LAN party bans female gamers because they care soooo much about misogyny

Organizers of a large LAN party in Texas are concerned with harassment of female players.. solution? Ban female players.

W.T.F.

Srsly... WTF. Not that this should surprise nebody -_- We get this a lot after all. Problem w/ rape? Yell at the women. Don't dress like that. What were you doing out of your house at night? Why did you go up to his room? etc etc... I mean me and my friends just finished snarking a list like that...

And then there's that grope button thing before, if nebody remembers, where some guys were giving out stickers to women to wear if they didn't want to be groped at a con >:\

And so it shouldn't rly be surprising that the solution to women being harassed is to ban women -_- After all the problem is us, and triggering these poor fellows into being misogynist a-holes >:\

Like the OPer, I also have heard an ASSTON of racism in online gaming... so are we banning Jewish ppl and black ppl next too? -_- And gay ppl of course... definitely, since there's a ton of gay rape jokes and "fag" being thrown around >:\

FFS...

"Nothing ruins a good LAN party like uncomfortable guests or lots of tension, both of which can result from mixing immature, misogynistic male-gamers with female counterparts," the organizers originally wrote in an event FAQ. "Though we've done our best to avoid these situations in years past, we've certainly had our share of problems. As a result, we no longer allow women to attend this event.

What's funny is they don't say WHO is having the party ruined... they act like it's THEIR buzz being killed. Um it's FEMALE GAMERS who are having their fun time ruined? You know what's not a good way to fix that? Keeping them from being able to participate in it at all >_<;;;

And they admit that they're immature and misogynist but then are like... well *SHRUG* the best way is to not allow them in!

The thing is this stuff isn't just misogynist, it's MISANDRIST, if you wanna talk about looking down on men, insulting men, acting as if men are necessarily childish, immature and sexist assholes... how about THAT? >:\

Not only do you take away the female players choice to attend, you take away a male players choice to say "fuck no, I'm not going to treat women like that", by just acting like they WILL.

I notice that there doesn't seem to be an assumption that female players will be immature and sexist.. even tho presumably, they're also gamer nerds of the same age -_- As the OPer said, if you RLY wanted to solve this, then make a strict rule that says "no misogynist comments or slurs" and nebody who does gets kicked out. Since it's 50$ to enter, you'd think that MOST guys would want to not have their money wasted and abide >:\

"We actively discourage gamers from being the kind of mysogynistic jackwagons seen in the Reddit post, and such behavior should not be tolerated. Frankly, we don't like that kind of player either. So far as this event goes, it is an special event designed specifically for male gamers. Further, it is meant as a getaway designed to help said male contingent become better men both for themselves and for those who love us."

You know, insulting men more and more does NOT make any of this better. It does NOT help you not seem like a problematic sexist jackass. >:\ It's funny that they say "the behaviour should not be tolerated" but rather than making RULES AGAINST IT, they just ban women. And they said "we don't like that kind of player either" so therefore, it'll be an event JUST FOR THEM. Yea... WHAT!? >:O

And you know, I am SO sick of the whole "putting down men to justify misogyny/keeping women out" crap... >:\ Whether it's in rape apologia "men are just animals, we can't help ourselves! You're like fresh meat to a wolf!" or cultures that don't allow women the same freedoms of men, or restrict their clothing or in entertainment where you can have 5 male heroes and 1 female hero on the team, but as long as she's always sneering at them for being immature, or something, then it's okay! Cuz see, women are goddesses who are perfect and men are pigs and slobs! FFS >:O I WANT EVERYBODY TO BE TREATED AS HUMAN BEINGS, NOT TO HAVE WOMEN PEDESTALIZED AND MEN PUT DOWN AND SPIT ON >:O

and as I said, in this case (and many other cases, as above) it's extremely DISINGENUOUS b/c they don't actually think men are inferior to women, they just want a way to keep women out while being able to act like it's for OUR OWN GOOD >:|

Look, if this place wanted to have a men's only event, and a no girls allowed club. That's FINE xD If they started out just saying it was a "Gentleman's Retreat"... I mean you'll still be criticized by some (like Augusta National is criticized for that policy) but knock yourself out! It's the sexist bullshit that's making ppl angry, and the weak "men are pigs who can't help themselves!" excuse (and sexist putdown) used to justify the big "no girls allowed" sign that is the reason this is such BS. >:O Esp since this is a culture/comm that is alrdy pretty unwelcoming to women, and your solution to the kinds of treatment female gamers deal w/ is... to just lock them out all together? -_-;;

Wanna keep girls out? Your playerbase doesn't ilke women? FINE! But dun tell us it's for our own good, and you REALLY care about misogyny. >:\ if you REALLY cared, you'd make rules against it, not BAN US like it's OUR FAULT and your male players aren't EQUALLY THINKING INTELLIGENT AND RATIONAL HUMAN BEINGS.

