tough impacting quick decisions.”

I tend to try to give ppl the benefit of the doubt when they claim stuff, but I really doubt this. I find it convenient that now that he's under fire for not doing anything, he emails a friend saying he stopped the rape & called the police, and hints that the friend can do what he wants with the email (I.E SHOW THE MEDIA). Why didn't he mention this in his grand jury testimony? Who would testify that they did LESS than they did to stop a rape!? Now that he's not under oath, he suddenly remembers his heroics?

Oh and another thing. Everybody is analyzing or commenting on the one question during the Costas/Sandusky interview, where Costas asked Sandusky if he was attracted to young boys. One tweet I saw said that he took too many seconds to answer, and another said that Sandusky saying "I enjoy young people" is disturbing.

In this context, that kind of loaded answer IS incredibly disturbing (you'd think for a guy doing an interview supposedly to clear his name, he'd know better than to answer with that, Sandusky basically admitted to everything BUT actual legal rape) but what gets me is everybody being focused on who he's attracted to and the question itself as being of super import, and ppl going "HE TOOK TOO LONG TO ANSWER!"

WHO CARES WHO HE'S ATTRACTED TO!? HE DID WHAT HE DID! HE COMMITTED RAPE!

This isn't me defending pedophiles or nething btw, it's just... first off, when it comes to child abuse/rape cases, there's always this idea that the person must be attracted to a) the age and b) the gender, and that sets up the idea that NOT being attracted is a defense (it also plays into the fallacy that every male that rapes boys is homosexual)... and secondly, it again makes that stupid fallacy that rape is about sexual attraction, and is an extension of it. Sometimes sexual attraction MIGHT have to do with rape, but it's hardly universal, OR necessary, so therefore focusing on it goes to that fallacy b/c it implies that sexual attraction is necessary, or a factor we can predict in every rape, rather than being another possible factor (and not necessarily even a causal one). Also it plays into all sorts of problems where taking AWAY sexual attraction prevents rape. -_-

To me the most important thing is that he RAPED THOSE BOYS not if he's attracted to them. What if he honestly isn't? So what? -_- Does that change anything? Does it change anything if my rapist was attracted to trans women or not? If he answers quickly is he more likely to be guilty than if he answered slowly?

-_-;;

This entire case is just making me angrier and more upset day by day. There's so much fail to go around >:O

FFS ASSHATS, PEOPLE WERE RAPED

2011-11-11T02:04:00.001-05:00

Jezebel - What if Penn State's Coach had victimized girls?

UGH -_- UGH UGH UGH... I HATE when ppl do this... when there's something going on that has NOTHING TO DO with a certain issue but ppl create a hypothetical question to make it as if that was an issue... I see it a lot with MRAs with the "you know if the criminal was a woman then she'd have been let off" "if she was a man she'd be killed" "if the victim was a girl everybody would support her" etc etc, but I dun rly care about MRAs so I dun rage about it...

But... FFS JEZEBEL! >_<;;Even if they're right (and it's ridic to make up hypothetical situations and then answer them), IT'S IRRELEVANT! This isn't a case of OMG GIRLS vs OMG BOYS b/c THERE WERE NO GIRLS OR WOMEN INVOLVED -_- And you can't just say "WELL WHAT IF" to make it a gendered issue. -_-What if Joe Frazier was a female boxer? I BET THERE WOULDN'T BE TRIBUTES TO HER!It's so stupid! -_- And it's a cheap and stupid way to inject your ideology into things that have nothing to do with your ideology. -_-AND IT'S INSULTING, INSENSITIVE AND WRONG >_<;;Many children have been raped by a child rapist that was allowed to keep doing it because the school administrators and coaches that knew turned a blind eye and even tried to quietly take him off the team (while allowing him to continue to operate his charity there, it reminds me of the Catholic church simply re-assigning abusive priests) and Jezebel thinks that now is the time to start playing "who has it worse"? -_-;;;It's one thing if there were girls and boys being abused in the same situation and one gender was getting justice while the other was not... but this is doing that thing I said above "WELL YOU KNOW THAT IF THEY WERE GIRLS/BOYS THEN..."a) we don't "know" that because we aren't Q and we don't have access to multiple universesb) yes, if things were different, they wouldn't be the samec) WHO CARES!? THESE ARE REAL PEOPLE AND THIS IS A REAL SITUATION AND WHETHER IN SOME FICTIONAL UNIVERSE THINGS WOULD BE WORSE OR BETTER OR PURPLE OR GREEN IS IRRELEVANT, INSULTING AND DISGUSTING TO EVEN DERAIL INTOUgh.Not that I expect that much from Jezebel either given how whenever I hear about them it's some problematic article or another -_- But... this rly RLY RLY angers me >:O

And while we're on the subject... the media needs to stop being so f-ing squeamish about rape and sexual assault and use the f-ing words.

Since I listen to a lot of sports talk radio, I've been hearing a lot about this case and I've heard "sex scandal" way more than I've heard "child rape" or even "sexual abuse scandal" (to his credit, Stephen Brunt on Primetime Sports corrected host Bob McCown who was trying to put it "gently" with euphemisms and said "it's child rape") >:|

It reminds me of when Eric Tillman plead guilty to sexually assaulting his 16 year old babysitter, and the media was tiptoeing around that too (Bob McCown referred to it as "a sexual indiscretion" as if he had cheated on his wife and not SEXUALLY ASSAULTED SOMEBODY).

Or when the Toronto Star reported on the conviction of a twin who raped his brother's girlfriend as "convicted of sex with twin brother's girlfriend". Um no.. he wasn't convicted of SEX. SEX ISN'T A CRIME! RAPE IS THE FUCKING CRIME! >:O

ARGH! >:O I am so sick of "rape" being conflated with "sex" and the media's squeamishness in reporting >:O (esp things that don't fit the RAWR CRIMINAL MINDS MONSTER KIDNAPPING PEOPLE AND RAPING THEM modus operandi)

I feel so ill... this entire thing is so rage-inducing and makes me so angry... the cover up... the fact that they didn't fire Paterno immediately... and that they ONLY fired him b/c he broke ranks and said "I should have done more" which opens them up for a lawsuit and so they had to disassociate with him, and that the student body is rallying behind him and they rioted to protect a guy who was negligent in stopping a CHILD RAPIST! >:O

I know that in some US cities, college football is religion and football coaches are gods, but this is f-ing ridic. PRIORITIES PEOPLE! PERSPECTIVE PEOPLE!!! >:O

It's sickening that they think that Paterno is somehow the victim here... >:O

And honestly, we know the NCAA won't give them the death penalty, but Penn State should give themselves the death penalty, even if it's just for the cynical pragmatic purpose of giving them a chance to regain trust in any future recruits and their parents. And their reputation outside of their supporters. >:| Kill the entire program for a season, and fire EVERYBODY. Cleanse the entire place and bring in new people. And THEN you can claim "this won't happen again" because at least you can claim you're starting with new soil now >:|

But still... this is absolutely bulls-... the media reporting, the students, Paterno, the cynicism of the school, the fact that this rapist was protected to preserve the all-mighty football program and that Jezebel thinks this tragedy is a GREAT time to play the "WHAT IF" ideological game. >:\

UGH! >:O

REAL PEOPLE WERE VICTIMIZED, TRAUMATIZED AND VIOLATED HERE PEOPLE! THE LEAST IMPORTANT THING RIGHT NOW IS FOOTBALL, YOUR JOB, OR YOUR IDEOLOGICAL HYPOTHETICALS >:O

I wish the survivors and their families infinite healing, strength and heart-felt prayers :(

THIS IS THE GREATEST THING EVER!!!!

2011-11-03T02:04:00.001-04:00

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW <3

I dunno where it came from (I found it while Escher Girl pic hunting xD) but... AWWWWWWWWWWWW :D

Deadpool Pony is SO CUTE! :D But I'm in love w/ the Ms. Marvel pony cuz I love Ms. Marvel! :D

Miss MartiAmi! :D

2011-11-01T09:26:00.002-04:00

This is me last night! :D I know she doesn't wear socks, but it's cold, even indoors, and I don't have blue boots xD I put together the costume in 2 days w/ some ribbon and blue cloth I found at Wal-Mart, so I'm pretty happy w/ it despite it not being perfect XD I plan to fix it up (esp the cape), get some blue boots, and then I'll have a Miss Martian costume for comicons! :D

(oh and the X rode up a bit, that's why it looks like that. It was lower but I didn't adjust it for the picture :\ )

Um no.. blackface isn't acceptable just cuz it's Halloween.

2011-10-31T09:18:00.000-04:00

Hockey player, Raffi Torres dresses up as Jay-Z, complete with blackface

His wife dressed up as Beyonce.

Ugh >_<;;And what I hate more is of course the usual defenses are getting trotted out from the defenders. Paul Bissonnette, of the Phoenix Coyotes, said that it's okay b/c Raffi's a huge Jay-Z fan (with fans like that, who needs enemies?) and on the FAN590, Greg Brady and Jim Lang (the morning show) defended it saying that the people upset are just over-sensitive white people, and that "it's just a costume" and that blackface is part of the costume.Um no.This isn't green, you're not dressing up as an ALIEN, you're dressing up as a HUMAN BEING. Plus all of the historical baggage that comes with blackface in the first place. >:\

But more to the point, this isn't part of the costume, kinda like how when I dress up as Supergirl, I don't put on white make up or put tape on my eyes.

Just what I needed to start my Halloween >_> Racism-ignorant hosts on my favourite radio station...

UGH >_<;;

I hope the Great Pumpkin rises tonight and yells at Raffi Torres, his wife, and a couple radio hosts.

How The Code helped kill the Boogeyman

2011-10-21T07:29:00.001-04:00

(this is something I just wrote on No Seriously, What About Teh Menz, and I'm putting it here too)

Fall of the Boogeyman (Trigger Warnings: depression, drug addiction, alcoholism)

This is a powerful and sad piece from Sportsnet magazine about the final days of Derek Boogaard, the New York Rangers enforcer who tragically died this summer due to painkillers and alcohol. He's one of three NHL enforcers who died this summer (the other two being Rick Rypien and Wade Belak). All three struggled with depression and at least one committed suicide (there are differing stories regarding Wade Belak).

Reading through, you really get a picture of just how dark and painful Derek Boogaard's world had become, physically and mentally. And after I read it, it felt to me almost like that, although he didn't commit suicide, he didn't seem to care if he lived towards the end. And, although I have absolutely no idea how he specifically felt, I do really understand depression, and the darkness that becomes your life, because I went through 10 years of that, and it angers me that there are some people who, in the wake of these men's deaths, have said "you get paid millions to play a game, suck it up" or as Michael Grange of Sportsnet said on Prime Time Sports, in response to somebody saying the players need a better support system, "your first paycheque is your support system". No. Depression, drug addiction and post-concussion syndrome, are NOT things you can just suck up, they're not things money can fix, and it can strike any of us. This isn't "I feel a little down today". This is (at least for me) a pervasive darkness that swallows up everything in your life, that is with you when you wake up, and is still there when you go to bed.

And Boogaard wasn't just dealing with depression, as I listed, he was dealing with a drug and alcohol addiction (that he used to cope with the pain of being a human punching bag because the antiquated hockey "code" demands that job be filled by someone) and post-concussion syndrome from being punched in the head in a game that's already vicious enough WITHOUT having a sideshow where people bare-knuckle bash each other in the temple and face. He was dealing with ALL THREE, and I can't even imagine how hard it would be to deal with all of that, when at least two of those things (post-concussion syndrome and pain killer addiction) conflict with each other. And it's so tragic... and sad... and absolutely unnecessary.

And I understand that he might very well have ended up an addict in another job. But, he wasn't in another job, and it's impossible to ignore that a lot of his life was spent not just taking punishment, not just having his nose broken, and his brain concussed, but also steeling himself each and every game to HIT SOMEBODY with his bare fist, to give those same punishments out to another human being. And that cannot be easy, and it can't be dismissed.

I remember hearing an interview with a former NHL enforcer (I think it was Tie Domi, but I don't want to attribute things to him he did not say), and listening to him talk about how difficult it was for him to fight, the pain in his fists, and of having to hurt others, and that his parents just refused to watch the game when he was fighting because they didn't want to see their son get punched.

And it's... ridiculous! It's ridiculous that we pause a game to have two people punch each other in the head without rules and without gloves while standing on 2 blades in an ICE RINK where their head colliding with the ice can kill them (see Don Sanderson, who died in an OHL fight). It's ridiculous that the referees don't break it up, it's ridiculous that the fans cheer it on, it's ridiculous that the league doesn't suspend players who fight like they do in every other league and it's ridiculous that it's defended as "part of the game" when it's as much a part of the game as a game of poker breaking out during a tennis match would be. And it's ridiculous that part of why it's "part of the game", that it's "part of the culture", and that concussion-mongers like Don Cherry of Hockey Night in Canada are so big on fighting, is because it's part of The Code.

Sports is filled with unwritten "codes". Codes can be good, and they can be bad. They can encourage fair play and sportsmanship, or they can support homophobia, pedophilia (players refusing to testify or speak up against their agent who molested them as child players, such as in the case of David Frost), and violence (hazing, keeping quiet about abuses of and by other players, covering up rape, silencing rape victims, all in the name of "supporting the team"). And a lot of the time, the basis behind codes is "being a man". And that's the basis of The Code that supports fighting, and you hear the dog whistles of "be a man" almost every time you hear a defense or encouragement of fighting. You hear it in Mike Milbury decyring the "pansification" of hockey, you hear it in "if you don't like it, go watch women's hockey" and you heard it two weeks ago when Don Cherry called three former enforcers that he believed spoke out against fighting, "pukes".

And you also hear it when depression and hockey culture intersects. I remember back in the early 2000s, when the Maple Leafs were in the playoffs and forward Shayne Corson took himself off the roster because he was suffering from depression, and I remember the outcry from the fanbase, and the same fans who cheered him on as a tough grinder the year before, when he effectively shut down Ottawa Senator superstar, Alexei Yashin, were now calling him "weak" and "cowardly". I remember, because I had attempted suicide that winter, and I wrote into a major Toronto newspaper defending him, and talking about how serious depression is. Because it is. And it doesn't matter if you're a 20 year old trans girl in deep repression, or if you're a hockey player making millions of dollars playing a game professionally others only dream to play. It bites just as hard, and he couldn't suck it up any more than I could.

And all of that, every bit of that, depression, fighting, concussions, the toll that The Code and a hockey and sporting culture that encourages "sucking it up" and mocks those who come forward with serious mental health issues, is something that the NHL, and hockey culture, its fans, the media, the players union, the owners, everybody, has to GET. They have to get that athletes can have mental health needs and need support systems too. They have to get the seriousness of concussions, and not rushing players back from them. They have to get the pain of having to inflict pain. They have to get that there needs to be an environment where people can TALK about these things without being shamed, and without being demeaned (they also need to not see being female as being an insult, or see female hockey as something men need to distance themselves from, and stop restricting the women's game, but that's another topic). They have to get that to change the culture, the players association has to stop defending players who brutally injure other players, and the owners have to be willing to change the rules.

And it IS important that it happen at the top level, because sports trickles down. As much as you change the rules in lower levels, if the owners are willing to pay six figures for a certain kind of player, who is willing to do and take certain things, scouts will select for it, junior coaches will select for it, and parents will see a future for their child being willing and able to do it. And if the pros suck up depression, then the culture will permeate downwards as well. Change has to happen at all levels.

Thankfully, some of this is already happening. Head shots have been banned in junior hockey. Although tragic, the three deaths this summer have added more fuel to the debate about fighting to the point where even NHL head disciplinarian Brendan Shanahan has questioned its place in the sport. Concussion protocols have been changed. Sidney Crosby has not been rushed back, and the media focus on his very long recovery as illustrated, better than ever before, just how long a road back it can be from a concussion, and that players should NOT be encouraged to play if they still suffer from symptoms, even a year on. And there is movement on more support for players and a more open environment for them when dealing with depression, drug abuse and alcoholism.

It's not nearly enough, but at least there is movement, and there is change. Unfortunately, it did not come fast enough for Derek Boogaard, Rick Rypien or Wade Belak, and it can't come fast enough.

For more on fighting and the people involved in it, ppl can watch The Code, the CBC Fifth Estate documentary about hockey fighting. It's pretty slanted (7 voices for, 1 voice, my intellectual crush, Bob McCown, against) but it does show the seriousness and pain that is involved.

Nancy Drew and the case of the disappearing organs.

2011-10-21T02:02:00.002-04:00

I just got the new Nancy Drew comic from the library and ugh -_-

It's part of the "new case files" which continues from the Nancy Drew: Vampire Slayer arc where she has some vampire who wants to be her boyfriend (he's not rly a vampire) and at the end Ned (her ~~beard~~ boyfriend) leaves her for Deidre cuz ... GIRL DRAMUH... even tho the best part of the entire Nancy comic series is that THERE IS NO ROMANCE OR DRAMA and she's like BATMAN! >:| And she PUNCHES BEARS! :D

Now there is drama :( And she spends the book whining about Ned and crying about him -_- Also George and Bess going gaga over the Hardy Boys -_- Bess, sure. But George? That doesn't jibe with how she's been portrayed in the comics. >:| (And George and Nancy are ttlly a couple >_> )

But what bothers me also is that the thinification of Nancy continues. -_- In the earlier books, she looked more like a normal girl. And slowly she's been getting thinner, and also her nails are long and coloured and she's wearing eyeliner and the problem w/ that is she SPECIFICALLY SAYS IN HER DIALOGUE that she doesn't wear these things and doesn't even know how to put it on XD So yeah... ENOUGH COMICS, not EVERY WOMAN has to have make up and natural eyeliner coming out of our pores! Especially not one who cares more about fighting crime than fashion. But she's also getting REALLY thin. The other stuff I blame on the inker and colourist since it only started to show up when he got on the book, but I'm pretty sure that he can't be responsible for the thinification... so that's prolly the artist, Sho Murase :\ And it's rly... I mean besides all the self-image stuff for girls, and that EVERY HEROINE HAS TO BE A SUPERMODEL... it's not even like SHE WAS NOT THIN BEFORE. -_-

But now she's like... well not Ian Churchill standards, but we're at Michael Turner thinness at least...

Also the other negative side effect, is as Nancy thins, so do the other characters, and Bess, who is supposed to be on the thick side, ends up... looking like yet another thin woman, which undermines that.. she's not supposed to be. -_- (and it also becomes problematic if you start telling girls that somebody who is drawn thin is fat... also that it was always cool that she's supposed to be the desirable one and not thin)

For a comparison (I haven't scanned the book yet, but I will), here is a picture of Nancy and the Hardy Boys as they might look IRL:

And this is the comic:

And yeah I get that it's NOT REAL LIFE, and blah blah blah stylistic choices (I get this a lot from troll msgs in my tumblr xD ) but that's my POINT. If it's a stylistic choice, THAT'S what I have a problem with, the style that says "men are human sized and women are sticks with human sized heads." Especially since NANCY DREW stories are meant for girls right? So there's none of this "SUPERHERO COMICS ARE MEANT FOR GUYS!" business this time... -_-;;;

I loved the series b/c we had an awesome non-Ian-Churchill-sized bear-punching heroine who wore constantly neat clothing (tho she claims to not care what she wears either xD me and Trish suspect that her nanny dresses her in her sleep) and saves the day and fights female-Bane (villain who can lift a car over her head) and other things :D She once drove a prototype tank! And besides all the annoying DRAMUH ROMANCE stuff now, she also looks like... just another comic book heroine -_-;; (without the giant beach ball bewbs)

Yeah, it's not the end of the world, but it's disappointing :(

Another cute thing that amuses Ami :3

2011-10-19T22:24:00.000-04:00

My friend Summer Snow showed me this comic

Awww... yay! :D

I always liked Poison, and this comic handles the trans stuff well and I think it's kinda cute :3

So yay! :D

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

2011-10-19T22:10:00.000-04:00

This is Antonio Garay, nose tackle for the San Diego Chargers.

That is actually his car.

