Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Reviewing Ami has a new review :D

I wrote a new review!

It's of the Star Trek graphic novel, Khan - Ruling In Hell, by IDW Publishing :)

I rly enjoyed it and found it SURPRISINGLY deep :)

Check it out if interested! :D (sry reviews are taking so long.. it's a lot harder to write out what happens when it's not a 22 page floppy :( )

Sunday, May 29, 2011

o_O WTH? xD So bizarre, I had to share it xD

I just got the most bizarre responses from some guy on TheStar.com about the "genderless baby" (I hate that nickname) -_-;;;

May 29, 2011 3:43 PM

It's odd that ppl who argue about biological nature, and things are fixed, and every guy and girl is a clone of every other guy and girl (and even if you don't believe in socialization, differences between "genders" are just statistical trends over massive groups, there's so much overlap, much less ppl who don't it in those trends there, just b/c MORE guys like blue than pink doesn't mean ALL guys do, but we keep making these fallacies w/ statistics) then why are you so afraid of freedom for the child? why will they be "confused" without ppl defining or suggesting what they should like and be by their genitals? it's like people who say being hetero is the true nature of every person but then claim that if you don't keep encouraging kids to be straight in school and demonizing homosexuality they'll turn gay... that doesn't sound very "natural" to me xD

Paul B
May 29, 2011 9:35 PM

@aurora angel
Interesting that you choose an asexual moniker, denying your human, non-angelic nature. The same gnostic cult ideology that saw this messy real world as 'evil'. You are so out of touch with reality that you actually state that one's sex is simply a matter of one's genitalia. How bizarre is that! There are more differnnces between the sexes than there are between species! You write as the perfect brainwashed modern ideologue. Am I "afraid" about ideologues like you sowing confusion in innocent young minds? Absolutely. As Michael Gurion and Stepehn Rhoads have shown, this ideology is 100 miles wide and a millimeter deep.

Paul B
May 29, 2011 9:39 PM

As a sweet little asexual 'angel' as your moniker suggests, you probably fell from the top of a Christmas tree, but most of use have a reason to celebrate the role of the sexes. It's called our existence. It's how we got here, though you were perhaps sheltered from such harsh truths. Human sexuality is simply wonderful and creative, and pointing out that homosexual attraction doesn't even remotely jibe with what is trully natural is simple biology, not 'demonizing'. Demonizing heterosexuality and people defending it, is equally perverse, even for an asexual self-styled 'angel'. Consider finding a more humble moniker more in line with the confused ideology. Angels are free of bodies, but that doesn't mean having one is a bad thing.

See.. WTH!? xD

A) I have no idea how those are responses to ANYTHING I said xD B) what's his obsession w/ my name? o_O C) why is he picking on ME xD 2 rapid fire comments in a thread of dozens who disagree w/ him xD

Also... I guess the "more differences between genders than species" thing is the usual faux evo psych crap w/ "kangaroos fight over women , and so do humans! see see, gender innate differences!" (I've actually seen this used a few times by these sorts xD ) and what not -_-;; We are the EVERY animal... >_> (incl ones that evolved on a giant island so differently that they have their own classification xD)

I love the picking on my "asexual" name xD As opposed to "Jibee" "LeafsnationFLA" "JTink17" "spec3" "inthecity" to name just a few that are on that thread xD

I seem to have rly angered him o_o;;; It's so bizarre I just had to share it xD What a weirdo o_o;;

Also the random anti-angel bigotry! :O It is offensive to 1/4 of my heritage! xD

What an amazing mother and an amazing response to the asshats :)

The mother of Storm responded to the media criticism and it is AMAZING and beautiful :)

My response is to paraphrase what I remember somebody saying a long time ago when a certain blogger criticized the way I write and suggested I was a Stephen Colbertesque satire and a pile on ensued in the comments and I responded trying to clarify that I write for me and I was real and to judge me on that :) So I'm going to repeat what I remember that person saying cuz it is how I feel about her letter so much:

"I dare you ppl to say anything bad about her after that."


I'm also incl the full letter under the cut just in case ppl dun want to click the link :)

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Dear media: it's not the parents who are obsessed w/ genitals and gender.. it's YOU

I am getting pretty sick and tired of the media attacking the Toronto family who hid their child's gender. (somehow this has morphed into them raising the kids to be genderless, as if they frown on them identifying as a gender, which is freakishly untrue if ppl bothered to read the original Star article, which btw is the only source for this since THEY ARE NOT GIVING INTERVIEWS)

I hate that the whole world has picked it up and somehow are blaming the PARENTS for them picking it up and being jerks about it -_-;; Now the media is like rapists is like animals apparently -_-;; NOBODY CAN HELP THEMSELVES! IT'S UP TO YOU TO RUN AND HIDE!

I dun think when the parents talked to the Star (the paper local to where they lived) they expected it to turn into this thing. Maybe that was naive, but it's still on the rest of the media and us who READ the media to not be jerks about it >:\ Like it's on bullies not to bully, not ppl to avoid bullying >:| They aren't seeking their 15 minutes of fame (as I said, they're refusing all interviews now), I suspect they just thought that it would help ppl to know of a different way of parenting (which I agree, and I think they are super brave and awesome for doing this, it gave me hope for the future :) and I know SO MANY ppl who think this is awesome too :) ) and somehow it's become this b-s firestorm.

This article in particular pisses me off

For 2 big reasons...

It should take people about 30 seconds to figure out the fallacy here: If you keep the sex of a child secret, you are making it the most important thing about that child, not the least.

Witness the online poll that asked if readers think little Storm is a boy or girl. Last time I looked, more than 4,000 had voted, and an overwhelming percentage – 81 per cent – think Storm is a boy. Storm is now the only infant in Canada with apparently “unambiguous” genitalia whose sex is being voted on by the general public. If I were the child’s parents, I would not feel comfortable about that. Nor would I be about a Today show poll in which, out of 52,000 respondents, 89 per cent gave a thumbs-down to this social experiment.

And online polls just.... grow out of trees? -_-;; Ppl voting in online polls have no choice but to do so? THE PARENTS did not make this into a big deal, YOU DID! The PARENTS are not fascinated w/ what's between a child's legs... YOU ARE

This is the same bullshit trans ppl have to deal w/ and intersex ppl (like Caster Semenya when she was the spotlight of gender probing media), that b/c our bodies are different or perceived/imagined to be different, the whole world thinks that our biology is their f-ing business, and that our genitals and medical condition is their business >:o Do ppl regularly think that whether their neighbours have erectile dysfunction, how much viagra they take, if they have hemorrhoids or cancer, or had an organ donation is their business? Would they feel comfortable just walking up to somebody and asking? Or speculating about it in public? Because we get this s- ALL THE TIME, ppl just feel like our bodies are their business. It's not the parents who did this, it's our society, and our society ideas about ppl whose gender or gender identity dun meet what ppl are used to, and how open to public scrutiny ppl believe we are and sould be >:O

Nobody is forcing ppl to be obsessed with this. It's not "natural" (tho I'm sure some pop evo psych will come up w/ some reason why back in the cave days ppl amused themselves by snickering at Angler fish or something), it's what ppl choose to be obsessed about and be jerks about and society and the media is encouraging them and shifting blame from nosy jerks to the family "OH THEY ASKED FOR THIS!", look even if they DID, they aren't NOW! They've even SAID to leave them alone. So um... now they're asking for you to leave them alone? Will you? (and dun give me the WELL OTHER PPL ARE JERKS I CAN'T CONTROL WHAT THEY DO, you can control what YOU do)


“... In not telling the gender of my precious baby, I am saying to the world, ‘Please can you just let Storm discover for him/herself what s(he) wants to be?!.” Ms. Witterick wrote in an e-mail to the Star.