Ami, Trish and Zhinxy snarkle the Rape Prevention List Part 2!

This is part 2 of Me, Trish and Zhinxy snarkling (snark + tackle) the Rape Prevention Tips list xD

This is Part 1 if ppl wanted to catch up :3

And awayyy we go:

Remains of female warrior vikings found! Feminists found to have gone back in time to plant evidence! xD

There were way more female vikings than we thought, and they got buried with their swords, too

OMG female vikings! xD

Not that it rly surprises ppl, but it's nice to have proof and something to show the annoying sexist fantasy fans who always argue "HISTORICAL ACCURACY!" (without actually knowing history) about sexism/rape/etc to justify problematic writing in fantasy fiction -_- Not that we SHOULD be arguing on that vein (it's still on the writer after all, and it's pretty dishonest to pretend that they felt FORCED to include problematic elements b/c of "historical accuracy" when they just included a dragon) but good ammo nonetheless :3

Mind you... my OTHER response is this:

They weren't actually warriors. They were the wives who divorced warriors and took all of their swords and armor in the settlement, leaving them defenseless and to be killed off. I'm pretty sure the graves they were buried in were meant for men too, but they seduced the burial ppl ahead of time, and had the male corpses tossed into the ocean.

>_>

XD

YOU ALL KNOW IT'S TRUE!

I don't want your false pity Barbara Kay >:o I'm "tortured" b/c of attitudes like yours.

Barbara Kay opens her mouth on trans issues, nothing good comes out

Not that it should be surprising... it's Barbara Kay -_-;; She's SURPRISINGLY circumspect for the way she normally writes actually.. it's like she's afraid to actually say everything she thinks about trans ppl xD But I think the ending is pretty clear, she misses the days when gender roles were heavily entrenched and cross dressing was only a way to further entrench them, and now cross dressing is a way to make ppl into trans ppl! (or something >_>) Also, the parents did not ENCOURAGE Jazz to dress as a girl, they let him dress however he wanted, and he liked having his hair in pigtails -_-;;;

Also she seems to be hedging... >:\ She's implying that there's a conspiracy out there to indoctrinate children into being trans, and forcing children to be trans when they're not. But then she pretends to be all "no no I'm not being transphobic, b/c I believe they DO exist! They just should be pitied!" >_<;; (cue the ablism too and the homophobia >:\ )

Gender identity disorder, or transgenderism, afflicts from 0.25 to 1.0% of the population. Cher and Sonny Bono’s daughter Chastity — now a man, Chaz — is a well-known example of the condition. Reacting to pressures from ideologues, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), the “psychiatrist’s bible,” now in draft for its fifth incarnation, is renaming the condition as “gender dysphoria,” which relieves the condition of any pejorative association.

So, soon I won’t be permitted to use the word “afflicts” or have the right to feel sorry for people suspended between a male and a female identity. The gay-rights movement has wrongly appropriated gender dysphoria as a variant of alternative sexuality. Transgenderism is now the new “civil rights” battle (in fact the July 14 cover of The New Republic magazine features a young person (looks male, is female) and suggests exactly that in the caption).

Gays are doing the transgendered no favours by taking them under their political wing. Biological homelessness — “gender identity disorder” in the jargon — is a very real, biologically rooted condition, but it is nothing to celebrate or encourage. A gay man or a lesbian woman may be perfectly comfortable with his or her sex, but a transgendered boy or girl — whether their sexuality tends to the heterosexual or the homosexual — is a tortured soul, at least before modern medicine can provide him or her with a body that fits their identity. True compassion would call for more medical research into how such misery can be avoided.

One is not allowed to say that nowadays, of course. One is not permitted to feel sorry for anyone with a “diverse” sexuality. Times have changed. The once-bright line between the sexes — while still there in reality for 99% of us — has, in the interest of compassion for and solidarity with a tiny minority, been banished in gender-correct discourse.

Oh STFU... we dun want your pity... or feeling "sorry" for us. >:O Wanna know why my life had "misery"? B/c I was beaten up and bullied for being a non-conforming child >:\ Because of these ideas of "boys don't cry" (I cried, I got beaten up b/c ppl wanted to see me cry more) or how ppl should act >:\ B/c I had NO idea that transitioning was an option... and felt like a freak for feeling the way I did >:o B/c the only messages I got on trans ppl in society were pity and mockery from types like you, and on Jerry Springer, so I didn't know that I could transition and live as a woman >:O B/c after/during transitioning, I was stopped and held by a security guard in order for him to out me in public so everybody could know that I was trans >:o Where I've literally had to run b/c ppl realized I was trans on the street, shouted at me, and moved towards me :\ Where a police officer stopped me and wouldn't let me go until I explained to him "what" I am and "why do you do this? do you get off on it?" and etc etc.. or my friends who have been kicked out onto the street by their families b/c of transphobia and ignorance and fear of gender non-conformity >:O

Or the many trans ppl who are killed every year simply b/c they're trans. We don't want your pity. We want you to GET A F-ING CLUE.