I think I'm in love. *-*

HE IS NOW OFFICIALLY THE COOLEST NFL PLAYER EVAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(credit to Sportsnet magazine for letting me know about his awesome Hello Kitty car! :D Yes... I buy sports magazines >_> )

Toronto Police fails again -_-

2011-10-13T00:26:00.000-04:00

Oh Toronto police, you continue to impress

How would you feel if someone violated your privacy and space by following you, leering at you and then looking up the skirt of your school uniform while you were going to school? Then how would you feel if the response of local police was to tell you and your classmates to stop wearing your school uniform during your commute, indirectly blaming YOU for the victimization?
That’s exactly what happened to two female students at Greenwood College, a private high school in Toronto. After a man harassed them and looked up their skirts while they were taking the subway to school, the Toronto police advised the school principal to tell the female population to put on their school uniform at school instead of at home in the morning. The principal apparently supported the sentiments and shared the message with the whole school.

*SIGH* Has Toronto police not learned anything -_-;;

“This person was looking up the girls’ skirts,” said Hardy, who would not divulge the ages of the two students. “So the advice is given … if they had, for example, jeans or sweatpants on, it wouldn’t be an issue.”

What I find especially interesting though, is that the school didn't re-examine their uniform policy and allow their students to wear pants, or jeans or sweatpants (not that it's the outfit's fault, but gendered dress codes are stupid in general, and skirts can be rly cold)... no... instead they go "wear pants until you get to school, then put on a skirt"

*HEADDESK*

Ugh -_-

Crimson Star Wizard

2011-10-07T03:23:00.000-04:00

This was passed along my way via Escher Girls, and I loved it so much I want to promote it as much as possible! :D

It's an artist named Celebrenithil's take on a sexy male character, complete w/ Escher Girl pose!

XD

Check it out, it's awesome! :D

(also check out Escher Girls if you haven't alrdy! :D )

Dear South Park Slope PD: Women Aren't Children

2011-09-30T14:02:00.001-04:00

South Slope Park police judge women's clothing, warn them they're encouraging a rapist with "easy access"

Lauren, a South Slope resident, was walking home three blocks from the gym on Monday when she was stopped.

The 25-year-old, who did not want her last name to be used, was wearing shorts and a T-shirt when she claims a police officer asked if she would stop and talk to him. He also stopped two other women wearing dresses.

According to Lauren, the officer asked if they knew what was going on in the neighborhood. When they answered in the affirmative, he asked if they knew what the guy was looking for.

"He pointed at my outfit and said, 'Don't you think your shorts are a little short?'" she recalled. "He pointed at their dresses and said they were showing a lot of skin."

He said that such clothing could make the suspect think he had "easy access," said Lauren.

She said the officer explained that "you're exactly the kind of girl this guy is targeting."

Asked whether officers were warning women against wearing shorts or skirts, the New York City Police Department responded in no time.

"Officers are not telling women what not to wear—there's a TV series that does that," quipped Deputy Commissioner Paul Browne in an email. "They are simply pointing out that as part of the pattern involving one or more men that the assailant(s) have targeted women wearing skirts."

Note to the NYPD: It should be apparent by now that commenting on women's clothing is not a good idea, no matter how good the intention.

So it should come as no surprise that a grass-roots group formed in the wake of the attacks, Safe Slope, has criticized this alleged tactic—among other things—in an open letter posted on its website and Facebook page.

Jessica Silk, one of Safe Slope's founders, called such interaction with police "completely inappropriate."

"There have been reports that the women attacked were all wearing skirts," she said. "Unfortunately this might be a common link between the women that were attacked but the message shouldn't be that you shouldn't wear a skirt. The message should be that, 'Here are ways that you can protect yourself.'"

Lauren said she's been surprised by the male responses to the incident—including from her own father. She said the consensus among men is that while it was inappropriate for the officer to broach such a topic, they all think he has a point.

Oh FOR FUCKS SAKE. >_< Police: ur doing it wrong.And I get what they're trying to do. And I also understand that in this case it appears the rapist they are trying to catch does have a type (and is the stranger danger kind of rapist). It's the way they're doing it. >_<;;

Women aren't children. Release the profile of the rapist's targets, and let women decide what we should do. We're not idiots. If we hear that a rapist is targeting only women in skirts, we can make our own decisions on whether we want to wear a skirt or shorts when we go out. -_- For that matter, how short is too short? Like are LONG skirts ok? Will he not rape me if the skirt is 2 inches higher? Can ppl sue the police if they wear pants and get raped neways?

If you think women might not notice the profile, and you rly want to warn ppl, these same police officers that are right now being the clothing police can talk to ALL ppl in the area, men and women, regardless of dress, about the rapist, his type, and etc.. I mean isn't that in general a good idea? First off, like I said, what if that's NOT his type? If you honestly mean to warn ppl, it's stupid to ignore ppl that could still be targets. And again, what if the women get raped neways? The police are using their positions as authorities on the subject to imply that you'll be safe based on how you're dressed and that might give ppl a false sense of security. Is that going to make ppl more safe?

And both men and women should be aware if there's a person running around the area assaulting ppl. Again, if it's such a danger that you feel you need to send police out to tell ppl, tell ALL ppl and give them ALL the info and LET THEM DECIDE HOW TO LIVE THEIR LIVES!

Also, what if there's a rapist targeting Asian women? I've been harassed by Asianphiles before... will the police start stopping Asian women telling us we look too Asian? We should change our hairstyles, or wear sunglasses, or makeup or something? -_- I can just imagine it... "ma'am, don't you think your bangs make you look a little too Asian? You look a bit like a delicate Asian flower to me. Tsk tsk..."

e_e

Women aren't children. Don't treat us like we are.

A great piece by Laura Hudson on how women are portrayed in superhero comics and wtf is wrong w/ it

2011-09-22T17:58:00.000-04:00

I know it's been said before, but we can't say this stuff enough, because the problem still happens, the defenses still come in, and every so often we'll get ppl (like that CBR piece of "but men get objectified too!") who will say "everything's all right folks!" and the ppl who defend and fuel this stuff will smile and nod and feel everything is a-ok. :\

http://www.comicsalliance.com/2011/09/22/starfire-catwoman-sex-superheroine/

So it can't be said enough :D And this is a great great piece by Laura Hudson about why the recent Catwoman and Starfire depictions aren't "empowering" even though they're being veiled in a "WOMEN ARE SEXUALLY LIBERATED!" guise. And why she's sick of the way comics portray female heroes and draw and write female heroes, and how it's not about the female characters at all, but about the assumed hetero male audience that's viewing and reading them. >:\ (As I said in my previous blog post, this also seems to be pretty insulting to hetero men because it assumes they WANT to view their heroic fantasy co-heroes this way)

Though, I could go without "chicks with dicks" -_- Plz? Well meaning or not,that phrase has a lot of historical BS w/ trans ppl, and surely there are better phrases >_> Besides, the problem isn't that women are being written w/ the voice of a man, b/c women and men aren't different species, the problem (as Laura is highlighting) is that women are being written as a different species BY men, so it'snot rly "woman w/ a man's voice" is "women w/ the voice of a sexual object of a specific hetero male fantasy" >_<;; And before we forget... these characters are CREATIONS. This is something that a lot of ppl seem to get lost in when arguing or defending this stuff. None of these characters are REAL! >_<;; Any backstory, personality traits, cultural things of alien cultures, etc etc... are ALL MADE UP. And so is how the characters react to them. So the "OH STARFIRE HAD RECENT ENCOUNTERS WITH SLAVERY SO SHE'S LIKE THIS NOW" thing... well the slavery was made up... so is how she reacts to it... >_>

Nobody is attacking Starfire, the PERSON, b/c Starfire DOESN'T EXIST! They're critiquing the AUTHOR and the ARTIST, who ARE real people. And the attitudes of the company that consistantly pumps out imagery and characters that are like this. It's the same as any other stylistic and creative choice that can be analyzed, critiqued and found wanting. It's one thing to be judging me on the way I dress, or how I react to my PTSD for instance... it's another if I was a MADE UP CHARACTER and my life and history and everything was MADE UP... in the first scenario, you're criticizing a real person for their own body autonomy...in the second you're critiquing a fictional work, and the author behind it, and their choices.

And in the context of superhero comics, that context is CLAIMED to be selling POWER FANTASIES, and for female heroes, claiming to be selling power fantasies to WOMEN. And in this way, the "sexually liberated" thing also cuts both ways. You can't defend yourself as writing depictions that are powerful to women, when it's WOMEN WHO ARE TELLING YOU THOSE DEPICTIONS ARE NOT POWERFUL OR INSPIRING!

Esp since, as Laura said... so many women have grown up being told by society, and ppl they encounter in day to day life, that all we're good for is sexual objects for men, and that our bodies and how sexy they are to men, are all that matter... and then we open up the pages of our supposed heroic fantasies, and we find that in fact, even to be a hero, the most important thing is how sexy we are to men -_-;;

It's so ridiculous, and I'm so glad that Laura and others are, again, speaking up about this, b/c as I said, it can't ever be said enough.

Not until it changes neways. xD

(and as a bit of shameless self promotion, if you don't believe Laura about the ridic ways women are drawn and portrayed in comics, check out Escher Girls, which provides a nice little archive of this stuff xD )

How not to harass an Asian girl

2011-09-14T22:55:00.000-04:00

This video is amazing, and also so sadly true :( I've gotten a lot of those >:\ A lot of guys srsly seem to think we're either food, or think that we exist to cook them food, or that that they like East Asian food makes them... special or something -_-

The other thing that rly bugs me is when they try to guess at our ethnicity or ask us "where are you from" -_- I always answer Toronto. And when they say no really WHERE ARE YOU FROM, I answer Toronto >_> And when they ask what country I say Canada xD I know what they mean, but if you don't know how to say "what's your ethnic background" (which I still am annoyed that this matters to ppl who don't know me) then I'm not going to humour you. >:\

Oh... and once on an airplane, I had a guy ask me "what are you?" and "are you mixed" after I stared at him -_-;; He explained that he has a Chinese co-worker, a Korean co-worker and a Japanese co-worker and I don't look like any of them, so therefore I can't be any of those ethnicities -_-;; Cuz y'know, I don't look like THREE PEOPLE YOU KNOW, therefore I must be some other mysterious and new type of Asian person!

-_-

Gross gross gross xD

Neways, watch the video, it's great xD

I started a tumblr! :D

2011-09-11T05:52:00.001-04:00

Escher Girls: Float like a butterfly, Sting like a WTF!?

That's my new tumblr! It's for all of those pictures we've all seen in fantasy art, comic books and video game art where women are in action poses that are IMPOSSIBLE b/c the artist needed to show a part of hers that wouldn't be visible normally. xD

I hope ppl get a kick out of it xD

Please spread it around and submit stuff if you can! :D

Thanks! :D

Toronto Star writer doesn't like Chinese moon cake, decides to write a racist, generalizing, offensive screed about it

2011-09-11T03:21:00.004-04:00

The Toronto Star has decided they don't want Chinese readers any more

What the hell!? >:O It's one thing to be a food critic and critique a restaurant, or a dish in the restaurant... but not only is he criticizing the food in general (like you criticize a restaurant's pizza, not I HATE ALL PIZZA), he's extrapolating HIS tastes onto EVERYBODY, acting like it's universal, and insulting the culture too >:O

Argh >:\ And yeah, just cuz he's Chinese doesn't mean it's okay either, and it rly comes off as him as the token Chinese guy that goes "yeah white ppl! We think this food sucks too!" (which is also insulting to white ppl >:\ )

The Chinese make the worst desserts.

There, I’ve said it.

Everyone knows we make great food. But it’s the ending that’s a crushing disappointment.

Um.. STFU... first off, that's your opinion... secondly... rly... ALL our desserts? -_-;; Fine.. w/e... YOUR opinion... why is this an article...?

If you’ve ever been to a 10-course banquet ending in you slurping sugary red bean soup, you’ll know what I mean. Who ever thought that putting sugar in a can of Libby’s beans could be called dessert?

Who thinks putting raw dough, deli meat, a block of cheese in a bowl of tomato sauce would taste good huh? -_- That's as much like pizza, as sugar in a can of beans is moon cake >:O

On the eighth month of the Chinese Lunar calendar, my family celebrates the Mid-Autumn Festival or Moon Festival. Next to the Chinese New Year, this is the busiest time of year for Chinese grocery stores, as most people will be buying mooncakes.

Learn more about mooncakes here

Now don’t get too excited. I said mooncake, not space cake.

I believe we are the only culture that thinks putting a whole preserved salted egg in a pastry filled with lotus seed, red bean paste and a touch of lard could be called a treat.

He's not funny either -_-;; Also... sure if you break down ANY food to it's ingredients you can make it sound weird -_-; Also if you consider western ideas of food "normal" then nething that differs will be "weird"... but that's a case of bias, not some objective idea of "ew" >:|

And so, kudos to us, because if we can create a dessert out of salted duck egg, then it is only a matter of time before China really rules the world. Spaghetti and fireworks were just the start.

I know there are many of you out there who will write me semi-threatening letters saying that you actually like mooncake. And worse, that I’ve betrayed my ethnicity by even considering the notion that mooncakes are not yummy.

Clever! He knows he's gonna be called a racist asshat, and he's making sure we know... he knows... o_O Also the WONDERFUL strawman there e_e Nobody is mad at you b/c YOU don't like mooncake, ppl are mad at you b/c you're making GENERALIZATIONS and decided that EVERYBODY feels like you do, plus the mocking of our culture >:\ I dun think you're a traitor, just a racist asshat and a terrible writer xD

Mooncakes are the Chinese equivalent of the fruitcake. People give them as gifts because they’re obligated to, and then wind up eating a thousand calories of red bean paste.

Then they hate themselves. Or maybe that’s just me.

It's just you. And no it's not. First off, ppl DO like fruitcake, but more importantly, fruitcake DOES have a social narrative and stigma in western culture of being unedible and something ppl just pass around. Mooncake does not. And I hate how he's essentially misleading non-Chinese ppl reading this by claiming this when it's NOT TRUE. Mooncake isn't a running joke in Chinese culture the way fruitcake is, and ppl actually buy them w/ the intention of EATING them. -_-

Also you're NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT THE WHOLE THING! xD You eat SLICES. Just cuz it's the size of your palm doesn't mean you eat it like a muffin! And can we STOP obsessing over calories. As if no other culture has calorically rich desserts or treats -_-;;

I’ve had my share over the years. Doing research for this article I had to scarf a few down. The salt of the duck egg is an interesting contrast to the sweetness of the lotus paste.

Like stinky tofu and durian, mooncakes are an acquired taste and it’s not the first thing on your list when you think, “let’s go have a fancy dessert.”

If you are thinking, however, “let’s go eat a pound of lard” and wash it down with Jasmine tea, then you would be on the right track. Then it seems I really am in the minority.

He can't just admit that it's his personal taste can he? It HAS to be "NO NO IT'S OBJECTIVE JUST THINK ABOUT IT!" -_-;; Again, you don't eat the whole thing... and again, break down A LOT of food and you're gonna usually get down to "eat lard" or "eat a bunch of sugar" or etc -_-;;

Mooncakes aren't an acquired taste for a lot of ppl, but.. w/e... this is him extrapolating his feelings onto everybody else again xD And again, what's THOUGHT OF as a dessert is dependent on the culture and cultural ideas and norms. Just b/c western white ppl don't think of it as a dessert doesn't mean NOBODY ELSE does -_- He rly is playing this "Chinese person confirming to white people that their standards are the default" thing to the hilt isn't he? >:O

Millions of people buy mooncake each year creating a massive industry that dwarfs the GDP of Delaware.

But what really bugs me is how this whole mooncake gift-giving tradition is getting out of hand.

Mooncakes used to come in humble cardboard boxes. Next they were sold in tin, which was a giant leap forward.

Now they come in elaborate velvet-lined containers fit for jewellery. Some of them come in boxes the size of mausoleums.

If I died tomorrow, I would happily have my ashes displayed in a mooncake box. They are that nice. (Well, maybe not the Hello Kitty Special Mooncake box, but you know what I mean.)

I'm unsure what his point was of saying that lots of ppl buy mooncake a year. Canadians and Americans buy millions of pumpkins a year. That might seem to some even more ridic to spend money on than a tasty dessert. Is he going to point out how much money is spent on those a year and mock it? o_O

What's wrong w/ the tin!? They're pretty and you can keep the box and use it to hold stuff! :D (I hold my Magic cards in one xD ) And secondly... so WHY is it being in fancy boxes a bad thing? :3 At this point it's a tradition, and they make the gift giving thing even more fun, and I love seeing the different boxes around this time of year :D At this point I'm confused. Does he just hate the TASTE of the food, or like everything about it, including apparently screaming about the tins they come in o_O

Cookies come in very nice boxes too. Especially during Christmas, when you see all sorts of nice cookie tins that people give as gifts. What's the difference? o_O Or is that NORMAL cuz it's in the "default" western culture? >_o

Kowtowing to the mother-in-law gets more difficult each year because it means buying the most elaborate mooncake possible.

This year some stores offer a huge 8-inch mooncake fit for an emperor. It also has eight egg yolks. Eight is a lucky number for Chinese folk, since it sounds like “prosperity.”

Eight egg yolks will also likely pack enough calories to put the recipient in a coma. But it comes in a box that would put Tiffany & Co. to shame, and you will need at least two bellhops to carry it to the door.

A handy tip: If you don’t have to impress the relatives, you can pick up a package of four mooncakes for about $11 from Costco.

And if you can wait until after Sept. 12, when it’s no longer kosher to give them away as a gift, many will be half price or less in stores. So you can buy twice as many and enjoy double the calories.

And don’t say I didn’t warn you about the double egg yolk.

Nobody is forcing you to be married to a person or family who likes something you apparently hate with your heart and soul e_e;; Also... DON'T EAT THE EGG YOLKS IF YOU DON'T WANT TO! Omg.. okay I HATE the yolks... and what do I do? I DON'T EAT THEM! And ffs, stop stressing about the calories! YOU DO NOT HAVE TO EAT IT AND YOU DO NOT HAVE TO EAT THE ENTIRE THING!

This rly is just "I hate this food and it's NOT JUST ME, it's OBJECTIVE and I'm gonna convince EVERYBODY to hate it too!" -_-

My family DOES buy mooncakes after also, b/c they are tasty and they like to eat slices of it as a little after dinner snack. But yeah, let's remind ppl of calories -_- I wonder what Mr. Judgementalpants is eating and if he knows just how gross it is if you break down it's ingredients and how fattening it is if he eats like 5x the portions most ppl do? o_O

By the way, all those non-Asian folk saying they like mooncake? Yeah, they were just being polite.

And finally that... the kicker.