Is this remotely realistic? By not identifying the baby as a boy or girl, the parents have given him/her no starting place from which to build a secure sexual and gender identity. Moreover, identifying as a girl when you are a boy or vice versa is not a decision enabled by parents. Feeling trapped in an opposite-sex body can be an excruciating process. Kids don't “choose” it, and some have killed themselves because of it.

That's the other thing that pisses me off. That's also the thing that confuses the F- out of me. Every trans person I know (and I can't speak for EVERY trans person, but of the ones I know) thinks this is a good idea, and yeah, it's obv self interest, but so many of us wish we had this freedom as a child too! D: Closed minded ppl who hate this have NO IDEA, they have NO IDEA what it's like to grow up w/ a gender alrdy assigned to you pushed on you and everything that you are gets defined by that.

I've read SO MUCH stuff from columnists recently throwing up their hands and claiming "oh no, not me! I know I raise my child with gender but I never told them what gender to be!" Except you DO! It's subtle sometimes as well as direct. Nobody thinks of it b/c cisgenderedness is the NORM, it's DEFAULT, we dun THINK ABOUT IT >:O As the parents in the original Star article said, the flood of pink and blue starts the 2nd ppl know the gender of your child: the toys they choose to give, even the adjectives they use (strong vs pretty, big vs cute, "big, strong boy" "pretty, cute girl", applauding boys for growing, applauding girls for being thin, etc etc)

And the other thing is: you can claim all you want that you never actively told your kid that they HAD to be their gender or else, my parents didn't either, but I WAS A KID! How the hell was I supposed to know there was an option!? (I know some ppl express it very early on in their childhood, but others keep quiet, or just have no idea that there is another option) When I used to say I wanted to be a girl, or wanted to play w/ like dolls (not that dolls = girl, I know it's confusing and ppl want to hear what they want to hear, but I happen to be kinda stereotypical in the things I like, and also the ones that weren't allowed to me are the ones that obv stick out, I like superheroes too, that was never a problem, but I'm talking about BOTH gender identity AND individual preference, at the same time, but I'm not conflating them), I got told they're not for me, and silly kid, you're not a girl! -_-;; And I got beaten up at school and bullied and spat at and ppl throwing things at me to make me cry, b/c I was the "boy" that cried and hung around girls... so I had no starting point or safe place in my life to figure out what gender I was, much less who I wanted to be, what interests I liked (I always had sports forced into me, and esp older, where changing in male lockerrooms was one of the most terrifying exp of my youth... imagine a girl being forced to be in a guy's lockerroom every day)...

It's not about saying "go pick your gender", it's about giving the child freedom to figure out who they are! >:O The parents aren't FORCING their kids to be trans, or not trans, or choosing the identity for the kid (for that matter the parents are not AGAINST stereotypical gendered behaviour EITHER, they're against picking that for the child when they're 1 years old and are malleable and conditioning them that they should like it >:O ) they are letting the kids find themselves! And I literally want to cry at how AWESOME THAT IS!

And btw, some ppl DO choose their gender, or have no gender, or move between genders, whether gender identity is a choice for everybody doesn't mean that it should not be respected and that it's not REAL for some of us, and that for those who are genderqueer or have other gender identities, or shift identities, who cares whether it's genetic, or innate, it's reality, and it's HUMAN BEINGS who feel this way, and what skin is it off nebody's back to us leave us the f- alone to be ourselves!?

And yeah it's self interest for those of us who didn't grow up fine w/ sticking to the gender binary, but I know a ton of cis ppl who also think that the parents are not harming their child :) I mean if cissexual gender identity or gender stereotypes are SO INNATE and SO pure and so natural like all these critics of the parents are saying, then what is the fear? Even if you tell a cis boy that they can be whoever they like, they'll still end up being a boy and identifying as a boy (and if they like trucks, they'll end up playing with trucks, and if they like baseball, they'll play baseball).

It's like the Christian homophobes who go on and on about how you can't change nature and everybody is straight and blah blah blah, but then talk about how schools teaching queer acceptance is turning kids gay. xD Or all the fear about "OH MY GOD BOYS ARE BEING FEMINIZED NOW" and how boys need to be taught to be rough and tumble in schools, and have to be taught math, not English (or English, not math, depending on which gender stereotype person is talking xD ) and they need discipline (or freedom) and play more sports (or less sports and more rote training) and how WE ARE FEMINIZING THEIR NATURAL BOY MASCULINE NATURE! And that we NEED TO FORCE CHECKING IN BOYS HOCKEY OR THEY WILL BECOME GIRLS (e_e)

If these things are SO NATURAL, why does it sound like in order to get ppl to be in their "natural" state we need to basically condition them and that giving them freedom to find themselves will lead them to be "unnatural"? o_O;; That's very natural >_>;;; And if it IS natural, then YOU HAVE NOTHING TO BE SCARED ABOUT!


And I'm rly offended by the Globe and Mail hiding behind trans ppl and our high suicide rate and claiming they are somehow protecting us, or that the parents are somehow insulting us. >:O Hay f-ing cis ppl, let US SPEAK FOR OURSELVES OKAY!?

And at least THIS trans girl thinks that what these parents are doing is f-ing AWESOME and you need to shove your fears and trans ignorance and cis privilege up your cat hole! >:O WTF is it YOUR business what genitals their children have?

I think this whole thing proves just how it's CIS society that's obsessed with genitals, not trans ppl. It's CIS society that always goes on and on about GRS w/ trans ppl as if it's the end all and be all of our transition. It's cis society that was obsessed with Caster Semenya's genitals. And it's cis society now that's obsessed with what gender Storm is, not trans ppl, not zir parents, not even STORM... it's the media, and it's all the idiots in the comments in the newspapers >:O You know what makes one obsessed with their genitals? When they are forced to identify as a gender they don't, when they grow up taught by ppl they trust and love, that they're who they're not, and struggle their whole lives to figure out who they are in a society and media that in general (tho thankfully that might be changing, and I hope it changes more and more) doesn't PROVIDE THEM WITH A NARRATIVE that they can be who they are! >:O

When I was depressed, suicidal and repressing so much, THEN I was obsessed with gender and genitals. And I hated myself and tried every day to fit a gender stereotype, more and more, to "pass" as "male", worried about how I sat and how I talked and seeing myself in the third person in my head... I was KEENLY aware of my gender. Now, I dun obsess about or think of my gender identity or expression (tho obv I do experiment and grow and change, as nebody else does :) ) I know who I am. I'm a girl, and I am awesome >:D (other ppl however are the ones obsessed w/ that stuff about me >_< )

The media and columnists and commenters that all are talking about how the parents are focusing on gender, or forcing their kid to, um NO, YOU are, it's YOU, you're projecting! It's YOU who is obsessed w/ their gender, simply by having polls, voting on polls and writing all these articles. YOU'RE THE ONES.