True compassion would call for more medical research into how such misery can be avoided.

No. True compassion would be to advocate for children NOT to have go to thru this s-... to fight for easier access for ppl to be able to transition earlier... and more education so kids know they're not abnormal, or freaks.. :\ And to fight AGAINST gender roles and AGAINST punishing ppl for not conforming to them (esp children) and NOT for pushing MORE gender roles and encouraging parents to FEAR their kids exploring their identities! >:O That's TRUE compassion. Not obsessing w/ ways to "cure" us while advocating for a return to a world that would be even harder for trans and genderqueer ppl and gender non-conforming cis ppl >:O

I don't see a "bright line" between the genders. What I see a "bright line" between you and being a person who truly cares about trans ppl >:\

edit: If this column offends you as much it offends me, don't let your voice go unheard!

Write to Barbara Kay at: bkay@videotron.ca

Or send a letter to the National Post

Let them and her know wtf is wrong w/ what she just said >:\

Sometimes, you just don't know >:|

I was thinking about this today, after yet another guy got rly, uncomfortably, close to me and said something to me :\

A couple of days ago, I was out (it's RLY RLY RLY hot right now, tmrw it's gonna be the hottest it's been since the 1940s) and a guy came up to me (I was w/ my friend shopping) on the street, started veering into me and walked RIGHT INTO MY FACE, and whispered "I can see your belly button"... and gave me a creepy leer/smile. It was frightening and creepy as f- >:O

Then today, again, RLY RLY hot... and yeah again I was wearing shorts and a small shirt (a halter today, a tied up t-shirt last time, I dare you to victim blame me >:\ )

A guy approached me as I was walking w/ my friend and got right in my face again.. he slowed down too.... I always can tell when something's about to happen, but you never know what to do... esp in the middle of a crowded street.. but you can tell by body language, by them looking at you, knowing that they've "targeted" you... and what are they going to do? :\ that's what I realize is my biggest fear... I dunno! Today it was just a guy who came up to me and got rly close to me and said something I couldn't hear b/c I immediately started to walk/run away :\ but other times, ppl have tried to grope me, or HAVE groped me.. slapped my butt... tried to touch me, grabbed my arm... try to lick me... etc :\

it's just... you don't know :\ and that thought rly hit home when I was thinking about it today.... and what ppl don't get about why Rebecca Watson might have been creeped out or worried :\ B/c the thing is, we DO notice these things and we KNOW when a guy is following us, or looking at us, about when they're about to "make a move" but we have no idea WHAT that will be :\

That's something some ppl JUST can't understand, or WON'T understand :\ That it's not just an either/or... we're not either safe or not... :\ and we can't mindread! When a guy starts to "home in" on us... whether following us, or veering towards us, slowing down to intersect us... staring at us and then moving closer... we don't know what's going to happen next! It doesn't HAVE to be rape to be sexual assault, or worried if it will be :\ Each time, I dashed away... b/c times I didn't, sometimes ppl touched me... sometimes they don't... I don't care if it offends ppl that I think they're creepy and leave... but I'd rather NOT be touched again... I think that's fair right? >:o

And that's the thing.. it happens. It happens A LOT MORE than ppl might even think it happens :\ And the thing is a lot of women are ACUTELY aware of when guys are staring at us and when they start moving in :\ (and it's contextual too... if you're in a place where women are likely to harass or molest you, then you become acutely aware of women moving towards you too... ) And you ... just don't know. And I'm sorry that I don't give everybody the benefit of the doubt and allow myself to be touched (and in MY case, triggered) but I think it's understandable that some ppl who mean no harm (or who just want to breathe in my face about my belly button) see a girl walk quickly away rather than me finding out if I'm going to be licked/groped/fondled/grabbed once again >:O And no, it doesn't mean I don't make decisions based on each situation, or person... and it doesn't mean I react the same way each time, but I'm trying to explain WHY I, and other women, react to "approaches" in ways that in a vacuum, seem paranoid >:|

So yeah... I hope ppl who may not have understood the context in which a lot of women were responding to "elevatorgate" might at least kinda (or at least open their mind to) "get it" now :\ The same action (ppl approaching you) can lead to very different results... and those results can be EXTREMELY different in consequence to us. :\ And it's easy for other ppl to tell us to take the risk. But ultimately, it's not their risk to take. It's our bodies, and we have to live w/ the memories, and we have to live w/ the trauma :\

Ami's Safe Space Project

Note: For ppl who don't know: Cis = "not trans"

This is something that I hope will grow into something bigger, not for my own self-aggrandizement xD but b/c I think this is something rly important, and it's something rly important to me...