I think I speak for all of my non-Asian friends when I say: "f- you asshole" >:\

First, if my friends don't like a food, they'll tell me. Even if the food is cultural, nobody expects everybody to like EVERYTHING, and I think most ppl who aren't this article writer understand this -_-

Secondly, so now, after speaking for Chinese ppl, now you're speaking for non-Chinese ppl? o_O I think there are a TON who disagree w/ you and aren't going to give you the "Good Chinese Person" headpat you desperately seem to be craving -_-;;

What was the Star thinking? xD Are they going to publish other articles now ripping a traditional food of a culture that has both cultural and historical significance? >_>

And just for funsies, here's the Toronto Star's contact info:

lettertoed@thestar.ca to write a letter to the Toronto Star

and

publiced@thestar.ca to write to the Public Editor of the Star

edit: To clarify, he's NOT a food critic (he's just a regular reporter). But he IS Chinese, and I think this is the Star's attempt at "insider humour", except it fails cuz a) it's not funny b) it's not even playing into a narrative we have in our culture (unlike fruitcake in Western culture xD ) and c) it's to a majority audience that's not "inside" -_-

Also as my friend is pointing out he seems to be conflating the various kinds of moon cake TOGETHER into one xD

Manhunter apparently makes an awesome rogue after a little paint :3

2011-09-10T03:46:00.001-04:00

Today, my friend Snail Chimera found a bunch of 50 cent figurines and bought some including one of Manhunter! :D She didn't know who Manhunter is but thought she looked cool and the pose looked cool so she got it, and then turned it into a Rogue for future RPG stuffs! :D (this is a realm I know nothing about xD )

Neways I thought it was rly cool so I wanted to share it! :D Cool, b/c she saw Manhunter (who rocks) and got her even tho she didn't know who she is... cool b/c Manhunter has an awesome pose... and cool b/c the resulting paintjob is awesome! :D Also cool b/c Snail is cool :D

So neways here are the before and after pix! :D (more are on her tumblr, linked above :3 )

Ami Churchill and Summer Turner present: Superboy and Power Boy xD

2011-09-08T21:55:00.002-04:00

On the subject of artistic portrayals of female heroes in superhero comics, yesterday, b/c I was showing some friends how terrible Ian Churchill's Supergirl art was way back when, I ended up showing them the letter by Eddie Berganza of DC begging us to read Supergirl too xD And in it was that line where he said that Powerboy was meant to be a "mimbo" and that he was being dressed like female heroes.. except... as me and my friends noted... he wasn't. xD (for one he had long pants, for another he had body hair) So, me and my friend Summer Snow decided to create what a male version of their costumes might look like (factoring in the differences in male and female modesty in our society) and Summer came up w/ Power Boy and I came up w/ Superboy as a counter (complete w/ boyish face, like Churchill's Supergirl, and smoooooth legs... xD (I deliberately tried to ape how Churchill was drawing SG, but I dun think his arms are thin enough, or maybe I just need to figure out how to draw more muscle definition xD

NEWAYS... now we just need to draw them attempting to punch each other in ridic poses xD (that picture makes less and less sense the more you look at it xD for one... try making Kara's pose... her chest and breasts are going one way, her legs and head are going the other xD also they aren't rly succeeding in hitting each other... xD plus, as Summer points out... Supergirl is going up and Power Girl is going down xD )

OR we can have them fighting in this other impossible pose XD Apparently those 2 cannot fight w/o Supergirl's spine being twisted every which way xD

My power fantasy body is for punching not for posing

2011-09-08T09:12:00.014-04:00

(Note: this post is about the general trends in "mainstream" comics art, and is not talking about artists like Alex Ross or Renato Guedes :3 )

So a CBR contributor has written a piece about how men are objectified too in superhero comics and how what's the big deal about women being idealized also? >_>;

This is prolly gonna be a post where I link to other posts I've written b/c it's stuff I've said before. xD But first off, I actually do think it's problematic if women are reading comics and telling their partners to work out to get an athletic build >_> It's problematic directing women to fit idealized ideas of beauty, and it's problematic for men too -_-

However, if you were to tell a woman to change to fit the body of a female superhero... what would you say? It wouldn't just be get fit... in fact if she's to fit a lot of the depictions of female heroes, getting fit would be BAD, b/c she'd gain muscle... and possibly lose size in parts that superhero comics seem to LOVE exaggerating on women. xD

It'd be... get thin... get implants... get breasts that are weightless w/o a bra... -_-

The thing that's missing is that men ARE being idealized in superhero comics... they're being ATHLETICALLY idealized. It's a power fantasy, so they're depicted as physically powerful, athletic...

Women are being SEXUALLY idealized. They're drawn as pornstars, or supermodels. They're not drawn as athletes. Usually, at best, they'll have a fit body and breasts that look like implants (or can only be achieved via implants IRL). -_-; At worst they look like this.

And I know ppl will say "but men are sexually idealized too!" Well yus... but it's incidental. It happens that our societal ideals for athleticism and sexuality for men are one and the same (for reasons that aren't going to be discussed in this post xD ), so while it's true that the way superheroic men are depicted may be appealing to the hetero female "gaze", it's incidental (and also, stuff such as bulges are generally omitted, so it's not trying to accentuate the sexual, it just happens to accentuate stuff like muscles).

This is even more obvious when you look at comic art from the 90s, or art drawn by artists who greatly exaggerate the musculature on male heroes. Rather than getting giant muscular men, and giant muscular women, you get giant muscular men, and thinner women, w/ prominent breasts and hips. :\ (and broken spines)

If all things were equal, then surely the women would be super muscular too... or the men would have exaggerated penis bulges or something right? o_O

Another example of the different ways we "idealize" men and women in comics... Superman and Supergirl. The excuse for Superman's body is that he becomes naturally athletic and muscular b/c of the yellow sun feeding into his Kryptonian body... and that's also the excuse I hear from defensive fans about why Supergirl looks like this: that she gets the ideal body too. Except that's not the ideal human female body, at least not if we're talking about building muscle and etc... Unless Kryptonian DNA is somehow reading North American beauty standards or something -_-;; And yes, Churchill draws her w/ muscle, but her arms are so thin, if you factored in the muscle, her bones must be the size of drinking straws -_-;; And that's not even getting into how thin her ankles are. Again, if fair is fair, she should be a pretty built girl.

Personally, I would prefer way more diversity of bodies in both men and women, BUT if we are going w/ ideals, is there a problem if Wonder Woman was built like one of the Williams sisters or Dara Torres? Or if Supergirl had a body like Samantha Stosur or Lolo Jones or even Maria Sharapova? Or Miss Marvel had the body of Perdita Felicien. It's not like these aren't attractive ppl... but it'd also be more sensible a body for a female superhero to have, and it'd make way more sense for a power fantasy. :]

Cuz that's the other part. Yes it's all unrealistic, yes it's about imagining ourselves as them. But that's the big fallacy. When girls and women imagine ourselves to be strong, it doesn't necessarily mean we imagine ourselves to look like porn stars, or imagine that we need size DD or E cup breasts, or wish that we had giant breasts that didn't need a bra or wish to be super thin -_-;; I know that society loves to push the idea that all women want to strive to this idea, and SHOULD want to, and therefore a lot of ppl get the idea that the most important things in our lives must always be to want to be sexy, but even putting away the issue of whether or not it SHOULD be, it often ISN'T -_-;;

Just like when boys imagine themselves as superheroes, they're not thinking about how their penis size relates, neither are women thinking of our cup size when we imagine ourselves punching robots, or saving people :] And I think it's MUCH easier to imagine yourself as a hero when the body MAKES SENSE for heroing. I know for me and the friends I've talked to, this is certainly true. :] If I imagine myself as Supergirl, thinking of myself in a fit, athletic body makes way more sense and doesn't cause a cognitive disconnect, than imagining myself emaciated, or having a round bubble butt and big breasts and pouty lips, etc...

And that's not even getting into the costumes or the poses (often impossible, to show both butt and boobs even if it makes fight scenes make no sense) or the panel perspectives or the way female heroes are posed when they're defeated or captured. -_-;; Or the whole fridging thing. :\ (plus that creators create and use "ugly" and "deformed" or "monstrous" male heroes more often than female, and also give them romantic interests despite their physical "issues")

Yes, men are idealized in comics too, but idealized as heroes, as athletes, as having physically strong and built bodies. They are power fantasies first and foremost, for boys and for men. :) Unfortunately, female heroes are not idealized in the same way :\ They're idealized as sexual fantasies first, often aimed also at (presumed to be hetero) men and boys, and not as power fantasies for women, and not w/ bodies built first and foremost for those power fantasies :\ At best they play into the narrative in society that all women must desire, even in the realms of power fantasies, to be beautiful and slender, with round butts and big breasts, or w/ a supermodels build. At worst, they play into the idea that superhero power fantasies are the realm of hetero men, and that women exist in that realm only to be fantasy girlfriends or sex objects. -_-;; (this also is insulting to men as it implies that they do not want to read stories where women are athletic, powerfully built counterparts, and partners :\ )

As I've said before. Women want to be heroes too. And when I imagine myself ripping open my shirt, it's the big red S underneath I imagine revealing, not the obligatory bra-less gravity-defying DDs vacuum-sealed under my top. xD

For more reading (that I've written, I'm too tired atm to go finding other great articles on other blogs, but suggestions are welcome xD ) on the subject:

http://ami-rants.blogspot.com/2011/04/random-ami-thoughts-on-different-female.html

http://ami-rants.blogspot.com/2007/01/under-my-shirt-is-big-red-s-just-like.html

http://ami-rants.blogspot.com/2007/08/supergirl.html

http://girl-wonder.org/girlsreadcomics/?p=107

Okay Annapolis Zachary’s Jewelers, repeat after me: Domestic Abuse is NOT FUCKING FUNNY

2011-09-06T05:58:00.002-04:00

WHAT THE FUCK!? (massive DV trigger warnings)

Just the ad here (in case they remove it w/o an apology or something) (again MASSIVE DV trigger warnings)

ARGH

Um... no... just fuck NO

And again, no it's not "funny" just cuz it's a guy... DV of men is a big f-ing deal too and it's not fucking funny >:O

I'm getting pretty f-ing sick of DV being used as a joke in ads in general (I just blogged about an equally unfunny horrible DV hairdresser ad) >:\

Just... UGH... this is SO FUCKING DISGUSTING! >:O

Thankfully they've provided contact info for us!

Annapolis Zachary’s Jewelers
100 Main St.
Annapolis, MD 21401
410-266-5555
sales@zacharysjewelers.com
www.zacharysjewelers.com/guysonly
www.twitter.com/keithzacharys

Right there.. Twitter or email this place and let them know this ad is not f-ing okay, that DV is not funny, that no violence against husbands isn't funny either, and that ad is incredibly offensive and trivializes DV survivors and DV in general >:O

This is NOT FUCKING OKAY.

Let them know.

FOX Sports thinks racism is hilarious -_-;;

2011-09-06T03:12:00.001-04:00

FOX Sports thinks Asian accents + ignorance of football = comedy gold >_<

Just watching it makes me feel ill >:\

(Also ppl who speak Chinese will get why that one student said "fighting" cuz of the other meanings of the same word)

I wanna give him a Stone Cold Stunner and then toast cokes over him >:|

And this week in Cis News...

2011-09-03T05:20:00.001-04:00

Thanks to Trish I have now discovered cisgendered news which I think is the greatest thing evar xD (it's redoing news stories about cis ppl the way they would be reported if the person were trans)

I find it does help highlight just how irrelevant so many of the details and fascination about trans ppl, our genitals, our transition, our medical status, etc are in mainstream news reporting :]

"Where is Alyssa Bereznak Ami?"

2011-08-31T01:31:00.010-04:00

Cuz this is rly making me go >_o ... An addendum (hopefully the first, only, and last one) to my last post:

Oh FFS can we stop apologizing for her!?

So on behalf of women everywhere, we Ladies of Nerdland would like to apologize to Jon Finkel for Alyssa's bad behavior. Hers is exactly the kind of behavior we despise, the kind that lives up to the mean girl stereotype. She probably won't have enough class to be ashamed of how shabbily she treated you, so we will be ashamed for her. And, also, of her.

e_e

Enuf... we don't have to answer for what ONE INDIVIDUAL WOMAN thinks/says... we don't apologize for Sarah Palin, or Susan Walsh do we? -_-;; This just feels so much like "I'm good! Not like her! We're not like that!" We shouldn't have to feel like we need to apologize for SOME ppl's confirmation biases >_<;;

As I said before, she didn't even make sweeping statements. She didn't claim to speak for all women... she didn't claim to be speaking for a group (like geek girls, or feminists, or girls w/ names that start w/ A >_> ) , she just was a jerk about her own opinion! >_< Scott Adams actually DID claim to speak for all men, and made sweeping gendered statements, and men don't need to apologize for him (and they SHOULD NOT, he speaks for him). -_-

And what RLY bugs me, outside of the "we're the GOOD geek girls! We swear!" thing, is that since we're speaking and apologizing for WOMEN now, when some bitter geek guy doesn't get a date, or can't get a date, or gets dumped, or w/e, they're gonna get mad at us... after all, WE said that women will date geek guys (which of course means them), WE said women love guys who play Magic!, WE said we were the good girls! -_-;;

After all, if we are responsible for her, we're responsible for EVERY WOMAN also >_<;; Do I have to apologize any time a woman dumps a guy for the "wrong" reasons? Are we going to be apologizing for Michele Bachmann?

There's only ONE thing she has in common w/ me... her gender. We're ALWAYS talking about how women aren't a monolith, we're ALWAYS talking about how women aren't responsible for what a golddigger does, or an "flaky" girlfriend, and that "women" aren't hypergamoous, or bad at math, or etc... And HOW can we even apologize for her, or our gender? -_-;; Can we take credit for things she does now too? If ppl wrong her, can they apologize to us?

so why are women, any of us, her keeper? o_O

Edit: Hey I agree w/ an MRA! xD

Kill_The_Rich 1 point 11 minutes ago
So on behalf of women everywhere, we Ladies of Nerdland would like to apologize to Jon Finkel for Alyssa's bad behavior. Hers is exactly the kind of behavior we despise, the kind that lives up to the mean girl stereotype. She probably won't have enough class to be ashamed of how shabbily she treated you, so we will be ashamed for her. And, also, of her.

Just because you're a woman, and some other woman did something wrong, it doesn't mean you have to apologize on behalf of all women. The original author is a mega-bitch (though that word may piss off the effete language-police in r/AMR, it fits)...but so what? You aren't her...as long as you don't act like her you have no reason to feel ashamed.

*thumbs up*

Horrible DV Hair Ad is Horrible >:O

2011-08-30T22:06:00.001-04:00

OH MY GOD (massive DV trigger warning)

Basically it's a hair salon ad where an obv abused woman (w/ a black eye and a guy standing behind her, just to hammer the msg home) is sitting on a couch w/ nice hair, and the msg says that the hair "looks good in all you do"...

WTF!?

WHAT THE FUCK!? >:O

No.. srsly... WHAT... THE... FUCK!?

Not fucking funny! >:\ And it's not "social commentary" like somebody said, since y'know... it's not a PSA, it's an ad for hair, and the msg is how the hair looks good even if you have been abused... which is obv v important >_>

Laird, 24, regarded the controversy as “definitely a demographic thing.”

“My age demographic looks at a picture and they don’t analyze. It’s a high-fashion photo shoot. I think that people our age are more understanding of what we are trying to portray.”

Um... NO.. I hate when ppl extrapolate their own opinions on their gender, or age, or race, or etc... >:| And yeah... it's not about ANALYZING.. it's pretty obv WHAT THAT AD IS SUPPOSED TO SHOW -_-;; it's just about that being in incredibly bad taste and offensive to many >:\ not about ANALYZING it too much or nething...

ugh.. just ugh -_- DV (of either gender, and yus, I hated those Superbowl ads too) is not a joke ppl >:\

So why does this Gizmodo person wipe me out of existence, and why do I need to apologize? o_O

2011-08-30T08:09:00.011-04:00

So this Alyssa Bereznak person from Gizmodo went on a date w/ a world champion Magic player and decided to write a piece about how him being a world champion Magic player meant she couldn't date him cuz he's a loser or something -_-;;

I'm sure by now most ppl have heard of this cuz it's pretty much gone viral in the geekosphere, the feminisphere and the manosphere and whatever other spheres are out there (the spheresphere?) xD I rly can't add nething to it that hasn't alrdy been said since... yeah... it's incredibly judgemental and... POINTLESS xD Like, what was the point of sharing that you don't like Magic: The Gathering and apparently being a pro player turns you off and you feel the need to make fun of him online o_O I mean besides making yourself look bad (I know she tried to spin it into some sort of parable about human nature, but.. nice try xD ) and it being pretty clear you dislike Magic and seem to impute qualities on a person for their like of Magic xD

Also yeah, everybody alrdy knows I'm a huge Magic geek and I make my own cards b/c I'm awesome that way XD And I'm a comic geek, and sports geek, and video game geek and I own 40 plush penguins... >_> (no srsly, I do :D )

But this isn't rly about that... cuz honestly, it's all been said, and tweeted, and yeah.. WTF xD

The thing I dun get tho is why does she represent women?

Several of the responses I see (such this one by Skepchick or Elly Hart in Kotaku where she apologizes for our gender) seem to be worried that ppl think she's speaking for women, or represents all women, or are making women look bad. Which, in a way, I get, cuz some ppl have this stereotype of women as anti-geek superficial bags of mostly water. e_e;;

The thing is, I don't feel that way... like even when reading it, I never thought "omg, this makes us look bad" b/c she's not even claiming to write for women (she's kinda claiming some sort of human nature, but not female nature), she didn't say "guys, women just aren't into this geek crap"... she's just making HERSELF look bad >_<;; (tho TBF she did make a stupid "mothers should warn their daughters" joke which I'm sure she thought was v funny >_> actually I suspect she thought her whole piece was funny, except it came off as jerky and not funny )

I mean Scott Adams WAS making generalized statements about men and women, and guys don't feel the need to apologize for him or say "GIRLS WE ARE NOT ALL MISOGYNIST HATE BAGS!" There's plenty of asshats out there saying what men want and what women want, and I don't think they represent all men or all women... and even if SOME ppl have stereotypes of women that might be confirmed by her b/c of confirmation bias... I dun feel panicked by this, or "she's making women look bad".. no more than Scott Adams or Feminazi Poem Guy makes men look bad -_-;;;

As I said, she's not even claiming to speak for all women, and as far as I can tell, she didn't make sweeping statements about men and women... she just.... posted something that made her look rly superficial and... mean... on a geek blog... for reasons I'll prolly never understand... and she's pretty much introduced herself to the sphereosphere as... the big anti-Magic jerk of Gizmodo xD

But I just see how that makes HER look bad... I dun see how that makes WOMEN look bad, nor do I understand why I should even be worried it does o_O Or why I have to apologize for my gender.. I dun even think I CAN apologize for my gender just like I can't apologize or be an avatar for all trans ppl o_O (this is not me being defensive of women or nething, I just am confused by the immediate "OMG WE ARE NOT ALL SUPERFICIAL BITCHES", I would hope most men know that all the geeky women they know aren't wiped out just by this one person :3 )

All I see is that it's made a specific woman look bad... her -_- And made a specific woman look superficial and petty and anti-geek. xD And I'm going to criticize her (as I did above) for her mean anti-geek mocking... but I'm not gonna apologize for my gender or worry about how it makes women look bad... b/c... it doesn't... xD Just like Scott Adams or Feminazi Poem Guy doesn't make men look bad, just themselves.

And for the record, knowing stuff about Magic is a TURN ON for me...

now... golf on the other hand... >_>

((BREAKING NEWS: ALL WOMEN DO NOT HATE GOLF!!!!))

edit: Skepchick has an update on her blog about the Magic champ's side of the story, and it's pretty clear that he considers it a non-event and sees her article as her just not liking Magic. xD

Ami's crossover adventures :3

2011-08-27T22:04:00.002-04:00

This is a post I wrote at "No Seriously What About Teh Menz?" on hazing being on the decline in pro sports :3

What the hell >:\ And no it's better even if it's only gay men and women doing it... and it's better even if you only do it to men >:\

2011-08-25T04:55:00.000-04:00

Ppl take pictures of passengers on subway, put them on site and rate them

WTF, why is this okay w/ ppl!? >:| (I mean socially/ethically, not legally)

A number of similar social networking accounts and online galleries have sprung up. Some like @peopleonthetube focus on odd clothing and strange circumstances, while the now defunct @tube_chicks rated pictures of female passengers.

But @tubecrush decided not to ask for pictures of women as "we felt like men taking pictures of women on the tube feels different - it's not the same as gay men or women taking pictures of other men," said Mr Kaufman.

This is not okay either!! >:O

Why would it be more okay to take pictures of only men and judge them, or for only women or gay men to do it? >:\ Argh >:O That is not how equaling objectification works!? >:\

I don't think we should be posting pictures of strangers online and judging them if they don't give permission... and I think enuf ppl are alrdy paranoid about their appearance as is :\ (I know some of my friends in the UK who have body image issues are even more self-conscious now knowing ppl might be taking pictures and judging them online >:| )

They made a movie based on a board game!? o_O

2011-08-24T17:17:00.000-04:00

O_O;; Hollywood is RLY running out of ideas... I'm rly amused by the fact that the alien ship shot pegs into the US ships tho xD I'm presuming a heavy fog rolls in soon, and they'll have to fire blindly... "A-5!" xD

Also apparently they are thinking of a movie based on Candy Land too o_O

ANNNNNNDDD It's gonna be like LOTR! o_O (I presume this is gonna be an animated kids thing that they're talking about.. but still)

Admit it. You think the Candy Land movie is one of the worst ideas in Hollywood history. A movie based on the children’s board game that itself seems specifically designed to numb the adult mind with its winding rainbow path past the domains of the nefarious Duke of Swirl and Lord Licorice and into King Kandy’s scrumptious kingdom. But what if the Cupcake Commons were, say, the Shire, and the Chocolate Mountains were Mordor? Because that’s what the Candy Land writers have in mind. Jonathan Aibel, who co-wrote Kung Fu Panda 2 with Glenn Berger, told EW at yesterday’s Hollywood premiere that they have ambitious plans: “We envision it as Lord of The Rings, but set in a world of candy.”
The Lord of the Rings. In a world of candy.