So quit it! >:O If the world is going to make life difficult on Jazz and his siblings, it's cuz of media like this, and cuz of reporters and columnists that are obsessing over this and commenters that feel like it's their duty to be a bully. If they are going to be picked on in the future it'll be b/c of ACTUAL THINKING INDVIDUAL HUMAN BEINGS who choose to be asshole bullies (and yes, THAT is a choice) and who choose to raise their kids as close minded asshole bullies. So if these ppl RLY care about bullying and bullied children and the future that this family might face, as they claim in the comments section, then guess what! THEY CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! DON'T BULLY and teach your kids not to be asshats and to accept variation! It's not that hard! >:O (and dun give me this kids will be kids bullshit, kids don't appear out of the womb w/ some innate idea of what's "normal" in 21st century culture of their nation or community)

I think what this family is doing is incredibly brave and incredibly thoughtful and caring towards their children, and I hope ppl eventually leave them alone (I can only imagine how many calls Toronto Children's Aid must have gotten in the past week) and let them just live their lives. I hope they know that not everybody judges them or hates them or thinks they're abusing their children, some of us (including my mom btw, so yeah even the parents of trans kids) think they are pretty awesome :)

Friday, May 27, 2011

Awful frightening news :( And happy Ami pic! :D

This is gross and terrible >:O (the ruling, not the protests)

Even if it's not happening where I am, expansion of police powers and curtailing of our own rights in the face of it is always scary to me :\

Also here is a pic of me just saying hi to my readers and friends :D (I dun particularly think it's flattering but other ppl seem to like it so here you go :D )

Thursday, May 26, 2011

:O Poor dog :( But amazing that he crawled his way home despite being so injured :O *hugs dogster* :(

Dog crawls home on broken legs 3 weeks after tornado

Mason, a one-year-old terrier mix, was hiding in his family’s garage in the Birmingham suburb of North Smithfield on April 27, when he was sucked out by the massive tornado that destroyed whole neighbourhoods and killed more than 40 people.

Despite days of desperate searching by his owners, who asked not to be named and are not granting media interviews, Mason was nowhere to be found. With most of the garage destroyed, family members resigned themselves to the likelihood that their four-legged pal did not survive the ordeal.

Then, three weeks later, the family arrived home one day to find their beloved pooch, mouth agape and stumpy tail wagging like crazy, sitting on the front porch.

Fearing their resilient little friend might not be long for the world, the family immediately took Mason to the Birmingham-Jefferson County Animal Control Shelter.

“He was emaciated and his two front legs were literally flopping below the elbows,” said Phil Doster, adoption and rescue coordinator at Animal Control. “Mason literally had to crawl on his elbows to get back. The little guy had no indication of pain, remarkably. He was just happy to be home.”

Instead of euthanizing the pup, Animal Control contacted the nearby Vulcan Park Animal Care Clinic to see if a surgeon was available to save Mason’s life.

When the clinic heard the remarkable tale of survival, it immediately offered to take X-rays and make an attempt to get Mason healthy again.

“One of our surgeons offered up his services, free of charge, and on Friday Mason underwent three-and-a-half hours of fairly invasive surgery,” recounted Chuck Eagar, a manager and veterinarian technician at Vulcan Park Animal Clinic.

“He’s got two metal plates and several pins in his legs, but he’s doing great. He’s eating and drinking well. He’s got a lot of heart and a great personality.”

Awwwww this makes me want to cry D: Poor dog! D: Also yay awesome determined dog! :D

Monday, May 23, 2011

Ami the Conquerer >:D

Today is a holiday so Happy Victoria Day to all Canadians! :D I feel bad that my US friends can't have a day off, so I have a plan :D You should be able to take the day off if your state has a hockey team.... since I mean that makes you pretty close to being Canadian right? xD

I think Canada should claim all states with hockey teams. :D If you dun want to be part of Canada, perhaps you should not have a hockey team xD (darn Georgia just slipped out of our grasp before we could enact our brilliant plan xD Glendale seems DESPERATE to have Arizona join our grand nation tho xD)

That is all :D

Happy dead royal day! :D

Rawr! >:O Person calls 911 on gay couple making out -__-;;

Woman calls 911 to report 2 men kissing on a park bench

This would be worse if this wasn't a hidden camera show by ABC news but she didn't know that >_> so it's still wtf >_<;;

Srsly... what's it to you? >_>;; Mind your own business!

I'm a little disturbed that queer ppl and queer bashing/discrimination are this fascinating little social experiment to ABC news tho :\ (at least the actors actually ARE a couple :3 )

Esp when they kinda treat it like a game and IRL an upset 911 call might be the least of our worries if ppl are homophobic >:\

ALSO wtf was w/ that police officer. He only left after he was called off by his superiors who let him know this was an ABC prank, NOT b/c it was wrong or not a crime or nething >:\ What was he going to do before that call? o_O;; (hidden camera shows in general kinda annoy me >_> tho maybe ppl there will think twice before trying to be homophobic jerks now cuz they're worried their homophobia will be on national tv :\ )

Personally, I think there should be an opposite 911 where you can call and say that things are great! :D 6911! :D xDDDD

Saturday, May 21, 2011

This is pretty awesome :D

Parents keep child's gender a secret

While there’s nothing ambiguous about Storm’s genitalia, they aren’t telling anyone whether their third child is a boy or a girl.

The only people who know are Storm’s brothers, Jazz, 5, and Kio, 2, a close family friend and the two midwives who helped deliver the baby in a birthing pool at their Toronto home on New Year’s Day.

“When the baby comes out, even the people who love you the most and know you so intimately, the first question they ask is, ‘Is it a girl or a boy?’” says Witterick, bouncing Storm, dressed in a red-fleece jumper, on her lap at the kitchen table.

“If you really want to get to know someone, you don’t ask what’s between their legs,” says Stocker.

When Storm was born, the couple sent an email to friends and family: “We've decided not to share Storm's sex for now — a tribute to freedom and choice in place of limitation, a stand up to what the world could become in Storm's lifetime (a more progressive place? ...).”

Their announcement was met with stony silence. Then the deluge of criticisms began. Not just about Storm, but about how they were parenting their other two children.

The grandparents were supportive, but resented explaining the gender-free baby to friends and co-workers. They worried the children would be ridiculed. Friends said they were imposing their political and ideological values on a newborn. Most of all, people said they were setting their kids up for a life of bullying in a world that can be cruel to outsiders.

Witterick and Stocker believe they are giving their children the freedom to choose who they want to be, unconstrained by social norms about males and females. Some say their choice is alienating.

In an age where helicopter parents hover nervously over their kids micromanaging their lives, and tiger moms ferociously push their progeny to get into Harvard, Stocker, 39, and Witterick, 38, believe kids can make meaningful decisions for themselves from a very early age.

“What we noticed is that parents make so many choices for their children. It’s obnoxious,” says Stocker.

Jazz and Kio have picked out their own clothes in the boys and girls sections of stores since they were 18 months old. Just this week, Jazz unearthed a pink dress at Value Village, which he loves because it “really poofs out at the bottom. It feels so nice.” The boys decide whether to cut their hair or let it grow.

Like all mothers and fathers, Witterick and Stocker struggle with parenting decisions. The boys are encouraged to challenge how they’re expected to look and act based on their sex.

“We thought that if we delayed sharing that information, in this case hopefully, we might knock off a couple million of those messages by the time that Storm decides Storm would like to share,” says Witterick.

They don’t want to isolate their kids from the world, but, when it’s meaningful, talk about gender.

This past winter, the family took a vacation to Cuba with Witterick’s parents. Since they weren’t fluent in Spanish, they flipped a coin at the airport to decide what to tell people. It landed on heads, so for the next week, everyone who asked was told Storm was a boy. The language changed immediately. “What a big, strong boy,” people said.

The moment a child’s sex is announced, so begins the parade of pink and barrage of blue. Tutus and toy trucks aren’t far behind. The couple says it only intensifies with age.