So first off, I have a new job :] I'm a consultant for various social services agencies (rape crisis centres, shelters, addiction services, etc etc) in my city, and I try to help them create trans-positive, intersectional, etc policies and update policies as well as suggest other things that could be done to improve the accessibility of their service :]

Right now I am working w/ a rape crisis agency, that was started by white women but is now being run (predominantly) by WoCs. One of the things that I've learned on my job already, is that a lot of our assumptions and what we "know" about social services and agencies, especially shelters and rape crisis centres, is... not always true.

For example, one of the truisms, is that there are no shelters for men... which isn't true (since I work w/ them), or rape crisis centres that serve men, and that men are not welcome in such places. There is also the presumption that most women's spaces are unfriendly to trans ppl and especially trans women. And while this CAN be true (Vancouver Rape Relief being a great example) it is not as a rule, true.

One of the things I learned is that what's written down on paper is sometimes worth as much as that paper. Often policy guides or by-laws are rarely updated to reflect changes in the organization, and might have problematic language (or policies) in them BUT the way they operate, and the "unwritten" guidelines they work on are COMPLETELY different and extremely inclusive and accommodating. For example, a centre that in the 80s was run by white woman, might now have a completely different leadership, and be very aware of anti-racist and intersectional issues, but that is not reflected in it's policy guide, which employees may not even be instructed to read anymore. Sometimes, literature may not highlight that they are trans or cis male inclusive, but they are. I mean these are things that are my job to advice on, but in some cases, in practice, they already have been implemented. :)

Which goes to my point... oftentimes, we "know" things on a very theoretical level. We google search, we read websites, we look at pamphlets, and we look at the name of an agency (it might have Woman in it, for instance), and from there we make an assessment. And that's not to say it's unfair in terms of the attitudes that might be behind the original wording, or the current wording (certainly ppl use google searches in internet arguments a lot to show that XYZ place is sexist or etc) but... it's also NOT THE POINT if we're talking about real actual victims who need real actual help. A place that helps trans ppl, or helps men, and does not treat them less than a cis woman, is a place that does those things and is doing good work, and it's irrelevant in THAT sense, what's on their brochures at this v moment. But the problem is a lot of people do not KNOW this, and b/c of what we "know" and the assumptions we have, I suspect a lot of ppl presume there are MUCH LESS resources out there for them than there are. :\

And it's totally reasonably that in a time of crisis, you don't want to take a risk of going to a possible unsafe place, or a place that will reject you. And you don't want to take your friend there either, and google searches may turn up very few results, or ones you can't trust, or worry about. :\

While I was talking w/ one of the workers at the crisis centre I was consulting w/ and talking to her about changing the brochures (this is a topic for another post), she said something that rly resonated w/ me... and even after I left the place, and my workday was over, I still couldn't get it out of my mind. She said that ultimately, brochures, websites, etc don't really help that much if people don't believe it, or don't read them (how often do we read brochures for rape crisis centres?) and the most effective way she's found to inform people is through

word of mouth.

Which makes so much sense. After all, word of mouth are ppl who have actually worked w/ those agencies, or who have actually been clients of theirs, or gotten help from them. If a person tells you that a place helps trans ppl or cis men too, that means more than if a brochure says "we believe anybody can be a victim of violence" right?

So this is my Project, and what I want to try to start, and I know I'm not a v big blogger and I'm going to try to pull in more ppl, but I want to start a "Safe Space Project".

I'm starting with cis and trans men, trans women and genderqueer ppl, for now because those are the groups that typically worry about how agencies will treat them, and the general stereotype is that there AREN'T agencies, esp related to abuse and rape that will help them. And I want to create a (hopefully comprehensive) list of agencies (wherever in the world you live that you know of some) that are supportive of these groups, regardless of if they have "woman" or "man" in the title. :] Because I want a resource where ppl can look at it and know that there IS support in their area and that they CAN go to these places. So I want ppl to submit agencies that they KNOW (whether thru working w/ them, working FOR them, going to them, having friends go to them, calling them up and asking comprehensively, etc) are supportive and accepting of trans women, trans men, genderqueer individuals and cis men.

Also, on a more pragmatic view. The more such an agency is known as a supportive one for trans ppl or cis men, the more they will have incentive to change their policies or tailor more specific support. :]

This btw, includes spaces JUST for men, because as I said, the assumption is there are none, and those are necessary to bring out awareness about too. AS WELL, for men's spaces, I want to be able to put in the list whether they are trans men friendly also, because there are many men's shelters that turn away trans men "for their own safety" and I think it is ALSO important to list shelters that do not do this, or have accommodations for trans men (separate rooms, etc). :]

I rly hope that this can take off, and that... it won't be 2 comments and end at that. I'm rly worried it will be :( And I understand a lot of ppl read my writing and think I'm a child, but this is serious, and I really do want to create this list, so ignore my writing, and let's try to put this list together :]

You can comment HERE, or you can email me at:

ami_angelwings at hotmail dot com

if you would prefer to be confidential :] Put the name of the agency, any website that they might have, and their location if you could.