(Hmmm, land of candy.)

“We don’t see it as a movie based on a board game, although it has characters from that world and takes the idea of people finding themselves in a world that happens to be made entirely of candy where there are huge battles going on,” Berger says. “We are going for real comedy, real action, and real emotions at stake.”

-_-;;

Mind you, we alrdy have Rock Em Sock Em Robots: The Movie so why not? xD

I can't wait for the Hungry Hungry Hippos movie xD

(for the record, Real Steel looks terrible -_- The concept isn't bad, they're just playing it WAYYYYYY too srsly xD It should be fun... not The Fighter meets Transformers xD

This is total disgusting bulls- >:O

2011-08-24T03:58:00.000-04:00

This is absolutely disgusting

A transgender woman in Philadelphia who has been spent the last 14 months incarcerated at Riverside Correctional Facility, the city's only prison for women, is now being moved to the men’s prison after she complained that a correction’s officer forced her to perform oral sex.

Prison officials apparently did not know that Jovanie Saldana, 23, is transgender. But, according to the Philadelphia Daily News, while examining her allegations of assault, investigators recorded Saldana's phone conversations and overheard the inmate's mother chiding Saldana into telling authorities the truth about her gender. After that, Saldana — who has been living and dressing as a female since she was 12 years old — was transferred to a men’s prison.

Saldana's cousin, who did not want to be identified, said that Saldana called and asked her to three-way-call Saldana's mother, who lives in New Jersey. Their conversations were in Spanish, she said, adding that after 14 months in the women's prison she believes Saldana was transferred primarily because of the accusation against the guard, not because of gender.

Saldana was charged with several felonies June 11, 2010, including armed robbery. Prison officials say Saldana, who has not had sex-reassignment surgery, should have undergone a cavity search during the initial intake into the prison system and after each subsequent outing for court appearances.

Astonishingly, Lorenzo North, president of the union representing corrections officers, claimed the goof proved that the officer whom Saldana accused of sexual abuse is innocent.

Pre-operative transgender prisoners like Saldana — those whose bodies may not match their actual gender presentation — almost always housed with prisoners of the opposite sex and are particularly vulnerable to abuse and assault.

Transgender women are more likely to end up in prison than virtually anyone else, says Tali Woodward of the San Francisco Bay Guardian. “The oft-quoted statistic about African-American men — that one in four has a history of incarceration — is dwarfed by the available stats on people who are male-to-female, or MTF,” Woodward says. A San Francisco Department of Public Health survey conducted in 1997 found that almost two thirds of MTF respondents had been incarcerated. More than 30% had spent some time behind bars during the preceding 12 months.

Most people agree that the high incarceration rate is due mainly to the difficulty trans people have finding and keeping work, Woodward says. Many turn to underground economies like “sex work, drug dealing, or other illegal forms of moneymaking — and, in the process, greatly increase their risk of arrest.”

WHAT THE FUCK! >:O So f-ing disgusting! >:O So she was sexually assaulted by a prison guard and they react by putting her in a men's prison!? >:O

And yeah I know that's the law for pre-op trans women, and don't get me started on the f-edupness of the law... but... it rly does seem like they are trying to bury her, or punish her for reporting >:O

Also wtf.. so b/c nobody knew she was trans it's proof she wasn't actually assaulted? -_- Why!? As far as I can tell the only logic they might be using is that if he had wanted to assault her, he'd have touched her genitals, and he'd have known (and like any other good cis straight man, panicked) cuz y'know what kind of man DOESN'T touch the genitals of women they're assaulting amirite? >:O (that's me being angry and snarky about narratives in our society about men and rapists, not saying this is true)

ARGH >:O

This is f-ing ridic and doubly disgusting cuz she was SEXUALLY ASSAULTED and then followed up w/ this BS >:O

RAWR >:O

Maggie goes on a diet. Ami goes on a rant.

2011-08-23T17:40:00.000-04:00

What. The. Hell.

This is a children's book meant for 6+ year olds called "Maggie Goes on a Diet" where a young girl is picked on b/c of her weight, and then loses the weight and becomes a soccer star. -_-;;

I love that this is from an author who wrote about bed wetting and bullying too... except I'm pretty sure his bullying book wasn't "capitulate to the bullies and try to fit in" (I hope it wasn't neways) but this is "ppl make fun of you cuz you're fat, so therefore go on a diet and lose it tubby". >:| Like... there's alrdy a problem w/ EDs in our culture for boys and girls, and so many unhealthy body images and food ideas being directed at ppl, and the obsession w/ the "obesity epidemic" in our kids that's putting even more pressure on ppl being thin... and now we've got kids books that are saying the same msg to girls that they get from everything else...

And dieting is a rly loaded issue in the context of our society :\ There's nothing wrong w/ "dieting" per se, but a lot of the times dieting as a narrative in our society isn't about changing your food to be more healthy, it's about being thin, it's about crash diets, it's about trying to cut back on how much you eat (as opposed to just changing what you eat), it's about counting calories, watching carbs, and often it's about putting your body in an unnatural place which is why once ppl get OFF diets, they rebound, b/c their body was being starved and so when you start eating normally again, the body starts hoarding fat and calories... :\ And that leads to yo-yo dieting, and it leads to rapid weight loss, then gain.

And yes, it can also lead to EDs, and rly, given all the msgs our society sends us about losing weight, dieting, controlling our eating, being "strong" against our desires for food, commercials where hunger is portrayed as a monster (there's a Weight Watchers commercial like this) or Special K commercials which encourage replacing all real food w/ their cereal... or the friends don't let their friends eat food ads or obsessing over celebrity weight gain or 100 calorie "guilt free" snacks (should we feel guilty about eating? o_O ), is it any surprise so many ppl decide "well if some is good, then more is better?" when it comes to losing weight, and if you're going to be hungry ANYWAYS, you might as well starve yourself and be in ultimate control.

Which is the other thing that plays into EDs that a lot of ppl miss... a lot of EDs are about control. And there's a lot of those msgs in our society too. Take control of your body, and take control of your life. :\ Things might be going horribly in your life, you might not be able to control that, but you can control your body. You can control how others view you. You can prove that you have the control, you can master the hunger reflex, you can master the pain of not eating, of over-exercise. And a lot of the narratives in our society about weight and eating is about that. Fat ppl are lazy, they're sloth, and gluttony. They have no self-control, they have no will. They're weak. They don't care about themselves. (How many times have we heard a guy justify not wanting to date a fat woman by saying "I want a woman who takes care of herself?" It's ironic cuz when I was thinnest was prolly when I was taking the LEAST care of myself xD ) So if you diet, you're strong, you're fighting sin and temptation. You're in control.

Esp for girls and girls approaching puberty, the push to stay thin can be rly strong, and that's why this book being targeted them is doubly scary to me, b/c this is an age where a lot of girls bodies are changing, and often in ways that don't fit into society's beauty standard (or they fit into specific ones, and then they get harassment, or insulted b/c of large breasts, or big hips, or etc) which is actually v close to a pre-pubescent body... it's thin hips, thin thighs, etc etc... and that's part of why so many EDs manifest during this period of time for girls... b/c it's a way to try to get control when your body feels out of control, when things are changing, and when society says that curves, or TOO MUCH curves is bad... bad bad bad... (I've written before about msgs of post-pubescent female bodies being just stretched out pre-pubescent female bodies in our society).

This is the context, the book doesn't exist in a vacuum... and it's sending similar msgs... your body is bad... take control... CHANGE it...

and love yourself.

That's the thing about this WHOLE thing that bugs me SO MUCH. >_< The idea that only if you're thin can you love yourself, and you'll love yourself when you finally get control.

"Maggie is accepting that kids are mean and kids can be mean and she has decided to do something about it, to take things in her own hands, try to change her own life, try to make herself healthy by exercising. She does want to look better. She does want to feel better and she does not want to be teased," Kramer said.

Apparently, in this case, it's on the case of the bullied to change. I wonder if it's b/c we think that being fat is alrdy unhealthy, and bad, so it's okay if we put the onus on them to change. Sure kids are mean... but don't you want to look and feel better?

Kramer knows that using the word "diet" in the book's title can be risky.

"If I entitled the book 'Maggie Eats Healthy,' somebody in a bookstore ... is really not going to identify with someone who has been overweight, who has health problems," Kramer said. "Diet is a kind of a misconstrued word, and it has many, many meanings."

Basically... he's playing into how loaded a word "diet" is alrdy, and the fat-shaming that alrdy goes on in our society, and the pressures on dieting. Honestly, I'm wondering who his audience even is. Cuz this is the type of book that it seems like he wants PARENTS to buy, and it rly feels to me like he is hoping for parents who want their child to lose weight to pick it up and hope that it'll make their little girl or boy (there's also a lot of pressure on boys to not be fat too, and there is a lot of bullying directed at fat boys, and EDs are on the rise in boys) lose weight and maybe shame/"encourage" them to... and that's rly scary to me.

From here:

The book, entitled "Maggie Goes on a Diet," tells the story of teenaged Maggie and how her life is "transformed" after she goes on a diet, starts exercising and loses weight.

According to a description of the book at Amazon.com, Maggie "is transformed from being extremely overweight and insecure to a normal sized girl who becomes the school soccer star. Through time, exercise and hard work, Maggie becomes more and more confident and develops a positive self image."

It's rly scary to me that "confidence" and "positive self image" is being conflated w/ making yourself thinner, exercise and dieting. :\ It's not that getting healthy CAN'T give you a positive self image. If exercising and stuff is something you want to do, then accomplishing it CAN make you feel better about yourself, but if you're doing it b/c you hope that being thin will make you feel better... it won't. (In fact if you're starving yourself, you'll feel worse, b/c your mood is affected by your bodies lack of energy, I know this from first hand exp) And if your self-esteem is dependent on how thin others see you, or trying to be thin to fit in, or be pretty or etc... then often no amount of thin will ever be enough... :\

Ultimately, what this author is peddling is snake oil. Sending the idea to children and their parents, that all the kid's problem will go away if they just get thin, if they get thin, and pretty and become socially acceptable, and they'll feel better, ppl will stop bullying them, and things are great! And that's rly dangerous, not just b/c it gets it back asswards about feeling good and confident about your body, but also, it's targeting ppl at an age where their bodies are still developing, where their bodies need food and energy to grow, where kids are alrdy at high risk of EDs, and where society is alrdy sending negative msgs about certain types of bodies and dieting and etc... and this children's book is only playing into that and reinforcing that w/ a stick (if you don't diet you'll be bullied) and carrot (if you do diet, you'll be popular and feel good). And AUGH >_<

The OTHER thing? A lot of ppl won't ever be societally thin. And a lot of ppl can't STAY there b/c it's unhealthy and unnatural for their body :\ And this book is sending the msgs to children that EVERYBODY can (to be fair, a LOT of things send this msg)... and what happens w/ the kid who can't? Who no matter how much they starve, or work out... they're never going to have a size change that Maggie in the book has? Or become a soccer star? Since the msg of the book is hard work, then they must have not worked hard enough. They're a failure. And they have to work harder... or they should feel bad about themselves that they're just not good enough. :\

And that for me is the biggest problem I have w/ diet culture, the obesity epidemic crap, and msgs like the one in this book, that thinness (and societally accept thinness) is just about hard work, and "taking care" of yourself, and that thinness is equated to health, and if you're NOT thin, then you're lazy, you're not working hard enough, and you MUST be unhealthy. And it has nothing to do with body type or genetics, or culture... it has to do with YOU, and YOU better work harder, and YOU better starve yourself more, and YOU better push your body more.

If Maggie can do it. So can you.

Ami is officially sexy XD

2011-08-20T01:38:00.001-04:00

That's from my friend Ashley, after I bugged her a million times to vlog about how smexy I was xD

You cannot deny my smexiness! >:3

(also subscribe to her vlog! >:O Cuz she is awesome! And you never know when Ami will show up again! :D )

Ami's friend needs help. Please donate if you can.

2011-08-15T00:54:00.003-04:00

Okay, I have a friend, who is a comics blogger and I think needs to remain anonymous. She is a single mother, and a victim of domestic violence. She's escaped her husband with her daughter, but she desperately needs to see a dentist and probably dental work (b/c of her husbands physical abuse) and has needed it for quite a while but she can't afford it :\ She's in constant pain now b/c of her teeth, and I am really really worried for her and worried about permanent damage as well. The pain is so much she is having trouble functioning. I rly am scared for her and want to help her. So this is me trying to do something.

Please. If you can spare it, donate something. Unfortunately, I don't really have any skills like drawing or nething that I can use to give commissions or something. But if nebody WANTS to help out by drawing commissions, that would be very much appreciated. :]

But regardless. I'm really really worried about her, and she's a really amazing person and if nebody can spare nething, even a few dollars, every little bit will help and hopefully, add up. :) I know her very well, so this is not a scam, this is legit.

Whatever you can donate, please help out. :) Nething would be appreciated.

I'm sorry to be imposing on my readers like this, but I don't know what else to do. (And we already have found government subsidized help in her state, but it's still out of reach for her to afford)

Spread this around also if you want to. And thank you so much!

Ami

Hey! A Nice Guy (tm) compares his plight to that of the holocaust! How charming v_v

2011-08-14T05:22:00.005-04:00

This is the grossest thing evar (the quoted stuff, not the tumblr account)

When the Feminists came for the Rapists,
I remained silent;
I was not a Rapist.

When they locked up the stalkers,
I remained silent;
I was not a stalker.

When they came for the Players,
I did not speak out;
I was not a Player.

When they came for the men who they got bored of,
I remained silent;
I wasn’t a some one they were bored of yet.

When they came for me, the nice guy,
there was no one left to speak out.

Came from this whiny "nice guy"

He's such a nice guy he just took a poem about the holocaust and turned it all into some whine about the poor plight of Nice Guys(tm) e_e (his tumblr thing also calls us "femiNAZI"s a lot (his caps, not mine) >_<;;

Charming.

I think EVERY guy should be offended that he thinks being a rapist and a nice guy are just two ends of a spectrum >:| WTF

And you do know that ppl being against RAPE is b/c rape is BAD? Not b/c rapists are some poor beset upon ethnic group or something >:\ Rapists HARM OTHERS by being rapists. Jewish ppl, gypsies, etc... do NOT >:|

He makes it sound like we just target rapists for fun! And after we're done w/ them we'll move on -_-

Those POOR POOR OPPRESSED RAPISTS! >_>;;

And yeah apparently boring guys and nice guys are lumped in w/ stalkers and rapists in his mind o_O I think this says more about how he thinks than how feminists think e_e

I just want to roll my eyes forever e_e

It's easy to say you'll die to prevent rape, will you live to prevent rape?

2011-08-08T22:29:00.010-04:00

This post comes from a comment I left on Manboobz in response to somebody who was victim blaming but then said "I would risk my life to save a woman from rape." I've actually heard this a lot... "I'd die to stop a rapist", "If I saw rape happening I'd fight to the death to save her".. or even in other issues "I would risk my life to stop homophobia if I saw it.." etc etc... and it's almost always from somebody who is either being problematic, or about to... and this is a response to that.

Dear people who would "risk their lives to stop rapists" but have no problem victim blaming:

Yes, yes, I get it. You'd fight off a knife-wielding rapist at the cost of your own life to save a single lone, innocent, virginal victim. You'd chase them down a busy freeway. You'd take a knife blow to the belly. You'd fight them to the ends of the earth.

I get it.

The funny thing about that, is it’s always rly easy to make some hypothetical claim that you’d lay down your life to fight off some evil rapist with 1000 knives to save a woman… like THAT’S easy… it’s like it’s easy to say “I would die for my country!” in a hypothetical but will you live for it? Will you actually do things to help the ppl who live there? Will you volunteer? Protest? Raise money?

It’s easy to say that if you saw some woman being raped on the street, you’d of COURSE step in, it’s easy to say you’d tackle a child rapist off a cliff if you had to. That’s easy to say, and it’s easy to just shrug your shoulders and then say “well I’ve done my part to fight rape because If I ever saw it I’d..” except that it’s so much more than that. If you don’t believe survivors, then you’ll never see them. If you believe men can’t help themselves based on how women dress and that the woman is asking for it, or that boys should be lucky to have sex with an older woman, then you’ll see those encounters as being consensual. And if you believe the sexual history, or clothing choice of a woman matters to whether she "deserved it", or that a guy can't be raped because men always want sex, you'll never see them as victims. You'll never stop rape because you'll never "see" it.

But more than that… the truth is, most of the time, we’re not going to be around to see rape happen. We won’t be in the apartment, we won’t be in the house, we won’t be in the hotel room, or yes, even the dark alleyway. So it’s all well and good to say we’d stop it. But most of the time… we’re not there… probably almost all of the time… it’s about what we do the REST of the time. Do we victim blame? Do we spread rape myths? Do we notice when a friend of ours talks about wanting to “take advantage”of a drunk person (male or female)? Do we laugh when a male friend talks about being raped by a woman, and go “you were lucky man?” Do we tell a child to stop making up stories if they tell us they've been assaulted? Do we shrug our shoulders at prison rape or other injustices to prisoners cuz “well they’re bad people, they ask for it”? Do we ask female survivors what they were wearing if they say they've been raped, or why they were out alone? Do we ask survivors why they didn't run or fight? Do we make jokes and make light of rape victims, male and female, so our friends don’t feel they can come to us if they HAVE been assaulted? Do we volunteer at a rape crisis centre? Or donate? Or try to help in any way we can (like my safe space project) Do we write against rape and rape culture, or create safe spaces for survivors? Or even just be a shoulder to lean on?

It’s not what we WOULD do about a hypothetical scenario where we stumble upon an armed rapist… it’s about what we’re doing with our lives NOW, and what we do and say in our day to day lives to help fight rape, to help fight rape culture. :]

That’s what rly matters. It’s easy to say you’ll die to fight rape. Will you live to fight rape?

LAN party bans female gamers because they care soooo much about misogyny

2011-07-24T01:17:00.006-04:00

Organizers of a large LAN party in Texas are concerned with harassment of female players.. solution? Ban female players.

W.T.F.

Srsly... WTF. Not that this should surprise nebody -_- We get this a lot after all. Problem w/ rape? Yell at the women. Don't dress like that. What were you doing out of your house at night? Why did you go up to his room? etc etc... I mean me and my friends just finished snarking a list like that...

And then there's that grope button thing before, if nebody remembers, where some guys were giving out stickers to women to wear if they didn't want to be groped at a con >:\

And so it shouldn't rly be surprising that the solution to women being harassed is to ban women -_- After all the problem is us, and triggering these poor fellows into being misogynist a-holes >:\

Like the OPer, I also have heard an ASSTON of racism in online gaming... so are we banning Jewish ppl and black ppl next too? -_- And gay ppl of course... definitely, since there's a ton of gay rape jokes and "fag" being thrown around >:\

FFS...

"Nothing ruins a good LAN party like uncomfortable guests or lots of tension, both of which can result from mixing immature, misogynistic male-gamers with female counterparts," the organizers originally wrote in an event FAQ. "Though we've done our best to avoid these situations in years past, we've certainly had our share of problems. As a result, we no longer allow women to attend this event.

What's funny is they don't say WHO is having the party ruined... they act like it's THEIR buzz being killed. Um it's FEMALE GAMERS who are having their fun time ruined? You know what's not a good way to fix that? Keeping them from being able to participate in it at all >_<;;;

And they admit that they're immature and misogynist but then are like... well *SHRUG* the best way is to not allow them in!

The thing is this stuff isn't just misogynist, it's MISANDRIST, if you wanna talk about looking down on men, insulting men, acting as if men are necessarily childish, immature and sexist assholes... how about THAT? >:\

Not only do you take away the female players choice to attend, you take away a male players choice to say "fuck no, I'm not going to treat women like that", by just acting like they WILL.