“In fact, in not telling the gender of my precious baby, I am saying to the world, ‘Please can you just let Storm discover for him/herself what s (he) wants to be?!.” Witterick writes in an email.

That's pretty awesome! :D Tho I hate all the assholes out there who are making life difficult for their children :( But I dun blame these parents at ALL (I know the gut reaction of some ppl would be to say they're "endangering" their kids, but I think bullies, and a culture that tacitly supports the bullying of children and homophobia and transphobia and obsession with gender norms is endangering kids >:O ) it's just awful that kids at the playground are using transphobic/sexist language alrdy :( And I KNOW that's not natural >:O

This also puts to rest the idea that gender identity is socially constructed, since even tho one of the kids appears to some ppl to be a girl and likes to wear his hair in ways that our society reads as "feminine" he strongly identifies as a boy. :] Nor does it mean that being trans doesn't exist either, since this is just a roll of a dice xD We dunno if any of the kids will identify as a gender other than they were assigned, or identify w/ a gender at all! :D But at least they won't have pressure to force themselves into one :) (I'm SURE some ppl are pointing to Jazz, assuming he's cis, the bullying implies he is... but we dunno that... and using him to show that SEE SEE TRANSSEXUALITY IS A LIE -__-)

But this is pretty awesome :D I always thought in an ideal world, kids would be able to choose how they identify and find out for themselves who they are, but I couldn't rly think of how (even I'M not immune to social ideas and narratives of how things "should" be xD), but this is pretty good :)

BAH on the Star for needing to interview Zucker about this >_<;; He seems more intrigued than jerky tho... but then I suspect he'll STOP being so if one of their children decides to transition and that's what they mean that he "leans towards nurture" cuz he thinks transsexuality is some screw up that happens while we're being raised and you can fix us by essentially torturing us by forcing gendered stereotype things on us >_<;;; So he's hedging his bets w/ this "there are nurture stuff everywhere!" in case one of the kids is trans. -_-;;

IGNORING BARON ZUCKO tho.... so far so awesome :D

Thursday, May 19, 2011



The Atlanta Thrashers have reached an agreement to sell the team to True North Sports and Entertainment which will move the team to Winnipeg! :D


YAYYYYYYYY!!!!! :3 I bet you every Canadian NHL fan will be cheering for the Jets as their 2nd team after their home team next year :D I know I will :3

Now Quebec City just needs to get the Coyotes and bring the Nordiques back >:3

I'm super happy for the hockey fans in Winnipeg right now :D Your long wait is over :D

Also it's the end times... Canada is getting our NHL teams back! xDDD

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Apparently cis men can't be topless either if they could be "deemed" to be female -_-;;

Bookstore chain censors magazine cover of topless male model

A major U.S. bookstore chain has censored the cover of the latest Dossier Journal fashion magazine, which depicts an androgynous male model with his shirt off.

Barnes & Noble requested that the magazines be sold in black, opaque plastic bags at the publisher’s expense because “the model is young and it could be deemed as a naked female,” according to reports.

The move shocked Dossier’s staff, and local censorship experts are calling the explanation “bogus.”

Other media have also reported that another chain, Borders, is censoring the magazine cover, but a company spokesperson told the Star it never made such a request. Barnes & Noble could not be reached for comment.

Oh FFS -_-;; So apparently even cis men being topless is "lewd" if they might be "deemed" to be a woman? -_-;; If this stupidity doesn't put the lie to our arbitrary gender divisions and assumptions in society, I dunno what does -_-;;;

Plus it shows just how much our perception of gender is based on social construction (make up, pose, size of body, facial features, etc) and not on what's between ppl's legs like all the transphobes love to talk about >_>;;

Riding in cars with rape myths

Note: This post was originally published on May 12 2011, but was wiped out in the blogger server roll back on May 14 :( They gave me it back in draft form so this is a repost :) This post is a sequel and meant to come AFTER but now it comes before xD

I'm blogging a lot today. -_-;; It's just one of those days xD I have a lot of thoughts on my mind o_o;;;

The one right now was inspired by some comment in a blog where a guy said that a woman who broke down on the road and didn't have a man around to change her tire so she has to do it is "asking to be raped". >_>;; Ignoring all the MANY MANY MANY things wrong w/ that statement (that women ask to be raped, that women can avoid rape, and the usual way of threatening rape on women who don't act the way you want them to, or break "femininity")... WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THE IDEA THAT WOMEN ARE MOST LIKELY TO BE RAPED WHEN DRIVING!? o_O;;

You see it every so often in the news, or in newspapers...

Cosmo's entire "tips to avoid rape" section is devoted to it (not that I think Cosmo is a bastion of good advice at any time, but it's an example not an outlier, Cosmo is definitey not alone in perpetuating "rape prevention tips" that are based on rape myths)

Your car can feel like a comfy little cocoon, but driving solo can put you at risk for a violent attack, rape, or worse.

Um... honestly, being in your car alone is prolly one of LEAST likely times you'll be raped -_-;; It puts you at LESS risk statistically than like... being at home... being with family... being with a spouse... dating... being at school... being stopped/arrested by the police... etc... (that's not to say police or family or spouses ARE ALL rapists, but statistically, more rapes are committed by acquaintances or people with some authority or position over the survivor), but then... you can't have a Cosmo article saying "always suspect your spouse/date/family member/pastor/etc... which is the thing about rape, you CAN'T predict or prevent it with a manual or a guide, b/c rapists are not creepy stalkers who run around at night -_- They are usually ppl who you know or trust, OR are in a situation where they feel they have power or can get away with it (hence why the disabled are twice as likely to be raped as the non disabled population, or why elderly ppl are at high risk to be raped too, and children). If we had a guide about how to avoid any situation where you could be raped, or anybody who could rape you, it'd be 5000 pages thick and at the end, nobody could interact with nebody in their lives again. >_>;;

So WTF is this idea about women at most risk of rape when they're driving? -_-;; Is it slasher movies? TV crime shows where there's a breakdown and a serial killer is right there? Or where walking in an isolated area means a guy will come up and kidnap you?

I think that those things FEED the idea, but they come from the same place this fear comes from.... which is 2 things. One is the idea that the more alone a woman is, the more at danger she is. Which is true at a POINT. Isolation can lead to vulnerability. But isolation does not just have to be about being in a giant field. Domestic abusers try to isolate their victims from friends and family... date rapists want to get the victim alone too. :\ Isolation provides what I said above: vulnerability and the perceived safety of the rapist to "get away with it" (like any predator).

BUT at some point isolation leads to something else: a lot less chance of being AROUND ANYBODY INCLUDING RAPISTS. Rape needs a RAPIST, and if NOBODY IS AROUND, you're not likely to be raped. (if it were the opposite, the tundra would be the highest place for rape.. or mountain climbers) The fallacy comes from the idea of situations like being in danger in a city park. Except a city park isn't REALLY isolated, it's just relatively isolated, there are still many ppl who would be around, so even if (hypothetically) we BELIEVE that city parks are more dangerous, it doesn't mean it's cuz of isolation and MORE isolation = MORE rape. (also a lot of ppl dun seem to understand just how trained women alrdy are to be wary of strangers in the dark, to always be aware of who's around, do ppl think that they're the FIRST ONES in our society to warn women of stranger rape?) EVEN IF you believe in the myth that most rapists are guys who wait around stalking for victims, that myth has to give way to the realities of GEOGRAPHY and practicality -_-;; (the other part of what feeds this myth is cuz bodies are sometimes found in woods, fields and sides of roads... but that's not cuz that's where they're RAPED/kidnapped/killed, it's cuz that's where the bodies are DUMPED -_-)

Do the ppl at Cosmo, or various other ppl who spread this myth ACTUALLY BELIEVE that rapists have all staked out their 200m of highway and are waiting there night after night in the cold darkness being hungry and sleepy waiting and praying for a lone woman to break down in their 200m? xD THIS IS GONNA BE THE NIGHT, I JUST KNOW IT! Like what are the CHANCES!?