Thank you in advance to any and all who participate :] I really hope we can... at least provide a resource for ppl who are experiencing trauma, and in pain, and who need help but are unsure and too scared of where to go and if such places will accept them, believe them, and not question them as survivors of violence. (I know when what happened to me happened, I refused to call any helpline my friends suggested out of fear that they would not understand or believe me as a trans survivor)

Thank you, again.

edit: The comments in NSWATM bring up a great point about some men being unable to use a shelter if they can't bring their children along with them. So if you know specifically that a shelter will allow this, and is understanding of these situations, please add that too with your recommendation! :D Thank you! (again)

Update! Yay! We have our first few entries! Remember, you can call and ask places in your area, or go there and talk to them. And if you've volunteered and know that they're inclusive, plz let me know too! :3


Canada

Toronto, ON:

Toronto Rape Crisis Centre Multicultural Women Against Rape - Sexual Violence Crisis Centre (accepting and inclusive of genderqueer individuals, trans people and cis men)

Women's College Hospital Trauma Therapy Program - Trauma Therapy Program (accepts genderqueer individuals, trans people
and cis men)


United States

National:

Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women (1-888-7HELPLINE (1-888-743-5754) ) - Domestic Abuse Helpline (helps cis men, will help find shelter accommodation, treatment of trans and GQ ppl unknown)

Chico, CA:

Catalyst Domestic Violence Services - DV Shelter and Services (Services accepts cis men, trans and genderqueer people, shelter accepts trans women and will put cis and trans men in a hotel)

Chicago, IL:

Emmaus Ministries - Christian Sex Worker support for cis men note: the website says they preach Christianity and seem to see sex work as something bad to get ppl to stop doing... this could be an unsafe place for some sex workers, and queer ppl... any more information about them would be helpful

Newport, RI:

Women's Resource Center - DV Shelter (accepts trans men and women, will put cis men up in a hotel and provide for their needs, treatment of genderqueer individuals unknown)

Washington, DC:

Washington Empowered Against Violence (WEAVE) - Legal services and support for victims of intimate partner violence (accepts cis men, trans and genderqueer people)

WEAVE (Formerly Women Empowered Against Violence, now Washington) provides legal services and other support for survivors of intimate partner violence. Though their original objectives and name focused on service provision to straight cis women, WEAVE has really embraced the idea that all people can face violence and have started specific initiatives to reach out to LGBTQ communities and to trans communities in particular.

Helping Individual Prostitutes Survive (HIPS) - Sex worker support (helps cis men, trans and genderqueer people)

HIPS serves female, male, trans and genderqueer people engaging in sex work in DC through a harm reduction model--no shaming, just support. Their full range of services, including support for sex workers who have experienced violence, can be seen on their website.

Washington State:

Eastside Domestic Violence Program - DV Crisis Centre and Shelter (accepts cis men and genderqueer individuals, treatment of trans people unknown)

Great and sobering post on domestic abuse

Holly over at Pervocracy has a great (and v sobering) post about Domestic Abuse and reasons why ppl stay in an abusive relationships which I think a lot of us have "known" about this but I haven't seen it laid out so well like this. :] She mixes up the pronouns (and the sexual orientation of the relationships) too, which helps keep it from ppl saying "you're saying this only happens to women/men!"

She also provides resources at the end, which are v important. I think it's abs important reading for everybody (tho it can be triggering, so warning there) :]

I'd quote from the post but then I'd be quoting from the WHOLE post and I dunno if she would approve. xD But yus, go read!

ARGH >:O WTF is this s-

Okay, ignore the first part cuz it's an MRA guy talking about it. Tho he's not wrong, at least about the assault being assault stuff, and that anybody saying "he must have deserved it" is being an asshat and yeah prolly being misandrist >:\ It's no different than when I see comments from men saying a woman "must have deserved it" when it comes to domestic abuse, or rape, or sexual assault, or etc etc.. :\ Both ways is sexist and f-ed up, cuz it takes the assault and works backwards assuming that of course, whoever got it MUST have deserved it... it's victim blaming >:\

What I disagree w/ him on is the whole "pussy pass" etc stuff >_> but we alrdy know that...