I notice that there doesn't seem to be an assumption that female players will be immature and sexist.. even tho presumably, they're also gamer nerds of the same age -_- As the OPer said, if you RLY wanted to solve this, then make a strict rule that says "no misogynist comments or slurs" and nebody who does gets kicked out. Since it's 50$ to enter, you'd think that MOST guys would want to not have their money wasted and abide >:\

"We actively discourage gamers from being the kind of mysogynistic jackwagons seen in the Reddit post, and such behavior should not be tolerated. Frankly, we don't like that kind of player either. So far as this event goes, it is an special event designed specifically for male gamers. Further, it is meant as a getaway designed to help said male contingent become better men both for themselves and for those who love us."

You know, insulting men more and more does NOT make any of this better. It does NOT help you not seem like a problematic sexist jackass. >:\ It's funny that they say "the behaviour should not be tolerated" but rather than making RULES AGAINST IT, they just ban women. And they said "we don't like that kind of player either" so therefore, it'll be an event JUST FOR THEM. Yea... WHAT!? >:O

And you know, I am SO sick of the whole "putting down men to justify misogyny/keeping women out" crap... >:\ Whether it's in rape apologia "men are just animals, we can't help ourselves! You're like fresh meat to a wolf!" or cultures that don't allow women the same freedoms of men, or restrict their clothing or in entertainment where you can have 5 male heroes and 1 female hero on the team, but as long as she's always sneering at them for being immature, or something, then it's okay! Cuz see, women are goddesses who are perfect and men are pigs and slobs! FFS >:O I WANT EVERYBODY TO BE TREATED AS HUMAN BEINGS, NOT TO HAVE WOMEN PEDESTALIZED AND MEN PUT DOWN AND SPIT ON >:O

and as I said, in this case (and many other cases, as above) it's extremely DISINGENUOUS b/c they don't actually think men are inferior to women, they just want a way to keep women out while being able to act like it's for OUR OWN GOOD >:|

Look, if this place wanted to have a men's only event, and a no girls allowed club. That's FINE xD If they started out just saying it was a "Gentleman's Retreat"... I mean you'll still be criticized by some (like Augusta National is criticized for that policy) but knock yourself out! It's the sexist bullshit that's making ppl angry, and the weak "men are pigs who can't help themselves!" excuse (and sexist putdown) used to justify the big "no girls allowed" sign that is the reason this is such BS. >:O Esp since this is a culture/comm that is alrdy pretty unwelcoming to women, and your solution to the kinds of treatment female gamers deal w/ is... to just lock them out all together? -_-;;

Wanna keep girls out? Your playerbase doesn't ilke women? FINE! But dun tell us it's for our own good, and you REALLY care about misogyny. >:\ if you REALLY cared, you'd make rules against it, not BAN US like it's OUR FAULT and your male players aren't EQUALLY THINKING INTELLIGENT AND RATIONAL HUMAN BEINGS.

Ami, Trish and Zhinxy snarkle the Rape Prevention List Part 2!

2011-07-24T00:12:00.003-04:00

This is part 2 of Me, Trish and Zhinxy snarkling (snark + tackle) the Rape Prevention Tips list xD

This is Part 1 if ppl wanted to catch up :3

And awayyy we go:

[22:28] Ami: ok
[22:28] Ami: we rdy? :)
[22:28] Zhinxy: Yup
[22:28] Trish: am ready
[22:28] Ami: kk
[22:28] Trish: music is go >>
[22:28] Zhinxy: Hot glue all the fasteners on your clothes shut, it's time to avoid rape!
[22:28] Ami: so let's continue w/ the Safety In the Home
[22:28] Trish: xD
[22:29] Ami: 16. Do not depend on a chain on your door. Use a peephole to check on visitors while keeping the door locked. Call through the door if necessary.