But that's the thing isn't it? And it leads to the SECOND thing that works with the first (idea that isolation = rape) and that's the inability to control for the feared situation. It's just like the fear of kids being kidnapped rather than raped by ppl they know :( B/c we feel we have NO control over it, it seems like it's MORE dangerous, even if INCREDIBLY UNLIKELY. If it could happen at ANY time, then it might as well be happening EVERY TIME, and b/c the situation is so frightening and more so by the fact that you can't know WHEN, our brains end up feeling like it's by far the RISKIEST and most likely thing. -_-;; But it's not... :\ And it's not just that the chances of running into a rapist on the side of a road is low, it's that they're probably not there AT ALL. This isn't an RPG where the enemies can be anywhere and a random number generator determines an enemy encounter -_-;; As I said, besides that MOST rapists are NOT strangers, even stranger rapists know better than hanging around an empty stretch of a thousand mile highway at night hoping to get a victim who won't fight back and won't get away or etc etc etc -_-;; And that's assuming YOU BREAK DOWN. ALL of those factors together mean that driving in a quiet stretch is prolly the LEAST likely time you'll be raped (and driving in the city is prolly safer than WALKING in the city given that it's unlikely ppl can get INSIDE your car when you're driving it xD

But as amusing as these silly ideas are and while I enjoy poking holes at the idea of what reality would have to be like where driving on the highway puts you at highest risk of being raped, it's still yet another myth that's added to ALL the myths of rape and contributes to our society NOT UNDERSTANDING what rape is, what rape is about, who's most likely at risk, where and esp WHY. -_-;;

Cuz ultimately where these rape myths and "prevention tips" come from and also paradoxically leads TO is the fear of the "psychopath" rapist as the real, main threat against women. It's a threat that's so easy and seductive for ppl, esp those that want rape to be a distant thing (which tends to be ppl who dun have to live their lives w/ it as part of their reality) to latch onto. It gives them a "face" to put to the crime: somebody unambiguously evil, unlike "normal people" and he's easy to fear b/c he can be ANYWHERE, and if he can be ANYWHERE, then he might as well be EVERYWHERE. And THAT is why you get all these tips basically telling women they should leave their homes as little as possible, and drive as little as possible, and well, live as little as possible, cuz you NEVER KNOW who the "psychopath" (I use the word in quotes b/c ppl who are mentally ill are actually WAY more likely to BE raped than rape) might be, or where he might be. All it takes is one mistake, one bad luck encounter right? So the only way to limit your risk is to live your life as little as possible.

And that's also what makes it so TEMPTING to believe in him as the omnipresent threat (and yus, serial rapists DO exist, but they're way more rare and are responsible for WAY less rapes than "common knowledge" implies) b/c then the threat is out THERE, away from our social groups and families, and if it's OUT THERE it can be avoided, and we can be safe by locking our doors, avoiding open spaces and not changing our tires if we get a flat. -_-;;

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Ami IMcast: Convo w/ Zhinxy on PUAs, dating and hilarity xD

Note: This post was originally published on May 12 2011, but was wiped out in the blogger server roll back on May 14 :( They gave me it back in draft form so this is a repost :)

Just cuz this was fun, I wanted to share it :D

It's a convo w/ Zhinxy I just had where we talked about this idea that women will only sleep with rich men and that lying about being rich will get you one night stands, and then led into the hilarious world of "Pick Up Artists" (and some of the other guys you sometimes see online the "nice guys" who rate girls from 0-10 and whine about the "alpha males") and their theories of "game" (tactics to "get" women), "shit test" (stuff women do arbitrarily to frustrate men and test them), and etc etc xD This is pretty much how I feel about these stupid stereotypes and how they apply pretty much only to TV world and a VERY narrow stereotypical idea of LA nightclubbing and one night stands... and not to ALL WOMEN AND ALL RELATIONSHIPS and esp not for actual dating to get a date xD

Also the idea of "alpha" and "beta" males that some guys (+ the news media and pop evo psych) have that ppl can't even keep straight (is the alpha the 6'4" buff handyman, or the guy rich enough to afford him? xD ) plus their hilarious idea that they aren't superficial or care about status like women EXCEPT they ttlly do xD

it's like how when I meet guys there's so many guys that NEED to know my clothing size even tho, y'know I'm THIN, they aren't happy until they KNOW I'm a size 0 (which I am xD but apparently it doesn't matter IF THEY DUN HAVE A NUMBER, as if it should EVEN matter how thin I am -_- ) and "aspiring Import Model" sounds better to them than "aspiring sports writer" (all of which are true xD) .. forget how I LOOK xD

They need to KNOW so they can can say "I'm dating a model" rather than "I'm dating a girl who just looks like a model" xD I mean if they say "I'm dating a girl who wants ot be a sports writer" who KNOWS what their friends wlll imagine right!? xD

It WOULD prolly be hilarious if these guys tried to date me or honestly ANY of my female friends, since the questions we'd ask to get to know them would have them scrambling for their PUA guides xD Quick, does liking D&D make me an alpha cuz I'm a geek and potentially rich, or a beta cuz I'm not likely to be a jock!? XD (Roissy btw is some PUA online guru who they worship, being the alpha males that they are xD)

(the sad truth is when I meet Pick Up Artists, they ALL think that me being Asian is like me being a model or something, something interesting to ask me about INCESSENTLY, except y'know, I know I'm Asian, I kinda guessed a while ago xD And um... CREEPY, not interesting xD)

Okay that was long xD Insecure guys who overthink dating (and UNDERestimate women's intelligence) FAR too much... well.. I feel sad for them :( but some of the theories they come up w/ are pretty amusing xD

Note to guys: pay attn this is how women REALLY think, and by women, I mean ALL WOMEN, for we are a HIVE MIND (oops let out the feminist sekrit... >_>;; RELEASE THE GAS! xDDD ) and me and Zhinxy are super hotties (esp Zhinxy she's a 10++++ w/ fire resistance) :D