But I want to get to this "The Talk" s-... is this like.. The View? o_O Like some other network's counter to it? It's... ugh... just as bad >_<;;; And I'm also annoyed at nebody who says they're saying just what "all women" think or they represent all women or feminists or something (I'm pretty sick of ppl saying "feminists" to mean "any woman w/ an opinion") .. STFU >:\ Mind you, I dun care what these shows say cuz they seem to be ALWAYS so problematic and ridic and have a mandate to divide things along stereotypical gross gender lines >:\ But I mean, the View was rly stupid and ridic about the Toronto couple that chose to not disclose the gender of their child... and I presume "The Talk" is not particularly better... -_-

Neways yeah.. just in case ppl can't intuit my position: ASSAULT IS WRONG, ASSAULTING SOMEBODY'S GENITALS IS WRONG, GENITAL MUTILATION IS WRONG, CUTTING SOMEBODY'S GENITALS IS WRONG, CHOPPING OFF A PERSON'S BODY PART IS WRONG >:O

And it's not FUNNY just cuz it happened to a man and you happen to be women >:\ Wrong is wrong. Assault is never f-ing funny >:\

*sighs* Gross >:\

No Seriously... has more information about who to write to (CBS) to protest this. I suggest ppl offended do so >:\

Ami teh economist

So apparently there's this blog w/ this person who hates casual sex... which is fine.. ppl can hate w/e they want xD But now she has a FLOW CHART that proves (PROVES!) that casual sex leads to ECONOMIC STAGNATION!!!!!!!! (the more !s the better xD)



also she considers RAPE an aspect of casual sex which is WTF O_O;;; TBF she doesn't say rape is a FORM of casual sex, just that having casual sex -> rape which leads to apparently giant monetary costs o_O I'm also unsure why being raped when you're DRUNK leads to MORE cost than if you're not o_O

She says:

Because it’s much harder to prosecute a rape case when the victim was intoxicated. Consent becomes murky, or at least it’s easy for the defense to make that claim. This is why most colleges fail to discipline students accused of sexual assualt – it’s difficult to prove, and if she went to his room drunk at 3am it’s nearly impossible.

But why would that cost more money? o_O In fact it might cost LESS money, since it might not even make it to trial (how is she measuring the costs of this stuff neways? o_O she DOES know that the complainant DOES NOT have to hire a defense lawyer right? or is this another assumption that rape trials are about the "accuser" vs the defendant rather than the state vs the defendant? o_O )

Either way.. this is disgusting... and hilarious! and disgusting >_<;;

Also casual sex DOES NOT lead to more rape, b/c.. well.. look if you went to the place of a guy who rapes you, does it matter if you WOULD have slept w/ him or not!? >_<;; Or does she assume if you're not interested in casual sex you would never go out w/ nebody ever neways? o_O No dates for those not interested in casual sex? No acquaintances? No going out? Just boardgames and checkers w/ the cat? o_O

I like the strawperson she uses about the "being passed out drunk w/ your breasts hanging out in a frathouse" thing too. So if your breasts weren't hanging out... then.. no rape? o_O Ppl who don't want sex, or are virgins can't get passed out drunk? o_O Oh ffs -_- I mean this is her just wanting to use rape as a beatstick for her ideology that casual sex is bad -_-

Also it leads to ECONOMIC STAGNATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (!!!!)

xD

I love the end too. I'M NOT AN ECONOMIST, BUT I DUN HAVE TO BE B/C COMMON SENSE! xD

I can do that too!

I'm not a mind reader but common sense tells me you're an asshat who has no idea what she's talking about and is making s- up to justify her personal mores.

Also ppl reading your posts lead to them spending time blogging about them rather than making crucial investments, which lead to ECONOMIC STAGNATIONN!!!!!!!

xD

Wow that was easy! xD

I had no idea being an economics expert took so little work xD

Edit: For a more serious (and sobering) discussion about the issues w/ her flow chart and her ideas re: rape, my friend Alex has a good write up about it :]

Ami vs Alternate Universes Part 6

This is the latest installment of the continuing story that I mentioned in my last post xD The whole thing can be found here. I mention this part b/c it's a nice counter point to the first part... straw MRA.. now straw radfeminism! xD

I actually kinda see this as a parable... it's basically the story of a girl who likes a guy, but all these philosophies and ideologies are getting in the way and making things super complicated... in one ideology she can't possibly like him except to use him, in the other he can't truly like her and she only likes him cuz of patriarchal brainwashing... xD and w/o further ado:

Ami Angelwings satirical story of doom! xD

So I wrote this over on the Manboobz Forums (we have forums now! xD ) and it started out as one thing but has evolved into something else xD I originally was just going to do straight up YA drama, b/c one of our MRA trolls was saying how women are catty and jealous and etc etc and I wondered why WE (the female members) weren't... so i decided we must be.. and started to write this xD But then I started to add in some of the MRAish type ideas... and then somebody else took the story in a ttlly different idea in part 2, and now it's become "Ami Angelwings trapped in parallel universes trying to get to her true love" xD The latest chapter (by me) has the situation now in a straw-radfem idea.. like the first chapter is a straw-MRA idea xD Neways! Enjoy! xD And if you like it you can read the whole thing (thus far) here