[22:29] Zhinxy: Also duct tape and plastic sheeting, in case the rapists are radioactive
[22:29] Ami: ARE YOU REALLY MY MOTHER?
[22:29] Trish: safety in the home 1: don't hav doors, rapists love those
[22:29] Ami: xD
[22:29] Ami: Only walls!
[22:29] Ami: you can get your Sim2 controller to remove them later
[22:29] Trish: <_<
[22:29] Zhinxy: Bars on the windows. You're way more likely to be raped than start a fire if you don't smoke! (In case you do, remember: the "fireman" may be a rapist. )
[22:30] Ami: I like how peepholes are now specific to rape or somehting
[22:30] Trish: suddenly am relieved there is no rape in the sims
[22:30] Ami: or women have never heard of them
[22:30] Zhinxy: I thought it was slashers and store managers that used those.
[22:30] Zhinxy: And spies.
[22:30] Zhinxy: And people in pornos.
[22:30] Ami: xD
[22:30] Trish: shouludn't they have advice on how to distinguish rapists from non-rapists by peephole?
[22:31] Ami: look at their hair
[22:31] Zhinxy: Soon we'll have retinal scans
[22:31] Ami: if it's green they're not a rapist
[22:31] Zhinxy: call batman, though
[22:31] Trish: Arg, terrible typing. But finished my toast so back to both hands.
[22:31] Trish: Hand-cranked batsignal on every roof.
[22:31] Ami: but if batman asks you for your name
[22:31] Ami: give him initials
[22:31] Trish: Good for all emergencies.
[22:31] Ami: or he'll rape you
[22:31] Zhinxy: Careful. He might be a batrapist
[22:31] Ami: he has bat rapist spray
[22:31] Trish: Except bat infestations, he won't help with those
[22:31] Ami: he sprays you and you've been raped!
[22:32] Trish: o.o
[22:32] Trish: efficieny
[22:32] Trish: Darnit! >.<
[22:32] Trish: efficiency
[22:32] Ami: 17. Close and lock all doors and windows, even if you go to a neighbor’s or make a quick trip to the store.
[22:32] Ami: b/c if they get into your home while you're away
[22:32] Zhinxy: Don't forget your keys. The yard rapist waits for you to do that.
[22:32] Ami: they can rape... your cat!
[22:33] Ami: i always love their tips that basically are like
[22:33] Ami: the rapist will come in
[22:33] Trish: don't they have a deal running with this company that can dome your house for you?
[22:33] Ami: and lounge around waiting for you
[22:33] Trish: so when you're out, just push a button to encase your home in a plastic dome!
[22:33] Trish: plastic dome! nothing can get in or out, keeping you safe from rape.
[22:33] Ami: like the last time they said go to your neighbour
[22:33] Ami: what if your neighbour is a rapist? xD
[22:33] Trish: different neighbour
[22:33] Zhinxy: They hide in your house. Then they call you, and you call the cops, and they trace the call, and then they're like GET OUT OF THERE RIGHT NOW! THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE! And then the line goes dead, and you turn around, and in the doorway...
[22:34] Ami: XDDD
[22:34] Trish: and it's just your cat?
[22:34] Ami: and then the cat puts on the mask
[22:34] Ami: and kills you
[22:34] Zhinxy: Rapist in a cat suit.
[22:34] Trish: XD
[22:34] Ami: then rapes your dead body
[22:34] Trish: DO NOT ADOPT CATS THEY COULD BE RAPISTS IN DISGUISE
[22:34] Zhinxy: And steals your kidney
[22:34] Ami: you know how many rape jokes we've made doing this list btw? xD
[22:34] Trish: some cats wait years before making their move
[22:34] Ami: and they say feminists don't think rape is funny
[22:34] Zhinxy: Women never joke about rape!
[22:34] Trish: would die if we did
[22:35] Trish: stone dead
[22:35] Ami: some cats even die
[22:35] Trish: literally, a feminist turns to stone if she makes a rape joke
[22:35] Ami: to lure you into a false sense of security
[22:35] Ami: so you get another cat
[22:35] Ami: who rapes you
[22:35] Trish: they're like trolls in sunlight
[22:35] Zhinxy: there was this freaky cat that lived like thirty years or something
[22:35] Zhinxy: definitely a guy in a cat suit. Waiti9ng
[22:35] Ami: xD
[22:35] Trish: waiting until what? until he was old enough for it not to be statutory?
[22:35] Ami: XD
[22:35] Ami: <3
[22:36] Zhinxy: <3
[22:36] Ami: 18. Be aware of places attackers might hide, both inside and outside. Trim bushes and shrubbery so no one can hide in them.
[22:36] Ami: These could be v thin rapists!
[22:36] Trish: that sounds like a euphemism to me
[22:36] Zhinxy: 38.
[22:36] Zhinxy: There was a nearly forty year old cat
[22:36] Trish: wow
[22:36] Zhinxy: Yeah, seriously.
[22:36] Ami: that's a lot of women raped over his lifetime
[22:36] Zhinxy: she went out to power her long life with rapes.
[22:36] Zhinxy: yup
[22:36] Trish: so, topiary
[22:37] Trish: more attractive to rapists or less?
[22:37] Ami: how about if you have poison ivy?
[22:37] Ami: or if you ARE poison ivy?
[22:37] Trish: then you don't trim it
[22:37] Ami: it does sound like.. trim bush and shrubbery is a euphamism xD
[22:37] Trish: if you are poison ivy, you have more serious problems than magazines
[22:37] Ami: if they know you're a hairy feminist they might rape you!
[22:37] Zhinxy: poison ivy has to trim it, I"ve seen her costume.
[22:37] Ami: well you have batman!
[22:38] Zhinxy: And Harley Quinn...
[22:38] Ami: and they both check your mail for your name
[22:38] Trish: doesn't she have plant control? maybe that's how it works
[22:38] Ami: and hide behind bushes
[22:38] Ami: what if they're hiding in your trees?
[22:38] Zhinxy: Don't make a little topiary house for the rapist to hide in.
[22:38] Ami: like do you have to trim the branches too?
[22:38] Zhinxy: Or a treehouse.
[22:38] Zhinxy: Rapists love treehouses
[22:38] Ami: don't have bird feeders
[22:38] Ami: it attracts rapists
[22:38] Trish: so you should trim your shrubs into the shape of men you find attractive
[22:38] Ami: xD
[22:38] Zhinxy: I would so do that.
[22:39] Ami: so the fat men
[22:39] Trish: that way only attractive rapists can hide behind them
[22:39] Ami: can't hide behind them
[22:39] Ami: XD
[22:39] Ami: what if you like women?
[22:39] Zhinxy: I would also convince dates that it was the garden of the men who had disappointed me over the years.
[22:39] Ami: that's like
[22:39] Ami: the BTAS episode
[22:39] Trish: and you're the green witch?
[22:39] Zhinxy: Totally
[22:39] Trish: that sounds perfect
[22:39] Trish: now i want a yard full of shrubbery
[22:39] Ami: XD
[22:39] Ami: but then you'd also have a yard full of rapists
[22:40] Ami: they'd fight it out
[22:40] Trish: then i'd trim them too
[22:40] Ami: xDDDD
[22:40] Ami: misandrist
[22:40] Trish: what about hedge mazes? yea or nay
[22:40] Trish: i might be >_>
[22:40] Ami: they are good for attracting perseus
[22:41] Trish: in case you have a gorgon problem
[22:41] Zhinxy: Or a minotaur child from your last rape.
[22:41] Ami: yup!
[22:41] Trish: altho, keep a gorgon in your yard, turn prospective rapists to stone
[22:41] Ami: XD
[22:41] Trish: then let more shrubbery grow over them
[22:41] Ami: now THAT would be rape prevention advice
[22:41] Zhinxy: How do we avoid being raped by zeus?
[22:41] Trish: except blind rapists
[22:41] Ami: you become a man
[22:41] Trish: who there are probably a zillion of
[22:41] Trish: because, you know
[22:42] Trish: does that help?
[22:42] Zhinxy: well, that didn't help ganymede...
[22:42] Trish: well there you go
[22:42] Ami: well i meant an alpha male
[22:42] Trish: not a cup-bearer?
[22:42] Trish: does cup-bearer pay well?
[22:42] Zhinxy: it pays in ambrosia and drunken gropes from zeus.
[22:43] Trish: i think being an alpha male and not-zeus are mutually exclusive
[22:43] Zhinxy: Yeah, he was pretty much the alphaest of alphas.
[22:43] Trish: i suppose you could put up a lightning rod?
[22:43] Trish: if we're getting into zeus-proofing your home
[22:43] Zhinxy: So was hera a golddigger? Or was she all real houswives of mount olympus?
[22:44] Trish: she must have been a golddigger
[22:44] Trish: she married her brother
[22:44] Zhinxy: True that.
[22:44] Trish: oh, right.
[22:44] Trish: that's how you protect against zeus
[22:45] Trish: just be a faithful devotee of hera and she will stop him from raping you
[22:45] Trish: probably kill you too, but at least you won't be raped
[22:45] Zhinxy: Or he'll get you anyway and she'll blame you for it.
[22:45] Trish: and in conclusion, rape prevention doesn't work
[22:45] Ami: lock your door and use a peephole
[22:46] Ami: they didn't invent peepholes back then
[22:46] Ami: if they had them
[22:46] Trish: lock your door and have your body double use a peephole
[22:46] Ami: XD
[22:46] Zhinxy: If they had peepholes in ancient greece, they'd have had a much smaller pantheon.
[22:46] Trish: XD
[22:46] Ami: peeholes are a feminist invention
[22:46] Ami: it's killing off the human race
[22:47] Trish: got the witchdoctor song on now. how do you protect against people reciting that incantation?
[22:47] Trish: well, people do call them feminzazis
[22:47] Ami: duct tape
[22:47] Trish: feminazis
[22:47] Ami: let's move on
[22:47] Trish: so, species genocide, not so shocking
[22:47] Trish: kay
[22:47] Ami: this one is v topical
[22:47] Ami: and there's been a big debate baout it
[22:47] Zhinxy: carry pepper spray?
[22:47] Ami: so this is important information
[22:47] Ami: 19. Be alert when riding an elevator with an unknown man. Stand next to the control panel so that stop buttons cannot be pushed and so that you have access to emergency buttons and phone. Don’t get into an elevator if you have any doubts about the person inside.
[22:47] Zhinxy: Oh wait, is this elevators
[22:47] Zhinxy: Yup.
[22:48] Zhinxy: Wait though, if you do that, religion wins.
[22:48] Ami: xD
[22:48] Ami: that was his problem
[22:48] Zhinxy: Yup.
[22:48] Ami: he shoudlnt' ahve gotten in the elevator
[22:48] Ami: if he had doubts about the evilness of the girl inside
[22:48] Trish: she should have pressed the eject button
[22:48] Ami: being raped in an elevator tho
[22:48] Ami: like as i said
[22:48] Zhinxy: Who even talks in elevators?
[22:48] Ami: that's kinda a RLY bad place to do it
[22:49] Trish: rapists
[22:49] Ami: xD
[22:49] Ami: i mean esp if you hit the stop button
[22:49] Trish: it does seem like it
[22:49] Zhinxy: Stop being misandrist!
[22:49] Trish: never!
[22:49] Ami: at some point you hve to get OUT of the elevator
[22:49] Ami: and there'd be this HUGE LINE UP
[22:49] Ami: cuz you hit the stop button xD
[22:49] Zhinxy: They'd call the maintenance person.
[22:49] Ami: they could rape you too!
[22:50] Ami: or maybe this happens all the time (apparently) so he's okay w/ it
[22:50] Ami: "oh it's just a rapist... this happens every few days"
[22:50] Trish: so no one even notices?
[22:50] Zhinxy: And then the cable breaks and you plunge down the shaft to the secret underbasement! Where the mole people have lived for generations! And are really horny by now!
[22:50] Ami: this is what happens if you don't follow their advice
[22:51] Trish: you let him push the stop button, you get swarmed by mole people?
[22:51] Ami: i find it funny that ppl say Watson is paranoid... standing by the control panel is paranoid -_-
[22:51] Trish: WAS she standing by the control panel?
[22:51] Zhinxy: Probably not.
[22:51] Ami: she should have!
[22:51] Ami: then she'd be calmer
[22:51] Trish: maybe asking her up to his room was a ploy to get her away from it
[22:51] Zhinxy: I like to push all the buttons to annoy people!
[22:51] Trish: so he could hit the stop button
[22:51] Ami: and would have not felt her feminism clouding her mind
[22:51] Ami: and she'd have slept w/ him
[22:51] Zhinxy: Yeah, basically.
[22:52] Ami: that's a bad idea Zhinxy
[22:52] Ami: each floor it stops at
[22:52] Ami: could have a rapist
[22:52] Zhinxy: There's a rapist on every floor
[22:52] Ami: especially if the plants on that floor aren't trimmed
[22:52] Zhinxy: And every cul de sac
[22:52] Trish: like, officially stationed there?
[22:52] Zhinxy: And every ice cream shop
[22:52] Zhinxy: Yup
[22:52] Zhinxy: Rapists local 309.
[22:52] Trish: hotels have ice cream shops now?
[22:52] Ami: the rapist union is more powerful than both the gay agenda and feminist conspiracy
[22:53] Zhinxy: I'm pretty sure at some point I have been in a hotel ice cream shop...
[22:53] Trish: that's why prevention advice has to be coded like this
[22:53] Trish: so it looks ridiculous and doesn't get blocked
[22:53] Zhinxy: my god, it all makes sense now!
[22:53] Ami: xD
[22:53] Zhinxy: Also make a fan with your keys while you're sleeping.
[22:53] Ami: 20. Do not spend unnecessary time alone in apartment laundry rooms.
[22:53] Ami: what's unnecessary?
[22:54] Trish: how much time is necessary?
[22:54] Ami: what else do ppl do besides laundry?
[22:54] Zhinxy: You have five seconds to run in, get the clothes, and clean the lint trap!~
[22:54] Ami: if you're NOT alone, you might talk to ppl
[22:54] Ami: xD
[22:54] Trish: can i just buy new clothes so i don't spend any time in there?
[22:54] Zhinxy: Well, people have sex in there in movies I've seen
[22:54] Ami: this advice is a lot like if we lived in Final Fantasy world
[22:54] Zhinxy: Well not alone, usually, unless it's a really crappy cable movie.
[22:54] Ami: if you spend too much time walking you will encounter enemies
[22:54] Trish: hate random encounters
[22:54] Ami: it could be a fantasy masturbation scene!
[22:54] Zhinxy: Or it's like a pvp server
[22:55] Ami: I rape u
[22:55] Zhinxy: Careful about straying into alliance territory!
[22:55] Trish: surely it can't be worse than talking to them?
[22:55] Ami: fuck off loser
[22:55] Ami: n00b i rape u good
[22:55] Zhinxy: kek
[22:56] Ami: 21. If you are considering a burglar alarm, check with the police department on home security.
[22:56] Trish: in case the security company is a rapist front?
[22:56] Ami: yup!
[22:56] Zhinxy: Yeah, pretty much.
[22:56] Ami: i think i've heard this sorta thing before
[22:56] Ami: that rapists set up the systems
[22:56] Ami: so they can break in
[22:56] Ami: and rape you
[22:56] Zhinxy: Do they ever recommend dogs? Oh, wait, that's right, rapists are prepared to deal with dogs
[22:56] Ami: rape isn't just a crime, it's a lifestyle
[22:56] Trish: a very extensive one apparently o.o
[22:57] Ami: as we said before, just having a dog or an alarm
[22:57] Zhinxy: Do they ever recommend... Okay, I know I"m the only libertarian allowed to hang out with the feminists cause I don't usually bring this up but... Are we allowed to, you know, buy a firearm?
[22:57] Ami: will deter ppl
[22:57] Trish: so what sort of security system are we talking about here?
[22:57] Ami: cuz they're not out to rape YOU SPECIFICALLY
[22:57] Trish: just a sticker on your front window, or bottomless pits by the door?
[22:57] Zhinxy: Yeah, seriously.
[22:57] Ami: or even break into your home specifically to steal things
[22:57] Zhinxy: Moat
[22:57] Zhinxy: ACID moat.
[22:57] Ami: spikes
[22:57] Trish: you can't buy firearms, those will rape you
[22:57] Ami: they kill Megaman
[22:57] Ami: women don't use guns
[22:57] Trish: i want a dog that fires spikes out its mouth now
[22:58] Zhinxy: Women scream when they see guns and run away.
[22:58] Ami: i want a spike that fires dogs
[22:58] Zhinxy: crying
[22:58] Trish: be prepared to deal with THAT
[22:58] Ami: ok so we're done w/ the home
[22:58] Trish: then we should buy guns to acclimate
[22:58] Ami: now we must learn car safety!
[22:58] Ami: AWARENESS IN YOUR CAR
[22:58] Trish: otherwise a rapist could just show a gun and autowin
[22:58] Trish: i am aware of my car. it has four wheels on the outside.
[22:59] Ami: and a rapist on the inside?
[22:59] Trish: also doors
[22:59] Zhinxy: We're probably allowed to get a dog FOR THE CAR
[22:59] Zhinxy: cause it's suddenly practical
[22:59] Trish: is it true that is a rapist bites you then you become a rapist?
[22:59] Ami: or as a car
[22:59] Ami: instead of a car
[22:59] Trish: *if ~.~
[22:59] Ami: only if he's hot
[22:59] Trish: one of those new-fangled riding dogs, then
[22:59] Zhinxy: Get a 90 plus pound German Shepherd from East German Police bloodlines and teach him to lie down in the back seat until he's needed!
[22:59] Ami: xD
[22:59] Trish: XD
[23:00] Trish: even if it takes years
[23:00] Ami: 1. As you walk on your way to your car, look underneath to see if anyone is hiding. Check the interior of your car before getting in. Consider purchasing a small flashlight for checking at night.
[23:00] Ami: this is v criminal minds
[23:00] Trish: i only look under my car because i'm worried one of our cats could sleep there
[23:00] Ami: honestly, if I'm worried about rapists being under my car
[23:00] Ami: then i would jus get in
[23:00] Ami: and start it up
[23:00] Ami: and back out
[23:00] Zhinxy: Yeah.
[23:00] Ami: sucks to be him
[23:00] Trish: and hope for noise?
[23:01] Trish: okay, sure, check the seats with a flashlight
[23:01] Ami: i like how rapists will break into your car
[23:01] Trish: but what if it is daytime? or he's invisible?
[23:01] Ami: and hide in your backseat
[23:01] Ami: and just... wait there forever
[23:01] Trish: like a limpet mine!
[23:01] Zhinxy: Put down the nail studded mat under your car to deter rapists. REMEMBER TO REMOVE IT AND RETURN IT TO THE TRUNK BEFORE YOU BACK UP.
[23:01] Ami: it's the whole idea of rapists don't want to rape women, they want to rape YOU
[23:01] Ami: break out the flamethrower
[23:01] Ami: and give a couple shots
[23:01] Ami: under your car
[23:01] Trish: don't have a backseat
[23:01] Ami: fill it with dogs
[23:02] Ami: as many as you can
[23:02] Trish: i had mine removed specifically because of this
[23:02] Zhinxy: Well, we have all this entertainment on our cell phones now. Rapists can be much more patient than the were in the past.
[23:02] Trish: now i only worry about vampires
[23:02] Trish: *sporlfe*
[23:02] Ami: listen carefully
[23:02] Ami: if you hear an ipod playing
[23:02] Zhinxy: lul still w8ting for victim.
[23:02] Ami: under your car
[23:02] Trish: or angry birds
[23:02] Trish: especially angry birds
[23:02] Ami: XD
[23:02] Zhinxy: I knew there was somethign about angry birds!
[23:02] Ami: "@rapeysteve wait, are you waiting under my car?
[23:03] Trish: what if your rapist straps himself to the underside of the car, sideshow bob style, to strike when you reach your destination?
[23:03] Ami: drive over cactuses
[23:03] Ami: and put rakes on your lawn
[23:03] Trish: that's even better than trimming things!
[23:04] Ami: 2. Have your car serviced regularly to avoid breakdown.
[23:04] Zhinxy: What about the waxer? Will they rape us at the waxer?
[23:04] Ami: that's good advice in general
[23:04] Zhinxy: car OR trimming the hedge...
[23:04] Ami: but not to avoid rape
[23:04] Ami: so are rapists just waiting around
[23:04] Zhinxy: Yup
[23:04] Ami: hoping a car will breakdown?
[23:04] Trish: how does a car breakdown get you raped?
[23:04] Trish: EVERYWHERE?
[23:04] Zhinxy: They hang out by car assistance phones.
[23:04] Trish: oh, okay
[23:04] Trish: that makes sense
[23:05] Zhinxy: They're getting more desperate, just as the rapists with cell phones are getting better at waiting
[23:05] Ami: each phone has a rapist staked out
[23:05] Trish: better plan
[23:05] Trish: keep a motorcycle in your boot
[23:05] Zhinxy: The telegraph rapists, I don't even know what they do anymore
[23:05] Ami: sometimes they run into each other
[23:05] Ami: "sorry man, didn't know this one was yours"
[23:05] Trish: then if your car breaks down you can drive to safety
[23:05] Zhinxy: Is there an onstar rapist yet>?
[23:05] Trish: and call for assistance from behind your peephole
[23:05] Zhinxy: He pretends to be the voice of your onstar, and he's actually directing you to the rape room?
[23:05] Ami: yup!
[23:05] Ami: turn left here
[23:05] Trish: altho, always check your motorcycle for rapists on the back seat
[23:05] Ami: turn right
[23:06] Ami: take off your pants
[23:06] Zhinxy: have they done the don't wear skirts advice on this one?
[23:06] Trish: "wait, what is thi-?"
[23:06] Trish: "i said take off your pants"
[23:06] Ami: no we're not there yet!
[23:06] Trish: o.o
[23:06] Zhinxy: NOOOOOOO!
[23:06] Ami: stop readnng ahead
[23:06] Zhinxy: oops.
[23:06] Ami: you act like you've heard rape prevention advice your entire life!
[23:06] Ami: we're women!
[23:07] Ami: this is NEW
[23:07] Ami: we're NAIVE
[23:07] Zhinxy: Maybe this is proof of reincarnation...
[23:07] Trish: Preincarnation.
[23:07] Zhinxy: I feel like I've heard it, but I can't have1
[23:07] Trish: Because you couldn't have read this before...
[23:07] Ami: bee-incarnation
[23:07] Ami: b/c women have no idea of rape prevention advice
[23:07] Trish: what about your seats? can rapists hide inside the lining?
[23:07] Trish: although actually
[23:07] Trish: on a more sensible note(!)
[23:07] Ami: stop being paranoid trish
[23:08] Zhinxy: Rapists are like chameleons.
[23:08] Trish: what about dosing your car seat with anaesthetic?
[23:08] Ami: you know most rapists hide inside the glove box
[23:08] Trish: that could be a real problem
[23:08] Ami: then you can also knock out your friends!
[23:08] Ami: and rape them
[23:08] Trish: you check under the car, in the back seat and the boot, looks clear
[23:08] Trish: then you sit in the driver's seat and bam! unconscious
[23:08] Ami: i think trish is actually a rapist
[23:09] Trish: should probably replace your car interior after each use
[23:09] Zhinxy: Pretty much assume any space is, TARDIS like, capable of holding a rapist. Not that the TARDIS has a rapist in it. Outside of fanfic.
[23:09] Trish: am not! i'm just vigilant is all
[23:09] Ami: after giving me advice to fill my car w/ anesthetic
[23:09] Trish: nooo
[23:10] Trish: i was warning you rapists might do it
[23:10] Trish: i've seen criminal minds
[23:10] Zhinxy: beware experimental labs that might rip a hole in the space time continuum, causing rapists from beyond to pour out.
[23:10] Ami: xD
[23:10] Trish: these people are dangerous and crafty
[23:10] Zhinxy: Beware the rapist in the mirror!
[23:10] Ami: the sad part is trish
[23:10] Trish: that's why i don't support scientific research
[23:10] Ami: you sound like some trolls we've had
[23:10] Ami: "i'm just warning you! they're dangerous and crafty!"
[23:11] Ami: so crafty that wearing a sweatshirt will foil them!
[23:11] Zhinxy: overalls
[23:11] Zhinxy: they can't cut the straps on the overalls!
[23:11] Trish: i like sweatshirts
[23:11] Trish: they're cosy
[23:11] Ami: soak your clothes in anesthetic
[23:11] Trish: but i'm not allowed to wear them :(
[23:11] Zhinxy: no ponytails, they can grab those!
[23:11] Ami: 3. Keep a flare and a CALL POLICE sign in your trunk to use in case of emergency.
[23:11] Ami: wouldn't that attract rapists?
[23:12] Ami: again this is good advice for all sorts of stuff
[23:12] Ami: that isn't about preventing rape
[23:12] Zhinxy: Yeah.
[23:12] Ami: also apaprently cellphones don't exist in this world
[23:12] Ami: i mean first we got the telegram advice
[23:12] Ami: now this
[23:12] Zhinxy: Well, it really is like there are packs of rapists roaming.
[23:12] Ami: XD
[23:12] Ami: if rapists are hiding in your car
[23:12] Ami: then they will take your flare
[23:12] Zhinxy: They're looking for anybody that gets broken off from the herd!
[23:12] Ami: and threaten you w/ it
[23:13] Zhinxy: The only peace with the rapist is at the oasis.
[23:13] Ami: keep a BFG in your car
[23:13] Zhinxy: They have to drink too
[23:13] Trish: those things use a lot of cells tho
[23:13] Zhinxy: Mount machine guns and ejector seats
[23:13] Ami: Now 007... this is not a toy.
[23:18] Ami: 4. Keep a cell phone charged and in your car. If you do not have a cell phone, make sure that you have a calling card or change for a public phone.
[23:18] Ami: now suddenly the world has cellphones
[23:19] Trish: what if i need a phone when i am out of my car?
[23:19] Zhinxy: It's groovy and hip, this list
[23:19] Ami: these are good tips to not get stranded if your car breaks down
[23:19] Zhinxy: NO, you need a special car cell phone
[23:19] Trish: maybe they think 'cell phone' means 'car phone'
[23:19] Zhinxy: I bet they do
[23:19] Ami: how does this prevent rape?
[23:19] Trish: you can call someone and document it?
[23:19] Zhinxy: You'll have time to dial help, they'll see you have a phone and run away
[23:20] Ami: XD
[23:20] Ami: it causes brain cancer!
[23:20] Ami: RAPE ISN'T WORTH THIS
[23:20] Trish: you can call for help without leaving your protective shell
[23:20] Trish: then emergency services rapes you
[23:20] Zhinxy: You can distract them by saying you downloaded the latest episode of game of thrones, and has he watched that yet, oh man, it's SO good, even if you aren't into that fantasy stuff!
[23:21] Trish: but, there's rape in that!
[23:21] Trish: it might give him ideas
[23:21] Zhinxy: Well, yeah, you're making him feel comfortable, cause you're appealing to his interests.
[23:21] Trish: Ohhhh
[23:21] Zhinxy: Then you can slip out and carefully sneak away
[23:21] Trish: Sensible.
[23:21] Ami: xD
[23:22] Trish: Maybe steal his car.
[23:22] Zhinxy: do rapists HAVE CARS?
[23:22] Zhinxy: Oh, shit, they can just drive right into your house.
[23:22] Trish: they have OUR cars
[23:22] Zhinxy: we're fucked, people
[23:22] Ami: rapists don't need cars
[23:22] Trish: alright, we need a bunker
[23:22] Ami: they have the cars of women they rape
[23:22] Zhinxy: what about planes? Do they have the power of flight?
[23:22] Ami: like they don't apparently have homes
[23:22] Ami: they live in ours
[23:22] Zhinxy: rape vans.
[23:22] Ami: only if the pilot is female
[23:23] Trish: so they're essentially full-time women-parasites?
[23:23] Trish: hiding in your home, hiding in your car...
[23:23] Trish: they probably do your job when you're on break too
[23:23] Ami: hiding in the hairs of your cat
[23:23] Trish: the dastards
[23:24] Ami: these two are both short
[23:24] Ami: so i'll do them both
[23:24] Ami: 5. Keep your gas tank between half and full.
6. Keep all valuables locked in the trunk.
[23:24] Ami: just in case you get into a surprise high speed chase w/ a rapist?
[23:24] Ami: o_O
[23:24] Ami: keeping valuables in the trunk is good to avoid having your car broken into
[23:24] Zhinxy: Okay, are these robbers, or rapists, or are rapists attracted to shinies?
[23:25] Ami: have they seen the price of gas lately
[23:25] Zhinxy: are we allowed to have car stereos?
[23:25] Ami: they'll break into your car
[23:25] Ami: and then realize how comfy it is
[23:25] Zhinxy: and dogless
[23:25] Ami: and how sniffing the upholstery makes them sleepy
[23:25] Trish: What happens if I keep my tank full?
[23:25] Ami: and then they'll take a nap
[23:25] Trish: Is it something bad?
[23:25] Ami: and you'll get back to your car
[23:25] Ami: they'll wake up
[23:25] Ami: and rape you
[23:25] Ami: then you attract the attention of rapey gas attendents
[23:25] Ami: who find women who are into full tanks hot
[23:25] Trish: Are they sure they mean ALL your valuables?
[23:26] Trish: this is worse than playing i wanna be the guy
[23:26] Zhinxy: Not to mention the guy who works the counter at the gas station convenience store.
[23:26] Trish: Hey I saw one of those guys once.
[23:26] Zhinxy: The tacky lighters, and smell of staleish coffee have driven him wild for the scent of a woman.
[23:27] Zhinxy: Yeah, what about never go into gas station restrooms... That's GREAT advice, not specifically about rape. So why not throw that one in there.
[23:27] Trish: If I keep a Gutenberg Bible locked in the boot of my car, will that really protect me from rape?
[23:28] Ami: it might from demons
[23:28] Ami: keep holy water
[23:28] Ami: and stakes too
[23:28] Zhinxy: Well, demons do love to rape you
[23:28] Ami: stop watching so much hentai Zhinxy
[23:28] Zhinxy: Also, don't be a shrine maiden.
[23:28] Ami: xD
[23:32] Ami: 7. If your car runs out of gas or breaks down on the freeway, pull over as close to a call box as possible. Turn your head lamps on and raise the hood of your car. If you have a cell phone, stay in the car and make your calls. If not, then use the emergency phone and once you are done, get back into the car and lock the doors. If you have to pull over on the street, try to pull over close to something that is open 24 hours, such as 7/11 store, etc.. If you have a cell phone, stay in the car and make your calls. If there is a pay phone that is visible from the store, it is okay to use it, but if you have to use a phone that is in a dark area or is not visible from the store, go inside and ask to use the store’s phone. If someone stops to offer help, slip them change through a crack in the window and ask them to call the police or nearest service station if necessary.
[23:32] Ami: this one is looooonnngggg
[23:32] Zhinxy: change through a crack in the window...
[23:32] Ami: this is the rapists have staked out their 200M of highway thing
[23:32] Trish: "Turn your head lamps on and raise the hood of your car. If you have a cell phone, stay in the car and make your calls."
what order do i do this in?
[23:32] Ami: it's actually unsafe to stay in the car isn't it?
[23:33] Ami: in case you get rear ended
[23:33] Zhinxy: They put up a sign. Cleaned by the Westchester Lions Club, Rapist: Jack Shetterly.
[23:33] Ami: xD
[23:33] Trish: they get credit for that?
[23:33] Trish: if you don't have a phone, get out of your car. if you have a phone, stay in your car.
[23:33] Ami: If you have to pull over on the street, try to pull over close to something that is open 24 hours, such as 7/11 store, etc..
[23:33] Ami: assuming this is late at night
[23:33] Ami: as opposed to? o_O
[23:34] Ami: someplace that is closed....
[23:34] Trish: no, even in daytime
[23:34] Zhinxy: call the police or nearest service station IF NECESSARY
[23:34] Ami: this is the "women have no idea what we're doing" thing
[23:34] Zhinxy: So, it might be fine for you to just live in your car?
[23:34] Ami: why not?
[23:34] Ami: rapists do
[23:34] Trish: only if you always park next to a 7-11
[23:34] Zhinxy: should we keep a three week water and food supply.
[23:34] Zhinxy: THAT'S right
[23:34] Trish: plus, all your stuff is in your car
[23:34] Trish: apparently
[23:34] Trish: that's where you keep your phone and your valuables
[23:34] Trish: how about i just drive a vault around?
[23:35] Ami: you don't?
[23:35] Trish: can't afford it :(
[23:35] Ami: rapists rly do just lurk around every shadow
[23:35] Ami: in this wold
[23:35] Ami: *world
[23:35] Ami: i think you're more in danger of being mugged/robbed
[23:35] Trish: or eaten by shadows
[23:36] Ami: 8. Have your keys in your hand ready to use before you go outside. Fumbling in your purse en route to the car or at the door provides a would-be assailant the opportunity to approach you.
[23:36] Trish: So, they're boos?
[23:36] Trish: Rapists can only approach when you are distracted and not looking at them?
[23:37] Ami: yus
[23:37] Zhinxy: It IS schrodingers rapist!
[23:37] Zhinxy: they're quantum!
[23:37] Ami: they're just all kinda hanging around you
[23:37] Trish: Totally quantum.
[23:37] Ami: the sad part is
[23:37] Ami: i've actually BEEN approached
[23:37] Ami: going to my car
[23:37] Ami: but it was by a tranny chaser who had seen me before and worked at the store -_-
[23:37] Zhinxy: We aren't allowed to fan our keys in this one. Too proactive. Just hold them in our weak lady fingers.
[23:37] Zhinxy: *hugs*
[23:37] Trish: eefgh
[23:37] Ami: yup
[23:37] Ami: not put them between our fingers
[23:37] Ami: like i do >_>
[23:37] Trish: For use as actual keys.
[23:38] Trish: or have a set of knives made up to look like keys
[23:38] Ami: are rapists generally hanging around parking lots?
[23:38] Trish: they don't have cars, so why wouldn't they?
[23:38] Ami: rapists that are coming out of other women's cars
[23:38] Ami: women who didn't take this list's advice
[23:39] Ami: 9. Park in well lit areas near your destination.
10. Always lock your car when you leave it, even if you are planning to be gone only a short time.
11. Avoid leaving personal objects in open view.
[23:39] Zhinxy: when we say serial rapist, we MEAN serial.
[23:40] Ami: they lurk in shadows!
[23:40] Ami: they're like deep throat
[23:40] Zhinxy: They've been known to jump from car window car window
[23:40] Trish: o.O
[23:40] Trish: how do they do that?
[23:40] Ami: again great advice to avoid theft
[23:40] Ami: they're gremlins!
[23:40] Zhinxy: Okay, so is it like, personal objects. If they hold something with your vibrations they can find you?
[23:40] Ami: well
[23:40] Trish: this does nothing to protect against rapists who, like the t-1000, can ooze through crcks
[23:40] Zhinxy: Or are they like bloodhounds and just need a scent trail?
[23:40] Ami: they can rape you by knowing your name
[23:40] Ami: remember?
[23:40] Trish: *cracks
[23:40] Ami: so if they see personal objects
[23:40] Ami: they can track you down
[23:40] Ami: or cast spells
[23:41] Ami: or soething
[23:41] Trish: so if you leave a book in the front seat of your car
[23:41] Ami: *something
[23:41] Trish: they can ask at the bookstore for who bought it
[23:41] Trish: and then get your address
[23:41] Trish: and next thing you know, BAM! out from behind your shrubbery
[23:41] Ami: it's like L&O
[23:41] Zhinxy: Even a third level Rapist can cast Bigby's Groping Hand.
[23:41] Ami: "we can't reveal our credit card info
[23:41] Ami: "WANT ME TO GET A WARRANT!?"
[23:41] Ami: "oh ok, here you go"
[23:41] Zhinxy: Yup
[23:42] Trish: wait, can anyone do that?
[23:42] Ami: oh zhinxy
[23:42] Ami: you asked this earlier
[23:42] Trish: all these years i've been invading ppl's privacy the hard way :(
[23:42] Ami: they have your bases covered
[23:42] Ami: don't worry :3
[23:42] Ami: 12. Take pull-out radios with you. They can be easily stolen, even if you lock them in your trunk. If your radio is not a pull-out model, consider purchasing a fake panel to cover the radio.
[23:42] Zhinxy: But what does this have to do with rape?
[23:42] Trish: did we get a misprint with the theft-protection list mixed up?
[23:43] Ami: i think they do...
[23:43] Ami: conflate the two
[23:43] Ami: or... i dunno
[23:43] Zhinxy: If they have the slot where your radio used to be to rape, they'll be spent before you get there!
[23:43] Ami: i guess it's again if they think your car is a target
[23:43] Ami: then you'll be a target?
[23:43] Trish: "Score, another radio stolen! Hey, this looks like a lady-radio. May as well hide under the seat and rape her."
[23:43] Ami: yup!
[23:43] Ami: xD
[23:43] Zhinxy: It's turned to soft rock!
[23:43] Ami: XD
[23:43] Ami: i'm safe
[23:43] Ami: i'm always on sports radio
[23:43] Trish: perfect cover
[23:44] Ami: so
[23:44] Zhinxy: late at night I listen to Coast to Coast. I'm gonna get raped by aliens.
[23:44] Ami: you lug around a car radio?
[23:44] Ami: with you?
[23:44] Trish: for self-defence, ya
[23:44] Ami: this is gonna be great on dates
[23:44] Zhinxy: I pay for sirius dammit!
[23:44] Zhinxy: I'm getting my money's worth!!!!
[23:44] Trish: For self-defence?
[23:44] Zhinxy: You gonna finish those peas?
[23:44] Ami: oh god.. coast to coast
[23:44] Ami: they're more grounded in reality
[23:44] Ami: than this list
[23:44] Zhinxy: They ARE
[23:45] Trish: isn't that the show with the moon hoaxers and all that?
[23:45] Zhinxy: Oh yeah
[23:45] Zhinxy: It was great when art bell hosted it.
[23:45] Zhinxy: The new guy, George Noory is nowhere as good.
[23:45] Ami: yeah
[23:45] Ami: they have it in toronto
[23:45] Ami: when i had the old car w/ the broken radio i was forced to listen to it at night xD
[23:46] Zhinxy: XD
[23:46] Ami: and yet it's not as paranoid as this list..
[23:46] Trish: I've only listened to the one recording where they had Phil Plait on.
[23:46] Zhinxy: The best thing in the noory years was when people called in and related the plot of half life as something happening at their workplace.
[23:46] Trish: Although I think the illuminati corrupted my copy after a while
[23:46] Trish: it got weird
[23:46] Ami: xD
[23:46] Ami: 13. Be aware of anyone in the vicinity of your car in a parking lot. If a van has parked next to your car, enter your car from the other side. Vans are frequently used for abduction.
[23:47] Zhinxy: I told you! rape vans!
[23:47] Ami: why are they so obsessed w/ kidnapping and raping ME!?
[23:47] Trish: what if my car doesn't have another side?
[23:47] Ami: what'd I do to them?
[23:47] Trish: shouldn't police stop all vans as a matter of course?
[23:47] Ami: hiding in my house
[23:47] Ami: hiding in my car
[23:47] Zhinxy: I had a van once
[23:47] Trish: since apparently the main use of vans is abduction
[23:47] Ami: staking out my car
[23:47] Zhinxy: WHAT IF YOU HAVE A VAN?
[23:47] Trish: who did you steal?
[23:47] Ami: if this van's a rocking, please come a knocking?
[23:47] Ami: there could be rapin' a happenin'
[23:47] Zhinxy: What if the van has a wizard, or a tiger on it?
[23:47] Trish: schrodinger's wiztiger?
[23:47] Ami: what if the van is an autobot?
[23:48] Trish: then you're in worse danger
[23:48] Ami: holy crap
[23:48] Ami: the car safety list
[23:48] Ami: is LONG
[23:48] Ami: we're not even halfway through!
[23:48] Zhinxy: rapists love cars
[23:48] Trish: confined space, it's like a sideways elevator
[23:48] Ami: xD
[23:48] Trish: make sure to keep your finger on the emergency stop button as you drive
[23:48] Ami: don't ask a woman out at 4am in her car
[23:48] Zhinxy: They get a special edition of Car and Driver with pictures of frightened scantily clad drivers alongside safety features.
[23:49] Ami: esp if you're not supposed to be in her car
[23:49] Ami: you sit in the car
[23:49] Ami: a guy approaches you from the backseat, hiding
[23:49] Trish: looking unobtrusive
[23:49] Ami: "hey wanna cometo my room and get a coffee?"
[23:49] Zhinxy: Should you drive a two seater?
[23:49] Ami: get a smart car
[23:49] Zhinxy: Oh, well, if he asks you for coffee, he's just a socially awkward nerd.
[23:49] Ami: XD
[23:51] Ami: 14. Keep your doors locked and windows rolled up far enough to stop a probing hand, especially in stop-and-go traffic. Keep your car in gear at stop lights.
[23:51] Ami: this seems like a ridic way
[23:51] Ami: to rape somebody or assault them
[23:51] Zhinxy: The thing from adams family is on the sex offenders list
[23:51] Ami: esp since you could lose a hand
[23:51] Zhinxy: He died... BUT THE HAND SURVIVED.
[23:51] Trish: keep your window open enough to let in a probing hand
[23:51] Ami: be careful, lots of rapists stake out intersections!
[23:51] Zhinxy: THE HAND THAT LIVED! TO RAPE!
[23:51] Trish: then roll it up quickly!
[23:52] Ami: xD
[23:52] Ami: lace your window tops
[23:52] Ami: w/ diamond dust
[23:52] Zhinxy: invisible razor wire!
[23:52] Trish: oooh, nasty
[23:52] Trish: i approve
[23:52] Ami: we need a reverse list
[23:52] Ami: watch out for women with rolled down windows
[23:52] Ami: where they could stick out a gun
[23:52] Zhinxy: In fact, just have that strung across between the sequins at your next vajazzling. razor wire. good stuff.
[23:52] Ami: and shoot you cuz they're a man hating feminist
[23:53] Ami: you don't know with those crazy women
[23:53] Trish: razor wire: foolproof contraceptive
[23:53] Zhinxy: true!
[23:53] Ami: 15. Be familiar with your own frequently travelled routes. Know the location of 24-hour businesses and of police departments. Vary your route home.
[23:53] Ami: o_O
[23:53] Zhinxy: I think that's about all I can do for tonight. I've been getting headaches
[23:53] Zhinxy: :-(
[23:53] Ami: ok
[23:53] Ami: *hugs*
[23:53] Zhinxy: They are following you. YOU .
[23:53] Zhinxy: PERSONALLY
[23:53] Ami: they are
[23:53] Ami: why would varying your route home help?
[23:53] Trish: alright. start with 15 next time :)
[23:53] Zhinxy: yey!
[23:53] Ami: you're in your car
[23:54] Ami: not walking home
[23:54] Trish: then they will just learn all your routes home
[23:54] Zhinxy: it's not a campus
[23:54] Ami: xD
[23:54] Ami: ok we'll end it here :D
[23:54] Trish: is good place to stop
[23:54] Trish: this has been fun