[21:25] Ami Angelwings: i dun like the ppl who say "honestly us women don't want "alpha"s they're jerks/stuck up/blah blah... or etc"
[21:26] Ami Angelwings: stop playing into their world
[21:26] Ami Angelwings: they're not right
[21:26] Zhinxy: I KNOW
[21:26] Ami Angelwings: IN ANY WAY
[21:26] Zhinxy: I agree
[21:26] Zhinxy: even if you mean I don't like the stereotypical jock
[21:26] Zhinxy: that's not even all they mean
[21:26] Zhinxy: when they say alpha
[21:26] Zhinxy: it's amorphous and bizarre
[21:26] Ami Angelwings: they can't even keep TRACK of what's an alpha
[21:26] Zhinxy: don't play that game
[21:26] Zhinxy: YUP
[21:26] Ami Angelwings: is an owner of a team an alpha
[21:26] Ami Angelwings: or the buff players?
[21:27] Ami Angelwings: do players become less alpha once they retire?
[21:27] Zhinxy: srsly
[21:27] Ami Angelwings: why do many athletes tend to stay with the same wife and family
[21:27] Zhinxy: A lot of retired football players are just really tall old dudes with a spare tire and a lawn
[21:27] Ami Angelwings: do they lose alphaness and can't get young chicks?
[21:28] Ami Angelwings: also given that a regular guy can get a 8-10 girl
[21:28] Ami Angelwings: is there a different scale for celebs/athletes/rich ppl
[21:28] Ami Angelwings: or does it peak out at 10? o_O
[21:29] Zhinxy: And not every rich or whatever guy you see is married to an 8-10 either
[21:29] Ami Angelwings: NO
[21:29] Ami Angelwings: srsly
[21:29] Ami Angelwings: cuz i'm pretty sure that being an all star has more status
[21:29] Ami Angelwings: than just being a regular player
[21:29] Ami Angelwings: which has more status than not being a player at all
[21:29] Zhinxy: srsly
[21:29] Zhinxy: And agian, you don't have your pick of all women. You have your pick of women willing to marry for money.
[21:29] Zhinxy: you get the prettiest of THOSE
[21:29] Zhinxy: (assuming the most mercenary)
[21:29] Ami Angelwings: i was talking w/ trish about somehow the fact that SOME women want money thru marriage (golddiggers)
[21:30] Zhinxy: Yes
[21:30] Zhinxy: and yes, we admit this
[21:30] Ami Angelwings: has distilled itself into attraction to money is genetic for women
[21:30] Ami Angelwings: like the guys saying
[21:30] Ami Angelwings: well is it rape if a guy lied about being rich to get a girl at a club
[21:30] Zhinxy: Nope. But it is if he claimed to be her boyfriend.
[21:30] Ami Angelwings: honestly it's prolly hard to prove in a court of law that she wouldn't have f-ed him if he didn't lie
[21:30] Ami Angelwings: AND i doubt she'd go that far
[21:30] Ami Angelwings: CUZ
[21:30] Ami Angelwings: WHO THE FUCK HAS A ONE NIGHT STAND
[21:31] Ami Angelwings: JUST CUZ A GUY CLAIMS TO BE RICH?
[21:31] Zhinxy: YUP
[21:31] Zhinxy: SRSLY
[21:31] Ami Angelwings: it's not like we GET MONEY FROM IT
[21:31] Zhinxy: SERIOUSLY
[21:31] Ami Angelwings: honestly it seems like it's guys who care more
[21:31] Ami Angelwings: "dude i fucked a model"
[21:31] Ami Angelwings: a lot of guys, esp these MRAs don't seem to care about LOOKS as much as like
[21:31] Zhinxy: and roissy's cult
[21:31] Ami Angelwings: if a girl says she's a model regardless of how she looks
[21:32] Zhinxy: A MODEL
[21:32] Zhinxy: I HAD SEX WITH A MODEL
[21:32] Ami Angelwings: she could be a sears model >_> or a sears model when she's 7
[21:32] Ami Angelwings: and it's MODEL
[21:32] Zhinxy: yup
[21:32] Ami Angelwings: i mean it's different for picking a boyfriend/fiance/husband
[21:32] Ami Angelwings: cuz then if you're money hungry you would at least get some money
[21:32] Ami Angelwings: but one night stand?
[21:33] Ami Angelwings: i think men THINK it helps
[21:33] Ami Angelwings: more than it helps
[21:33] Zhinxy: YES
[21:33] Zhinxy: exactly
[21:34] Ami Angelwings: some men over analyze everything xD
[21:34] Ami Angelwings: "what do you do" is a typical opener to get to know the person and hopefully have them talk about themselves
[21:34] Ami Angelwings: it's not to fucking find out how much you make xD
[21:34] Zhinxy: no no
[21:34] Zhinxy: it's a shit test
[21:34] Zhinxy: these guys are obsessed with women constantly testing them
[21:34] Ami Angelwings: where do you live is a question to learn about you, not to measure your wealth based on your neighbourhood
[21:34] Talkstorie: lies
[21:35] Ami Angelwings: i find those questions boring honestly
[21:35] Talkstorie: we are selecting for alpha!
[21:35] Talkstorie: I know
[21:35] Ami Angelwings: and PUAs on a date with me
[21:35] Ami Angelwings: would be txting roissy in the washroom for help
[21:35] Zhinxy: yup
[21:35] Zhinxy: what does this mean?
[21:36] Zhinxy: Yus!
[21:37] Ami Angelwings: does football make me a jock, or a hanger on cuz i don't play!? should i say soccer to come off as cultured? but then it might make me gay! what's the alpha male response!?
[21:37] Zhinxy: it's so bizarre
[21:38] Ami Angelwings: i have never ever put much thought in my responses to dating questions -_-;;; i mean a) why would i want somebody who likes somebody i'm not? b) i'm here to find somebody i like not win a game c) i'm pretty f-ing awesome :D

Monday, May 16, 2011

augh >:O I'm glad they arrested him, but ARGH >:O

Man charged in five sexual assaults on TTC vehicles


A Toronto man was charged with five counts of sexual assault, in cases dating back as far as last November.

All of the attacks took place on TTC vehicles in high-traffic areas or at busy times of day. Police describe the nature of the attacks as “groping,” said Det. Reg Wright.

I hope this is not the guy I stopped from assaulting a woman a few years back :( He ran off at the next stop and we didn't call the police or nething :( (tho if he kept doing it, then I hope it is him and they caught him >:O ) I suppose there's prolly lots of ppl doing this... -_-;; And this prolly happens more often than we want to believe :( What I hate is that rush hour provides them the opportunity b/c victims can't escape b/c NOBODY WILL MOVE and ppl who see it turn their heads >:O

So much for all that "never be alone", "don't go out at night", "watch what you wear" crap huh? -_-;; It's about opportunity, and about how likely they are to get away with it (which also puts to rest the lie about how rape/assault is about uncontrollable lust since if it was, the ppl doing it wouldn't be picking their spots >_>).

I was the person who decided to do something that time when I saw an older woman (so much for more stereotypes!) being assaulted by a guy who was touching her >:| We were crammed in like sardines. Many ppl sat around looking at their feet when they saw it, and nobody did ANYTHING.. so I started to shove ppl out of the way to let her escape then I blocked him off and stared him down and eventually off the subway (swearing at me) >:\

But this stuff also puts yet another hole in the lie that women aren't in danger JUST FOR BEING WOMEN, and not being alone at night in a tight dress is going to prevent sexual assault. Or being attractive, or any of that nonsense. These ppl were victims cuz they were FEMALE. Unless now we think women should not be using the subway to get to work either >:O

Also to ppl reading this blog, and I'm not implying that you DON'T alrdy do this, but please if you see somebody in trouble, or being assaulted on the subway, on a bus, on a streetcar or train.. DO SOMETHING... even if it's just alerting ppl, or hitting the emergency button, doing something HELPS, and it tends to encourage other ppl to do things too :)

It's the Bell Curve meets Maxim/Cosmopolitan >:O

Why are black women less physically attractive than other women?