And awayyy we go:

The Kobiyashi Maru in an elevator at 4am

This isn't rly a post about the Skepchick/elevator issue b/c I think everything has been rly said about it (and if you're wondering, yeah I think Dawkins was wayyy off base, I think PZ Meyers has it about right, and Skepchick was talking about a v specific situation, not "every guy is creepy")

But what occurs to me in the wake of all the reaction I've seen and a lot of angry guys, etc saying basically that it's not fair.. that it's not fair that she found it creepy to be hit on, no matter how politely, in an elevator at 4am, that she's too afraid, or too indoctrinated by feminism, or etc.. i.e. that there should be SOME situation where she should have been picked up, and it's not fair that she basically said "no there wasn't" or that "feminism" had taught her that there wasn't... a lot of comments seemed to imply (tho to be fair, at least the ones I tried to pin down, did not explicitly say this) that she SHOULD have, or in some ideal situation (cuz the guy acted so nicely) should have gone back to his room w/ him -_-;; A lot of the focus on "but he asked so nicely, what more could he do!?" Well, maybe nothing. Is that so bad? o_O For XYZ reasons, she didn't want to go with him, she felt the situation was uncomfortable, at 4am in an enclosed space she felt unsafe, she was tired, etc etc....

And that's what I was thinking of and wanted to write about, not about whether she SHOULD have felt creeped out, or etc etc... but that she DID, and how to handle it), i.e. if you're trying to pick somebody up, sometimes there's NO WAY TO "WIN". It's like the Kobiyashi Maru (except that you can't reprogram it and get a commendation for original thinking xD tho I know Pick Up Artists think they can).. and ultimately if that happens, like the Kobiyashi Maru, the test is about how you HANDLE yourself. Do you move on? Do you listen if the person says why (as she did)? Do you decide that it was just that person and keep trying: (nothing wrong w/ that either, could v well be, even in this case :3 ) Do you blame women in general, or get angry at the person? etc etc...

I tried to flirt w/ and "pick up" a guy recently, I knew him a bit, and I liked him, and I didn't think he rly knew I existed. xD And it went pretty badly, and I even asked for advice from my friends before hand. xD He didn't seem to pick up on any signals, and ultimately, it turned out he was taken and I didn't know. So it wasn't about me.. or about him... and who knows, maybe he wasn't taken but he was tired and didn't notice the flirting, or he doesn't like me.. or... who knows xD But I'm going to move on and, like trying out for the baseball team, even if you dun make it, you still tried :]

The thing is, what a lot of the reactions I'm referring to above, reminded me of is this idea that EVERY SINGLE interaction between ppl should be able to have one person pick up another :\ Like in the elevator situation. Or the PUA stuff... where I've read forums of ppl who seem to think they can pick up women in a grocery store, or department stores, or jogging, or etc... about "game" and "neg" and w/e other techniques.. about how women are testing you by pretending to not like you etc etc etc... and the thing is.. sometimes... there's just no way. -_-; And I read a lot of "well you just gotta keep practicing game" or "you should have done XYZ" or something as if.. there IS a way to "win" as if it's a video game where there MUST be a way to beat the stage.. and sometimes there's NOT. Sometimes the lesson is about how you handle it, not what you should have done. :]

A lot of the time when ppl are shopping, they're just shopping... if they're jogging, they're jogging... maybe they're tired... or angry... or stressed... or a billion reasons xD Maybe it's 4am and they feel uncomfortable in an enclosed space and they're tired... and maybe one girl is okay w/ it but another isn't.. and for the one who isn't...

We aren't the only human players in a video game, and OTHER ppl aren't NPCs, they're humans too, w/ their own likes, dislikes, fears, worries, stressors, and LIVES... and sometimes... all of those intersect in a person who under some circumstances would be amenable to your advances... and sometimes they intersect and that person would NEVER be...

and that's not "unfair" that there was no way to "win"... that's life. :]

edit: I want to add that a lot of ppl seem to be acting as if there was some sort of objective way she SHOULD have thought, and acted on those thoughts. -_- And as if "creepy" wasn't something she "should" have thought, therefore it is a bad reason for her to say no. Which, cuz I know there's a broken telephone thing going on w/ what she actually did/said... is what she did. :\ She didn't accuse him of rape, she didn't have him locked up, she's not demanding he be locked up. She just said no. Let's keep what she "did" on that thought in perspective ok? :]

edit 2: And on the topic of "ppl fearing sexual assault", which she did not bring up (I know some ppl are saying she called him a potential rapist, I dun believe she actually said that, I think the topic of fears of sexual assault came up as part of the reaction to the reaction), look, whether or not you believe a person's fear of sexual assault is rational or not, THEY are ultimately the ones who have to live w/ it if it happens. Not us. THEM. And I'm using non-gendered terms, b/c if a man fears sexual assault and refuses to do something based on that fear, I think it's pretty unfair to say "gee, look at the stats, what ARE the chances?" cuz well it's up to them to decide the chances in a specific situation isn't it? Cuz you're asking them to roll dice with THEIR LIVES and their body -_-;;