Remains of female warrior vikings found! Feminists found to have gone back in time to plant evidence! xD

2011-07-23T02:10:00.005-04:00

There were way more female vikings than we thought, and they got buried with their swords, too

OMG female vikings! xD

Not that it rly surprises ppl, but it's nice to have proof and something to show the annoying sexist fantasy fans who always argue "HISTORICAL ACCURACY!" (without actually knowing history) about sexism/rape/etc to justify problematic writing in fantasy fiction -_- Not that we SHOULD be arguing on that vein (it's still on the writer after all, and it's pretty dishonest to pretend that they felt FORCED to include problematic elements b/c of "historical accuracy" when they just included a dragon) but good ammo nonetheless :3

Mind you... my OTHER response is this:

They weren't actually warriors. They were the wives who divorced warriors and took all of their swords and armor in the settlement, leaving them defenseless and to be killed off. I'm pretty sure the graves they were buried in were meant for men too, but they seduced the burial ppl ahead of time, and had the male corpses tossed into the ocean.

>_>

XD

YOU ALL KNOW IT'S TRUE!

I don't want your false pity Barbara Kay >:o I'm "tortured" b/c of attitudes like yours.

2011-07-21T15:44:00.007-04:00

Barbara Kay opens her mouth on trans issues, nothing good comes out

Not that it should be surprising... it's Barbara Kay -_-;; She's SURPRISINGLY circumspect for the way she normally writes actually.. it's like she's afraid to actually say everything she thinks about trans ppl xD But I think the ending is pretty clear, she misses the days when gender roles were heavily entrenched and cross dressing was only a way to further entrench them, and now cross dressing is a way to make ppl into trans ppl! (or something >_>) Also, the parents did not ENCOURAGE Jazz to dress as a girl, they let him dress however he wanted, and he liked having his hair in pigtails -_-;;;

Also she seems to be hedging... >:\ She's implying that there's a conspiracy out there to indoctrinate children into being trans, and forcing children to be trans when they're not. But then she pretends to be all "no no I'm not being transphobic, b/c I believe they DO exist! They just should be pitied!" >_<;; (cue the ablism too and the homophobia >:\ )

Gender identity disorder, or transgenderism, afflicts from 0.25 to 1.0% of the population. Cher and Sonny Bono’s daughter Chastity — now a man, Chaz — is a well-known example of the condition. Reacting to pressures from ideologues, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), the “psychiatrist’s bible,” now in draft for its fifth incarnation, is renaming the condition as “gender dysphoria,” which relieves the condition of any pejorative association.

So, soon I won’t be permitted to use the word “afflicts” or have the right to feel sorry for people suspended between a male and a female identity. The gay-rights movement has wrongly appropriated gender dysphoria as a variant of alternative sexuality. Transgenderism is now the new “civil rights” battle (in fact the July 14 cover of The New Republic magazine features a young person (looks male, is female) and suggests exactly that in the caption).

Gays are doing the transgendered no favours by taking them under their political wing. Biological homelessness — “gender identity disorder” in the jargon — is a very real, biologically rooted condition, but it is nothing to celebrate or encourage. A gay man or a lesbian woman may be perfectly comfortable with his or her sex, but a transgendered boy or girl — whether their sexuality tends to the heterosexual or the homosexual — is a tortured soul, at least before modern medicine can provide him or her with a body that fits their identity. True compassion would call for more medical research into how such misery can be avoided.

One is not allowed to say that nowadays, of course. One is not permitted to feel sorry for anyone with a “diverse” sexuality. Times have changed. The once-bright line between the sexes — while still there in reality for 99% of us — has, in the interest of compassion for and solidarity with a tiny minority, been banished in gender-correct discourse.

Oh STFU... we dun want your pity... or feeling "sorry" for us. >:O Wanna know why my life had "misery"? B/c I was beaten up and bullied for being a non-conforming child >:\ Because of these ideas of "boys don't cry" (I cried, I got beaten up b/c ppl wanted to see me cry more) or how ppl should act >:\ B/c I had NO idea that transitioning was an option... and felt like a freak for feeling the way I did >:o B/c the only messages I got on trans ppl in society were pity and mockery from types like you, and on Jerry Springer, so I didn't know that I could transition and live as a woman >:O B/c after/during transitioning, I was stopped and held by a security guard in order for him to out me in public so everybody could know that I was trans >:o Where I've literally had to run b/c ppl realized I was trans on the street, shouted at me, and moved towards me :\ Where a police officer stopped me and wouldn't let me go until I explained to him "what" I am and "why do you do this? do you get off on it?" and etc etc.. or my friends who have been kicked out onto the street by their families b/c of transphobia and ignorance and fear of gender non-conformity >:O

Or the many trans ppl who are killed every year simply b/c they're trans. We don't want your pity. We want you to GET A F-ING CLUE.

True compassion would call for more medical research into how such misery can be avoided.

No. True compassion would be to advocate for children NOT to have go to thru this s-... to fight for easier access for ppl to be able to transition earlier... and more education so kids know they're not abnormal, or freaks.. :\ And to fight AGAINST gender roles and AGAINST punishing ppl for not conforming to them (esp children) and NOT for pushing MORE gender roles and encouraging parents to FEAR their kids exploring their identities! >:O That's TRUE compassion. Not obsessing w/ ways to "cure" us while advocating for a return to a world that would be even harder for trans and genderqueer ppl and gender non-conforming cis ppl >:O

I don't see a "bright line" between the genders. What I see a "bright line" between you and being a person who truly cares about trans ppl >:\

edit: If this column offends you as much it offends me, don't let your voice go unheard!

Write to Barbara Kay at: bkay@videotron.ca

Or send a letter to the National Post

Let them and her know wtf is wrong w/ what she just said >:\

Sometimes, you just don't know >:|

2011-07-21T01:20:00.009-04:00

I was thinking about this today, after yet another guy got rly, uncomfortably, close to me and said something to me :\

A couple of days ago, I was out (it's RLY RLY RLY hot right now, tmrw it's gonna be the hottest it's been since the 1940s) and a guy came up to me (I was w/ my friend shopping) on the street, started veering into me and walked RIGHT INTO MY FACE, and whispered "I can see your belly button"... and gave me a creepy leer/smile. It was frightening and creepy as f- >:O

Then today, again, RLY RLY hot... and yeah again I was wearing shorts and a small shirt (a halter today, a tied up t-shirt last time, I dare you to victim blame me >:\ )

A guy approached me as I was walking w/ my friend and got right in my face again.. he slowed down too.... I always can tell when something's about to happen, but you never know what to do... esp in the middle of a crowded street.. but you can tell by body language, by them looking at you, knowing that they've "targeted" you... and what are they going to do? :\ that's what I realize is my biggest fear... I dunno! Today it was just a guy who came up to me and got rly close to me and said something I couldn't hear b/c I immediately started to walk/run away :\ but other times, ppl have tried to grope me, or HAVE groped me.. slapped my butt... tried to touch me, grabbed my arm... try to lick me... etc :\

it's just... you don't know :\ and that thought rly hit home when I was thinking about it today.... and what ppl don't get about why Rebecca Watson might have been creeped out or worried :\ B/c the thing is, we DO notice these things and we KNOW when a guy is following us, or looking at us, about when they're about to "make a move" but we have no idea WHAT that will be :\

That's something some ppl JUST can't understand, or WON'T understand :\ That it's not just an either/or... we're not either safe or not... :\ and we can't mindread! When a guy starts to "home in" on us... whether following us, or veering towards us, slowing down to intersect us... staring at us and then moving closer... we don't know what's going to happen next! It doesn't HAVE to be rape to be sexual assault, or worried if it will be :\ Each time, I dashed away... b/c times I didn't, sometimes ppl touched me... sometimes they don't... I don't care if it offends ppl that I think they're creepy and leave... but I'd rather NOT be touched again... I think that's fair right? >:o

And that's the thing.. it happens. It happens A LOT MORE than ppl might even think it happens :\ And the thing is a lot of women are ACUTELY aware of when guys are staring at us and when they start moving in :\ (and it's contextual too... if you're in a place where women are likely to harass or molest you, then you become acutely aware of women moving towards you too... ) And you ... just don't know. And I'm sorry that I don't give everybody the benefit of the doubt and allow myself to be touched (and in MY case, triggered) but I think it's understandable that some ppl who mean no harm (or who just want to breathe in my face about my belly button) see a girl walk quickly away rather than me finding out if I'm going to be licked/groped/fondled/grabbed once again >:O And no, it doesn't mean I don't make decisions based on each situation, or person... and it doesn't mean I react the same way each time, but I'm trying to explain WHY I, and other women, react to "approaches" in ways that in a vacuum, seem paranoid >:|

So yeah... I hope ppl who may not have understood the context in which a lot of women were responding to "elevatorgate" might at least kinda (or at least open their mind to) "get it" now :\ The same action (ppl approaching you) can lead to very different results... and those results can be EXTREMELY different in consequence to us. :\ And it's easy for other ppl to tell us to take the risk. But ultimately, it's not their risk to take. It's our bodies, and we have to live w/ the memories, and we have to live w/ the trauma :\

Ami's Safe Space Project

2011-07-19T21:09:00.027-04:00

Note: For ppl who don't know: Cis = "not trans"

This is something that I hope will grow into something bigger, not for my own self-aggrandizement xD but b/c I think this is something rly important, and it's something rly important to me...

So first off, I have a new job :] I'm a consultant for various social services agencies (rape crisis centres, shelters, addiction services, etc etc) in my city, and I try to help them create trans-positive, intersectional, etc policies and update policies as well as suggest other things that could be done to improve the accessibility of their service :]

Right now I am working w/ a rape crisis agency, that was started by white women but is now being run (predominantly) by WoCs. One of the things that I've learned on my job already, is that a lot of our assumptions and what we "know" about social services and agencies, especially shelters and rape crisis centres, is... not always true.

For example, one of the truisms, is that there are no shelters for men... which isn't true (since I work w/ them), or rape crisis centres that serve men, and that men are not welcome in such places. There is also the presumption that most women's spaces are unfriendly to trans ppl and especially trans women. And while this CAN be true (Vancouver Rape Relief being a great example) it is not as a rule, true.

One of the things I learned is that what's written down on paper is sometimes worth as much as that paper. Often policy guides or by-laws are rarely updated to reflect changes in the organization, and might have problematic language (or policies) in them BUT the way they operate, and the "unwritten" guidelines they work on are COMPLETELY different and extremely inclusive and accommodating. For example, a centre that in the 80s was run by white woman, might now have a completely different leadership, and be very aware of anti-racist and intersectional issues, but that is not reflected in it's policy guide, which employees may not even be instructed to read anymore. Sometimes, literature may not highlight that they are trans or cis male inclusive, but they are. I mean these are things that are my job to advice on, but in some cases, in practice, they already have been implemented. :)

Which goes to my point... oftentimes, we "know" things on a very theoretical level. We google search, we read websites, we look at pamphlets, and we look at the name of an agency (it might have Woman in it, for instance), and from there we make an assessment. And that's not to say it's unfair in terms of the attitudes that might be behind the original wording, or the current wording (certainly ppl use google searches in internet arguments a lot to show that XYZ place is sexist or etc) but... it's also NOT THE POINT if we're talking about real actual victims who need real actual help. A place that helps trans ppl, or helps men, and does not treat them less than a cis woman, is a place that does those things and is doing good work, and it's irrelevant in THAT sense, what's on their brochures at this v moment. But the problem is a lot of people do not KNOW this, and b/c of what we "know" and the assumptions we have, I suspect a lot of ppl presume there are MUCH LESS resources out there for them than there are. :\

And it's totally reasonably that in a time of crisis, you don't want to take a risk of going to a possible unsafe place, or a place that will reject you. And you don't want to take your friend there either, and google searches may turn up very few results, or ones you can't trust, or worry about. :\

While I was talking w/ one of the workers at the crisis centre I was consulting w/ and talking to her about changing the brochures (this is a topic for another post), she said something that rly resonated w/ me... and even after I left the place, and my workday was over, I still couldn't get it out of my mind. She said that ultimately, brochures, websites, etc don't really help that much if people don't believe it, or don't read them (how often do we read brochures for rape crisis centres?) and the most effective way she's found to inform people is through

word of mouth.

Which makes so much sense. After all, word of mouth are ppl who have actually worked w/ those agencies, or who have actually been clients of theirs, or gotten help from them. If a person tells you that a place helps trans ppl or cis men too, that means more than if a brochure says "we believe anybody can be a victim of violence" right?

So this is my Project, and what I want to try to start, and I know I'm not a v big blogger and I'm going to try to pull in more ppl, but I want to start a "Safe Space Project".

I'm starting with cis and trans men, trans women and genderqueer ppl, for now because those are the groups that typically worry about how agencies will treat them, and the general stereotype is that there AREN'T agencies, esp related to abuse and rape that will help them. And I want to create a (hopefully comprehensive) list of agencies (wherever in the world you live that you know of some) that are supportive of these groups, regardless of if they have "woman" or "man" in the title. :] Because I want a resource where ppl can look at it and know that there IS support in their area and that they CAN go to these places. So I want ppl to submit agencies that they KNOW (whether thru working w/ them, working FOR them, going to them, having friends go to them, calling them up and asking comprehensively, etc) are supportive and accepting of trans women, trans men, genderqueer individuals and cis men.