This is one of the most disgusting things I've ever read >:O

Besides the bullshit that there's some sort of OBJECTIVE way to measure attractiveness (and the fact that they claim women are OBJECTIVELY more attractive than men, proves the lie, that they're measuring things based on the usual crap where they're not controlling or CARING about socialized ideas of what makes men and women attractive and the focus on female bodies over male ones in our society), or that ASKING ppl means that this is some hardwired OBJECTIVE thing (altho apparently asking BLACK women is subjective, as they say later). They also go into how INTELLIGENCE is hardwired in races too. Which makes this the Bell Curve meets some Pick Up Artist guide -_-;;;

I can't believe these ppl can actually bold facedly (and with a sample size that's clearly taken from North America, and therefore is all about NA ideas of what pretty means, and that thin is pretty and etc etc etc) use the word "OBJECTIVELY" when dealing with ATTRACTIVENESS WHICH IS ALL ABOUT THE EYE OF THE F-ING BEHOLDER -_-;;; And that our modern standards of NA white beauty doesn't even OLD when you go back even 30 years, or in OTHER CULTURES, much less stayed consistant around the world historically since our "primitive" days -_-;;; But this shoudln't be surprising cuz faux evo psychs do this ALL THE TIME.. I've heard ppl say that anorexia in women is natural and evolutionary (instead of a mental and emotional anxiety disorder that often manifests in women as control of size b/c of the messages that women get in society, and it tends to manifest in other ways in men, but it's not some SPECIAL THING reserved for women, and men are getting EDs more and more now TOO) b/c back in our "cave days" women needed to starve themselves to provide for children and men and that's why thin women were good. EXCEPT THAT IF YOU WERE NOT EATING AND THIN YOU WOULD TEND TO DIE AND NOT PASS ON YOUR GENES, or your kids would die cuz one of their caregivers had died or was too weak to do anything (the starvation response by our bodies btw would belie that anorexia is natural since it exists to STOP US from starving, and having experienced it first hand, it's pretty clear that if anorexia led to the survival of the species, the starvation response would have been selected out) plus y'know, being thin as attractive is a VERY recent development in our society. -_-;;;

But that's the problem with this faux/pop evo psych crap, they take nething in our CURRENT society, generally in specific cultures and nations, and then ASSUME that it's natural and then work backwards about how IT MUST HAVE BEEN SO AND WHY. That's the opposite of how science works. -_-;;

And when you combine it w/ racism and racist undertones... you get s- like this -_-;;;

Some choice quotes below. (i dun have the energy to take apart the whole thing atm, plus I think it speaks for itself -_-)

There are many biological and genetic differences between the races.

There are very FEW genetic differences between the races, and the differences are less than the differences INSIDE the "races" (race doesn't EVEN EXIST -_- the delineation of races by skin colour, or facial features, etc is a social construction)

What accounts for the markedly lower average level of physical attractiveness among black women? Black women are on average much heavier than nonblack women. The mean body-mass index (BMI) at Wave III is 28.5 among black women and 26.1 among nonblack women. (Black and nonblack men do not differ in BMI: 27.0 vs. 26.9.) However, this is not the reason black women are less physically attractive than nonblack women. Black women have lower average level of physical attractiveness net of BMI. Nor can the race difference in intelligence (and the positive association between intelligence and physical attractiveness) account for the race difference in physical attractiveness among women. Black women are still less physically attractive than nonblack women net of BMI and intelligence. Net of intelligence, black men are significantly more physically attractive than nonblack men.

Yup, not The Bell Curve at all -_-;;; Plus BMI is a TERRIBLE way to determine ANYTHING ESPECIALLY what a person looks like -_-;;

And the mutation loads significantly decrease physical attractiveness (because physical attractiveness is a measure of genetic and developmental health). But since both black women and black men have higher mutation loads, it cannot explain why only black women are less physically attractive, while black men are, if anything, more attractive.

Honestly, how can they say this s- with a straight face? -_-;; As if attractiveness is objective and also that this study does not have SERIOUS FLAWS with it -_-;; Also (what we consider attractive in our society has little to do with the measure of genetic and developmental health, esp since it's FLUCTUATED AND CHANGED so often, and even WITHIN OUR SOCIETY there's ALL SORTS of different ideas of attractiveness).

The only thing I can think of that might potentially explain the lower average level of physical attractiveness among black women is testosterone. Africans on average have higher levels of testosterone than other races, and testosterone, being an androgen (male hormone), affects the physical attractiveness of men and women differently. Men with higher levels of testosterone have more masculine features and are therefore more physically attractive. In contrast, women with higher levels of testosterone also have more masculine features and are therefore less physically attractive. The race differences in the level of testosterone can therefore potentially explain why black women are less physically attractive than women of other races, while (net of intelligence) black men are more physically attractive than men of other races.

I actually wonder if these ppl actually did any research about this or if they're saying stuff that makes sense to them and proves the results they want to believe in -_-;;

It is very interesting to note that, even though black women are objectively less physically attractive than other women, black women (and men) subjectively consider themselves to be far more physically attractive than others. In Wave III, Add Health asks its respondents to rate their own physical attractiveness subjectively on the following four-point scale: 1 = not at all, 2 = slightly, 3 = moderately, 4 = very. As you can see in the following graphs, both black women and black men rate themselves to be far more physically attractive than individuals of other races.

I LOVE that they claim that there is some sort of OBJECTIVE way to measure physical attractiveness outside of OPINIONS, and that black women's OPINIONS are SUBJECTIVE -_-;; This reminds me of the same sort of BS that ppl use on marginalized groups, that b/c THEY don't see a problem it means OBJECTIVELY THERE IS NONE, and the other groups are just biased -_-;;; Or that only cis ppl can be objective about what should be done w/ trans ppl in our society b/c trans ppl are BIASED -_-;;

FFS... this is so ridic -_-;; And racist, and DISGUSTING >_<;;; If you're a racist asshat and you dislike black women, fine, you're racist, how about you just admit it instead of hiding behind pseudo science to claim that "THIS IS JUST THE OBJECTIVE TRUTH!" -_- (also ignoring what this might imply about privilege, and attractiveness standards and socialization in our society -_-;;;)

edit: Apparently Psychology Today took the article down -_-;;; And apparently w/o comment -_-;; Brave.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

The Justice Avengers of Cat Doom (Ami, Trish and Zhinxy) snarkle (tackle and snark) a "rape prevention tips" list! :D

For fun, me, Trish and Zhinxy have decided to do a MST version of snarking at this list which I had pointed out earlier in this post (before it got eaten by blogger, but it is back now :) )

It's just for fun, cuz there's SO MUCH WRONG with this "rape prevention" list that we just had to deal w/ it -_-;; So here it is for your viewing pleasure :D The ATZ mockery of doom part 1 (we weren't able to get thru the whole thing before ppl started to tire, so we will do this in parts :D besides, it'd be LONG otherwise... so here's part 1) :D

Ami Angelwrestlinggeekydatingfeministwings :D

This is both funny and also a bit annoying xD Funny, cuz a lot of those wrestling slogans work pretty well as TERRIBLE pick up lines xD Annoying b/c this is part of a series of videos where they try to "get her number" using challenges, which is nice and all, but I'm getting a little tired of women being seen as "points" for men to get. -_-;;

Tho I suspect A LOT of those numbers are fake xD I've given out so many fake numbers and names to random ppl (and creepoids) who just hit me up on the street >_>;; I mean it's all fun and games, but it's also SCARY cuz you never know which ones might go further (I've had one guy literally STALK me and follow me when I showed no interest) or try to get physical (grabbing your arm, etc) -_-;; And you dunno who might be and not, so in general, I think the strategy a lot of ppl use is just to nod and smile and give them a fake phone number and leave >_>;; Or get THEIR phone number (I do this a lot, if I FEEL like calling them I'll call them). I find the ACTUAL decent guys understand why I do this and gladly give me their number, knowing that it'll make me feel safer to call them :) Sometimes they even say that, so I know they get my fears :) (it could still be mind games, but it's WAY more attractive than like... being pushy) And it's rly stressy and sometimes frightening when a guy just wun take no for an answer, or obvious attempts to say "I'm busy". I mean it depends on our judgement of the situation right? But sometimes you dun feel safe being assertive cuz you're alone, or etc... so you try to be nice and say you're busy. And sometimes you just have to give out the fake # -_-;;;