To take it away from sexual assault, and into the issue of men's rights and something that comes up a lot, which is women entrapping men to have their children and paying child support. Regardless of how often I think it happens, if men judge a situation w/ a woman to be possibly that fear.. and dun want to engage... well I dun think they SHOULD HAVE TO. Even if I might think that fear is silly, it's not my life, and I wasn't in that situation, and I'm never going to say "NO, you should have done it!" Cuz I dun understand their fear, and it's easy for me not to understand their fear, cuz I'm not the one who feels they have to roll dice, THEY ARE, it's gonna be something they'd have to live w/.

Again, nobody is jailing nebody, nobody is advocating new laws, or assault, or that if women feel creeped out they should taser the man ahead of time -_-;; If a person feels unsafe about accepting an offer or going someplace, or etc etc, it's perfectly reasonable for them to act on their fears by saying "no" as Watson/Skepchick did :]

On that note I want to point out one more thing Watson did NOT say: "I really wanted to go up w/ him but I was afraid he'd be a rapist". She did not say she wanted to go but her fears stopped her, so concern trolls stop doing the "I feel so bad that her fear of rapists kept her from having fun" crap ok? -__-

Ami on how anti-oppression dynamics CAN be used in abusive relationships, and should be recognized :3

edit: I've redone the videos to be louder and say everything I wanted to say :3

(note I'm going to heavily moderate the comments here to avoid derails)

This is a vlog I made about a subject I wanted to talk about but is sensitive.. it's about how anti-oppression dynamics (oppression/privilege/etc) can be used in abusive relationships and in abusive ways... it's something that I'm sure ppl KNOW or at least have felt happens, but b/c of the critics who say that feminism/anti-racism/anti-oppression/etc are innately this or are the dominant narrative in society therefore this happens all the time (the trope of "a white man will always lose against a black woman" etc) and the fear of "if you give an inch, they'll take a mile", it is something that I dun hear said v often, or called out when it happens... and I think somebody does need to say stuff on it.. so I will :3

To clarify, this is not that abuse happens ALL the time in the anti-oppression comm, but it CAN, esp (imo) if it becomes too insular, and forgetting that privilege is about interactions outside of the anti-oppression comm not in one where everybody alrdy subscribes to anti-oppression dynamics :\

Jawa attack prevention tips for droids xD

I'm watching a New Hope and I just saw the scene w/ R2D2 getting electro-blasted by those Jawas while he was going alone thru a deserted canyon and I was thinking "wait... so they were hiding there all along waiting for a random lonely droid to wander thru the canyon? xD"

that's pretty much how I feel about a lot of "rape prevention" tips.. like Cosmo's idea that guys are hiding along every stretch of highway rdy to jump you xD

Trans March 2011! :D

Today was Trans March! :D I wore my wings! (as I should since I'm Ami ANGELWINGS xD ) and it was pretty fun! Except that I was holding a banner -_- And was w/ the one woman who got more attn than me xD Which is fine, and I got tons of pix taken neways and ppl wanting to pose w/ me xD It was just amusing xD

Also there was a breakaway group who marched down Yonge St. which I wanted to do too, but was told they we weren't.. if I knew they were doing it, I would have... cuz we SHOULD >:| The other 2 marches (Dyke March and Pride) do... and we just walk down Church thru the village >:\ Why not us? -_-;;

But neways! it was still fun and I have a few pix of it :D








That is all :3

Apparently you fall not b/c of gravity but b/c you sinned AGAINST gravity xD

This makes me laugh far too much XD I can't believe it's serious (but apparently it is? o_O It looks SO ridic XD ) Maybe they wouldn't have to keep asking for donations if they cut out all the superfluous special FX (what's W/ the background? and the random flying words xD and the vortex that keeps vanishing and coming back xD )

My favourite is his argument that "IF YOU VIOLATE THE LAWS OF NATURE YOU SUFFER CONSEQUENCES" and uses examples like "if you jump off a cliff, you die" xD

Um... that's... not... punishment... for... challenging... nature xD

Apparently it's not cuz of just a consequence of gravity, it's a MORAL consequence of pissing off gravity by trying to defy it xD

Also, idiotbox, if you fall and you LIVE, it's not like we walk by and SHOOT YOU b/c you SHOULD have been punished for your moral sin of defying gravity XDDD (or shooting ppl for using a hang glider xD)

I'm far too amused by this XDD (and what's w/ his HAIR o_o)