Also, on a more pragmatic view. The more such an agency is known as a supportive one for trans ppl or cis men, the more they will have incentive to change their policies or tailor more specific support. :]

This btw, includes spaces JUST for men, because as I said, the assumption is there are none, and those are necessary to bring out awareness about too. AS WELL, for men's spaces, I want to be able to put in the list whether they are trans men friendly also, because there are many men's shelters that turn away trans men "for their own safety" and I think it is ALSO important to list shelters that do not do this, or have accommodations for trans men (separate rooms, etc). :]

I rly hope that this can take off, and that... it won't be 2 comments and end at that. I'm rly worried it will be :( And I understand a lot of ppl read my writing and think I'm a child, but this is serious, and I really do want to create this list, so ignore my writing, and let's try to put this list together :]

You can comment HERE, or you can email me at:

ami_angelwings at hotmail dot com

if you would prefer to be confidential :] Put the name of the agency, any website that they might have, and their location if you could.

Thank you in advance to any and all who participate :] I really hope we can... at least provide a resource for ppl who are experiencing trauma, and in pain, and who need help but are unsure and too scared of where to go and if such places will accept them, believe them, and not question them as survivors of violence. (I know when what happened to me happened, I refused to call any helpline my friends suggested out of fear that they would not understand or believe me as a trans survivor)

Thank you, again.

edit: The comments in NSWATM bring up a great point about some men being unable to use a shelter if they can't bring their children along with them. So if you know specifically that a shelter will allow this, and is understanding of these situations, please add that too with your recommendation! :D Thank you! (again)

Update! Yay! We have our first few entries! Remember, you can call and ask places in your area, or go there and talk to them. And if you've volunteered and know that they're inclusive, plz let me know too! :3

Canada

Toronto, ON:

Toronto Rape Crisis Centre Multicultural Women Against Rape - Sexual Violence Crisis Centre (accepting and inclusive of genderqueer individuals, trans people and cis men)

Women's College Hospital Trauma Therapy Program - Trauma Therapy Program (accepts genderqueer individuals, trans people
and cis men)

United States

National:

Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women (1-888-7HELPLINE (1-888-743-5754) ) - Domestic Abuse Helpline (helps cis men, will help find shelter accommodation, treatment of trans and GQ ppl unknown)

Chico, CA:

Catalyst Domestic Violence Services - DV Shelter and Services (Services accepts cis men, trans and genderqueer people, shelter accepts trans women and will put cis and trans men in a hotel)

Chicago, IL:

Emmaus Ministries - Christian Sex Worker support for cis men note: the website says they preach Christianity and seem to see sex work as something bad to get ppl to stop doing... this could be an unsafe place for some sex workers, and queer ppl... any more information about them would be helpful

Newport, RI:

Women's Resource Center - DV Shelter (accepts trans men and women, will put cis men up in a hotel and provide for their needs, treatment of genderqueer individuals unknown)

Washington, DC:

Washington Empowered Against Violence (WEAVE) - Legal services and support for victims of intimate partner violence (accepts cis men, trans and genderqueer people)

WEAVE (Formerly Women Empowered Against Violence, now Washington) provides legal services and other support for survivors of intimate partner violence. Though their original objectives and name focused on service provision to straight cis women, WEAVE has really embraced the idea that all people can face violence and have started specific initiatives to reach out to LGBTQ communities and to trans communities in particular.

Helping Individual Prostitutes Survive (HIPS) - Sex worker support (helps cis men, trans and genderqueer people)

HIPS serves female, male, trans and genderqueer people engaging in sex work in DC through a harm reduction model--no shaming, just support. Their full range of services, including support for sex workers who have experienced violence, can be seen on their website.

Washington State:

Eastside Domestic Violence Program - DV Crisis Centre and Shelter (accepts cis men and genderqueer individuals, treatment of trans people unknown)

Great and sobering post on domestic abuse

2011-07-18T13:45:00.003-04:00

Holly over at Pervocracy has a great (and v sobering) post about Domestic Abuse and reasons why ppl stay in an abusive relationships which I think a lot of us have "known" about this but I haven't seen it laid out so well like this. :] She mixes up the pronouns (and the sexual orientation of the relationships) too, which helps keep it from ppl saying "you're saying this only happens to women/men!"

She also provides resources at the end, which are v important. I think it's abs important reading for everybody (tho it can be triggering, so warning there) :]

I'd quote from the post but then I'd be quoting from the WHOLE post and I dunno if she would approve. xD But yus, go read!

ARGH >:O WTF is this s-

2011-07-18T00:30:00.006-04:00

Okay, ignore the first part cuz it's an MRA guy talking about it. Tho he's not wrong, at least about the assault being assault stuff, and that anybody saying "he must have deserved it" is being an asshat and yeah prolly being misandrist >:\ It's no different than when I see comments from men saying a woman "must have deserved it" when it comes to domestic abuse, or rape, or sexual assault, or etc etc.. :\ Both ways is sexist and f-ed up, cuz it takes the assault and works backwards assuming that of course, whoever got it MUST have deserved it... it's victim blaming >:\

What I disagree w/ him on is the whole "pussy pass" etc stuff >_> but we alrdy know that...

But I want to get to this "The Talk" s-... is this like.. The View? o_O Like some other network's counter to it? It's... ugh... just as bad >_<;;; And I'm also annoyed at nebody who says they're saying just what "all women" think or they represent all women or feminists or something (I'm pretty sick of ppl saying "feminists" to mean "any woman w/ an opinion") .. STFU >:\ Mind you, I dun care what these shows say cuz they seem to be ALWAYS so problematic and ridic and have a mandate to divide things along stereotypical gross gender lines >:\ But I mean, the View was rly stupid and ridic about the Toronto couple that chose to not disclose the gender of their child... and I presume "The Talk" is not particularly better... -_-

Neways yeah.. just in case ppl can't intuit my position: ASSAULT IS WRONG, ASSAULTING SOMEBODY'S GENITALS IS WRONG, GENITAL MUTILATION IS WRONG, CUTTING SOMEBODY'S GENITALS IS WRONG, CHOPPING OFF A PERSON'S BODY PART IS WRONG >:O

And it's not FUNNY just cuz it happened to a man and you happen to be women >:\ Wrong is wrong. Assault is never f-ing funny >:\

*sighs* Gross >:\

No Seriously... has more information about who to write to (CBS) to protest this. I suggest ppl offended do so >:\

Ami teh economist

2011-07-15T23:26:00.008-04:00

So apparently there's this blog w/ this person who hates casual sex... which is fine.. ppl can hate w/e they want xD But now she has a FLOW CHART that proves (PROVES!) that casual sex leads to ECONOMIC STAGNATION!!!!!!!! (the more !s the better xD)

also she considers RAPE an aspect of casual sex which is WTF O_O;;; TBF she doesn't say rape is a FORM of casual sex, just that having casual sex -> rape which leads to apparently giant monetary costs o_O I'm also unsure why being raped when you're DRUNK leads to MORE cost than if you're not o_O

She says:

Because it’s much harder to prosecute a rape case when the victim was intoxicated. Consent becomes murky, or at least it’s easy for the defense to make that claim. This is why most colleges fail to discipline students accused of sexual assualt – it’s difficult to prove, and if she went to his room drunk at 3am it’s nearly impossible.

But why would that cost more money? o_O In fact it might cost LESS money, since it might not even make it to trial (how is she measuring the costs of this stuff neways? o_O she DOES know that the complainant DOES NOT have to hire a defense lawyer right? or is this another assumption that rape trials are about the "accuser" vs the defendant rather than the state vs the defendant? o_O )

Either way.. this is disgusting... and hilarious! and disgusting >_<;;

Also casual sex DOES NOT lead to more rape, b/c.. well.. look if you went to the place of a guy who rapes you, does it matter if you WOULD have slept w/ him or not!? >_<;; Or does she assume if you're not interested in casual sex you would never go out w/ nebody ever neways? o_O No dates for those not interested in casual sex? No acquaintances? No going out? Just boardgames and checkers w/ the cat? o_O

I like the strawperson she uses about the "being passed out drunk w/ your breasts hanging out in a frathouse" thing too. So if your breasts weren't hanging out... then.. no rape? o_O Ppl who don't want sex, or are virgins can't get passed out drunk? o_O Oh ffs -_- I mean this is her just wanting to use rape as a beatstick for her ideology that casual sex is bad -_-

Also it leads to ECONOMIC STAGNATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (!!!!)

xD

I love the end too. I'M NOT AN ECONOMIST, BUT I DUN HAVE TO BE B/C COMMON SENSE! xD

I can do that too!

I'm not a mind reader but common sense tells me you're an asshat who has no idea what she's talking about and is making s- up to justify her personal mores.

Also ppl reading your posts lead to them spending time blogging about them rather than making crucial investments, which lead to ECONOMIC STAGNATIONN!!!!!!!

xD

Wow that was easy! xD

I had no idea being an economics expert took so little work xD

Edit: For a more serious (and sobering) discussion about the issues w/ her flow chart and her ideas re: rape, my friend Alex has a good write up about it :]

Ami vs Alternate Universes Part 6

2011-07-11T06:10:00.004-04:00

This is the latest installment of the continuing story that I mentioned in my last post xD The whole thing can be found here. I mention this part b/c it's a nice counter point to the first part... straw MRA.. now straw radfeminism! xD

I actually kinda see this as a parable... it's basically the story of a girl who likes a guy, but all these philosophies and ideologies are getting in the way and making things super complicated... in one ideology she can't possibly like him except to use him, in the other he can't truly like her and she only likes him cuz of patriarchal brainwashing... xD and w/o further ado:

Ami had followed Kirby to Bee's house on her bike and found him at gunpoint.

Ami had followed Kirby to Bee's house party in her car and found him flirting with Molly Ren.

Ami had followed Kirby to Bee's mansion on her skateboard and found him on all fours being whipped.

The room came spinning back into focus. Ami clutched her head with one hand, and used the other to steady herself against the wall. Wh.. at. What's going on? She looked around. She was in Bee's basement... but... why? Wasn't there a man in a pink bunny suit? For that matter wasn't Bee supposed to be there?

And then, as quickly as the confusion came, it passed. That's right, Ami thought grimly, I'm in Bee's father's place. I need to find her.

Ami had seen Kirby, the man she had been conditioned by the Patriarchy to find attractive, head to Bee's father's house, and she followed him. Unfortunately, it was hard to keep up on foot, as Kirby had a car, as all men, with their male privilege, did. She had to find out what was going on, if he was going to add Molly to his porn-sick games.

Ami looked around the basement, shivering from a cold breeze that wafted through. Her torn rags and broken shoes did little to protect her from the icy wind. She had to do this. She had to, even if it meant still being trapped in an abusive relationship, as any and all relationships with men and women inevitably became, inevitably had to be in a Patriarchal society. Ami shivered once more, taking in her surroundings. It was dark... and dank. There were cobwebs and exposed pipes everywhere. In the corner was a small bowl, filled with what looked (and smelled) like rotting fish. This must be where Bee's father keeps her, Ami thought. She sighed. It was nicer than most girls' rooms. Ami wished her father had been that kind.

She looked for an exit. How did I get in here? She tried to remember. She had followed Kirby, but lost him as he turned into Bee's street. Being certain he had gone to her house, Ami went in and... the rest was a blur. It was hard to think when she had had so little to eat lately, a result of the Patriarchy's mandatory anorexia program.

Suddenly, she heard a noise. Ami squinted in the darkness, trying to follow it, trying to find it. It sounded like... licking... lapping? She continued to scan the room... was it ther... no... there! She saw movement and tracked it. It was a cat. Possibly a stray. It looked disheveled, gaunt. Like Ami did. She walked slowly towards it, squatting down gently, careful not to frighten it, or get bitten (Kirby would never pay for rabies shots for her).

"Are you trapped here too?" She asked, not really expecting an answer. The cat backed off slowly, judging her warily. "I'm not going to hurt you." Ami smiled. Cats were banned under the Patriarchy, and like most women, Ami felt a certain kinship with the animals. She stretched a hand out. "Come on... I'm not going to..."

The cat bolted, scurrying into the darkness leaving Ami shocked... and alone, once more.

"Great" she muttered. "Even a cat wants nothing to do with me." But then another thought occurred to her. "I wonder where it went?"

Ami moved cautiously in the dark, careful not to disturb any fresh spider-webs, or cut herself on any loose nails. She headed in the direction she had seen the cat flee in, hoping, praying to the Goddess, that there was a way out, her hands feeling out in front of her.

She began talking to herself, trying to keep herself from giving into despair. "You can do this Ami. Don't be selfish. You need to save Molly. Take one for womynkind. I know it's hard but..."

She stopped. Her hands had hit... something. She felt around, unable to see barely anything this deep into the basement. It was... a dirt wall. GREAT.

Ami slumped down onto the floor. She was cold. And tired. And hungry. And... she was never going to get out of here! Not that it mattered. What would she be returning to? An abusive man, her stupid weak mind couldn't help but love? Being forced into his porn-sick fantasies that she knew she only enjoyed because of Patriarchal conditioning?

"Maybe I don't deserve to live if I'm this weak." She muttered, tears beginning to drip down her face. "If I was a real womyn, I'd be able to... OW"

Ami looked down, instinctively yanking her hand away. "What in Goddess' name?" It was that cat again! It must have come out of hiding and seen her as a threat. But... where did it come...

Suddenly she saw it, barely visible in the darkness, a small hole, about a foot and a half wide, underneath a mass of pipes. Ami blinked, not able to believe or process what this could mean. Luckily, her survival instincts took over, and she dove towards it, using the little energy she had left to pull herself under the piping and towards possible salvation.

The hole opened up into a tight, but not uncomfortably so, dirt tunnel. She figured that either Bee or the cat had originally dug it and constant use had opened it up a little more. She continued to crawl.

An eternity passed. Dirt fell onto her mouth and eyes, her fingernails were probably filthier now than they had ever been. And yet Ami pushed... and crawled.. and climbed. And eventually... after what seemed like ages... she broke through to the surface. The setting sunlight felt like heaven to her. Bracing herself on Bee's father's lawn, Ami used one last burst of strength and hoisted herself fully out of the tunnel and onto the soft, wonderful, grass. She coughed and spit out dirt that has been caught in her mouth and throat during the climb and blinked into the sun, adjusting to real, actual, glorious light.

Her paradise, unfortunately, did not last long. She heard screaming. It was coming from around the house. Ami forced herself onto her feet, taking short, unsteady steps towards the racket. Fearful about what she might see, scared that she was too late and Kirby had already found Molly Ren. She turned the corner...

Ami Angelwings satirical story of doom! xD

2011-07-10T17:31:00.003-04:00

So I wrote this over on the Manboobz Forums (we have forums now! xD ) and it started out as one thing but has evolved into something else xD I originally was just going to do straight up YA drama, b/c one of our MRA trolls was saying how women are catty and jealous and etc etc and I wondered why WE (the female members) weren't... so i decided we must be.. and started to write this xD But then I started to add in some of the MRAish type ideas... and then somebody else took the story in a ttlly different idea in part 2, and now it's become "Ami Angelwings trapped in parallel universes trying to get to her true love" xD The latest chapter (by me) has the situation now in a straw-radfem idea.. like the first chapter is a straw-MRA idea xD Neways! Enjoy! xD And if you like it you can read the whole thing (thus far) here

And awayyy we go:

Ami Aurora Angelwings sat on her bed chewing on a knuckle. She did that when she was angry, depressed or thoughtful. Right now, it was definitely angry. Beside her, on her night table, sat a framed picture of Kirby Warp, her beta-male boyfriend. Or at least she had THOUGHT so.

She glanced at the photo, at his big puppy dog eyes, his cute little eager-to-please smile, and his not-quite-solid-enough-to-demand-anything abs, and screamed. "Arghhhhhhh!"

Things had been going so well too!

Ami's family had moved to the Chicago suburb of Roissy, Illinois last summer because her dad had lost his job, which meant, naturally, that her mom divorced him and married a wealthy industrialist. Being Asian, Ami's mother had a longer shelf life than other women, and so even in her late 30s, could still pick up a decent alpha. So, Ami, her mother, and her brother packed up their bags and moved from their busy but beta-filled city in Canada, to the calmer, alpha-filled neighbourhoods of Roissy.

It took Ami a little time to get used to the change. The big houses, the lawns that look like they belonged on a football field, the expensive cars and even more expensive trophy wives... It was just all so much for the 16 year old who had been used to the dirty, hustle and bustle of the big city. Everything was so neatly groomed here, so ornate, so... perfect.

But she got used to it. People were still people. Alphas were still alphas, girls were still girls, and high school was still high school. Even when, on her first day at MBZ High, she got picked on by the cool kids for the way she spoke, and the words she used, she trucked on, implementing the lessons she had learned from her mother and from becoming Queen Bee at her former school. Ami manipulated, and undermined, she identified the Omegas and Betas and used them to do her homework for her, leaving her with more time to spread rumours, gossip and delicious satire of her tormentors. But she always played it clean, with plausible deniability so when Principal Futrelle called her into his office, she could always innocently and (more or less) honestly tell her that "she (or he) started it!" And it had paid off, within a couple of months, she was one of the most, if not the most, popular girl at MBZ high, she had her cute little beta boyfriend, Kirby, who could be used for snuggling, and occasionally other purposes, she had her clique of beta male white knights and alpha bitches, she had everything she could ever want, or need, and more!

And now it was all falling apart!

Ami grabbed Eoghan, her plush giraffe and held him up, glaring at him. "It's not fair!" she screamed at him. "It's not fair! I had him! He's mine!" Eoghan stared back, blankly. Ami screamed and threw him across the room, knocking over her scented foot oils.

"It's not fair." She muttered again, flopping down onto her sheets, hiding her head into her pillow. "Molly's not even an alpha. She's fat! That makes her a beta, at MOST. This isn't fair!" Ami kept her head buried, sobbing slightly. "Not... fair..."

Suddenly, there was a knock on her door. "Ami?"

It was her mom. Ami didn't move.

"Ami?" Her mother slowly creaked open the door. She peeked her head in, her perfect exotic Asian hair flowing down her shoulders as she did so.

Ami continued to sob. "What?" She finally said.

"Oh Ami." Amira Angelwings strolled over to her bed and sat down on the edge, careful to not mess up the six thousand dollar skirt she had just seduced the mailman into buying for her. She rested a perfectly manicured hand on her daughter's back. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Go away."

But Amira knew that it was not nothing. She glanced over to Ami's night stand and saw the picture of Kirby, and knew. "Oh honey, did you lose your beta?"

Ami didn't answer, but Amira knew she was right. "Oh darling, I'm so sorry. But there will be others. Who did you lose him to?" She stroked her daughter's long blonde hair gently, soothing her.

"M..ol...ly R..en." Ami was so ashamed she could barely choke out the name.

Suddenly the hair stroking stopped. Amira stood up stiffly. "That hippo!? You lost a beta male to some fatty!?"

Ami sobbed harder. "I know mom. I don't know what I did wrong! I followed all the rules! I did everything you told me to! But there's this new girl, and she's... more of a queen bee than I am. Her name's even Bee! And everything's being screwed up, and... now I saw Kirby giving his lunch money to her... and... I don't know!" She banged her head in frustration on her pillow.

Understanding now, Amira sat back down, steadying herself. "I think I understand honey. Bee's a feminist, isn't she?" Ami nodded into her pillow. Amira sighed. "This is what feminists do honey, they mess up the natural order of things, and there's nothing more natural than high school. It'll be okay darling, it absolutely will be. You'll get him back, and you'll get back at the Hippo and her Bee friend... feminism can only get them so far, and you're just so pretty and young. Sometimes, I hate you too, and not just in the usual way mothers are jealous of their young daughters."

For the first time since her mother came into the room, Ami felt hope. She lifted her head out of her pillow and wiped the tears from her eyes. "Really?"

Her mother smiled at her. "Really. You're an Angelwings, and we always find ways to fly. Just look at me, over thirty and still able to get an Alpha to provide and slave for us. Here, why don't we go out to dinner, and we'll talk about your problem some more. There's this great new place that just opened. It's very elite and expensive but the owner has a thing for young Asian girls. Just make sure you wear that tight dress I bought you yesterday, and we'll get in no problem." Amira smiled at her daughter once more and walked out of the room.

Ami stared into space. Her mom was right. This wasn't over! She had only begun to fight! If these bitches... no... BEE-tches wanted to mess with Ami Aurora Angelwings, they were about to see what that really meant! She got up off her bed, dried her eyes and picked up her picture of Kirby. "They'll have no idea what hit them"