I know that there's a lot of guys who think this is a BLESSING and they'd LOVE for it to happen to them, but they dun understand how the reverse situation feels, for lots of reasons, including the differences in socialization between men and women (women are taught not to take space, not to take up time, etc and even if it's not true for ALL women, it is still there for many of us, and in general our voices are less taken srsly in societal interactions), and the drilling into our heads of being in danger, that any guy can hurt us, and well... look... if men were approached by OTHER MEN hitting on them, who were about their size or larger, and who were incredibly pushy and seemed violent, despite what some ppl may say online, I think irl, they'd try to disarm the situation, much like MOST PEOPLE who feel unsafe or uncomfortable when alone outside :) So it's not different for us :) (and yus I just gave a roundabout lesson on male privilege)

So that's the undercurrent of >_>;; I have of this... but, the video is still amusing if you're aware also of why it's a little uncomfortabling.. (tho it being sunny and stuff helps :D I WONDER also how much the GUYS themselves felt that they are less likely to be frightening women b/c of the stereotypes of Asian men in society? ) which is the thing :)

I know what I'd do! :D I'd play along, buy some pops from a local stand and take him to a grassy area, then say I'd love to date him, if he'd have a drink w/ me.. then we'd toast, I'd give him the double finger salute suddenly and "kick" him in the stomach and go for a stunner! xD If he GOT THE CLUE he'd sell it, I'd do the Austin salute to him again and walk off and he'd have a great little video xD If he DIDN'T then I wouldn't want to date him neways cuz he's CLEARLY not enuf of a geek for me xDDD (and yus, I would ABSOLUTELY love being flirted w/ using wrestling slogans xD)

And that's your Ami feminist/wrestling geek moment of the day! (I'm like Sesame Street, entertaining, fun loving AND education and serious all in one! :D )

Now this gives me an idea xD I should have like a bachelorette show... except I'd have guys be representing different geekdoms: comics, video games, wrestling, sci fi/fantasy, etc.... and see which one brings their genre glory and is worthy of my love! :D


And then I'd date the most famous person in their genre >_>;;;



Friday, May 13, 2011

Ami's last Slutwalk solidarity post (I SWEAR)! xD on yelly older feminists and more rape myths :]

note: THIS GOT LONG Dx Cuz I basically had like 4 separate things to say that have been rly on my mind and it all came out in one post D: I hope it doesn't get too confusing -_-;;

Oh good the older feminists are yelling at us again xD

Re: SlutWalk protesters march through Boston, May 9

Unless the international slut walkers are willing to back their cause with united political muscle, their movement will be nothing more than a testament to the power and success of the soft porn/pop culture industries, who have spent the last two decades obliterating womanhood, and reducing real female sexuality and expression to that of one dimensional porn standards.

The world will be waiting to see if this is just another example of faux feminism, embracing faux sexuality, for faux power, or strongly committed women ready to take on the issues and see them through.

Kat Duffy, Mississauga

*sighs* The usual thing of "this isn't freedom, you're giving the patriarchy what it wants!" (as if being a feminist means angering men, rather than focusing on women -_-;; anti-oppression isn't a zero sum game, just like ppl getting rights doesn't mean others are losing them, pissing off the privileged group doesn't mean that you're helping the marginalized group... xD) PLUS not all activism has to be about lobbying the government (which honestly, a lot of the time isn't as useful as ppl think if you're not a giant corporation that they like to start with).

One of the common misconceptions about this march is that all women were doing were dressing in club clothes and strutting around. In the initial one, not many did actually (cuz it was COLD for one, as it warms up, Slut Walkers are wearing less, that and ppl think all women's summer clothes are slutty if they're attracted to us >:O ) but some DID, cuz well that's the point of it (i wasn't trying to say there's nething wrong w/ it, i was just saying it's a misconception that this march was all about clothing, it was all sorts of women and male allies, of different ages and different ways of dress marching together), but also there were SIGNS and chants, and SPEECHES. I heard some of the speeches over the radio, they were v good, and one of the male radio host actually did a 180 over his original stance after hearing it :)

There are 3 prongs of oppression: social messages/narratives/beliefs (tv shows, narratives media use in reporting, stuff adults tell children, etc), individual actions (slurs, hate crimes) and policy/institutions/gov (laws, court rulings, etc). Influencing the last one, not only is not the only way to do it, but it's also USELESS if you don't try to speak to PEOPLE and educate them about the reality of rape and date rape, and fight the narratives and beliefs in our society, and that's what this march was doing, and if it changed even 1 mind, that's something :)

And to go back into what Slut Walk IS about, and why rape is about power and control, even stranger rape, here's an illustrative situation (it's not an "example" and it's incredibly simplified b/c REAL humans are incredibly COMPLEX beings, but this is taking the strawman that men like to use about how men are just lustful creatures):

Let's say 2 separate guys rly rly are attracted to a woman and one goes up to her on the street and she says no and he leaves and later the other guy does and she says no and he hits her and forces her and rapes her.

What's the difference between the two? Both were lusting... did the 2nd one lust MORE? -_-;; NO. He wouldn't take no for an answer, and wouldn't accept her agency, he wanted to CONTROL her and exert HIS will and HIS desire. That's POWER AND CONTROL, NOT lust. And you CAN'T CONTROL for who will be attracted to you ANYWAYS, NOR WHY they want to exert their will (that was a simple watered down example to show that even if it IS starting with lust, the difference is NOT LUST). But it applies to ALL SORTS of things that we do not victim blame about.

For example, theft is not about lack of money. If it was every person who had a certain level of poverty would be a thief, and rich people would NEVER steal. If murder was about anger, it'd mean that there'd be some level of anger where everybody would murder, or that the difference between murderers and non murderers is just one was angrier than the other. This is the same. And again, I was using lust to play against a myth (that it's about lust), ppl rape for all sorts of reasons that dun involve lust (which again can't be controlled for, unless ppl think it's up to me to mindread who's an Asianphile and turn into a white person when they approach).

The thing is, ppl act like women's lives are totally and absolutely free compared to men, which is... well ridic, but it's part of it I think is b/c of this idea in our society that ppl are more different than they're the same, esp the genders -_-;;

There are lots of other assumptions that play into this too that I find talking to some of the more victim blamey guys I've met in my life (which is quite many unfortunately :\ ). For one, there's this idea that some guys have that women (and by that they mean the hot women they notice) must have GREAT lives! We're prancing down the street, getting male attention and manipulating ppl ALL OVER the place, and we know we're hot, have no insecurities and are fondling ourselves in the mirror every day and therefore, it's only FAIR that there's a downside right? Fire is weak to ice, Superman has kryptonite, etc right? So rape is the balancing point. >_<;; Honestly, the way I've heard so many victim blaming guys say it, it's like they thin it's "fair" >:O

"Well you can't expect to attract men and not have a few "crazies" right?"

And that's also where you get all the victim blaming retorts to slut walk of "WOMEN DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT WITH RIGHTS COME RESPONSIBILITIES" and all that... it's like with great power comes great responsibility... -_- Which is flawed in a billion ways.

Besides the obvious, that women are human beings too and we're generally just living our lives when you see us outside and think we're strutting for YOU, it's screwed up to believe that ppl who you perceive to have a good life DESERVE punishment, or that if somebody is doing something that might be FUN or beneficial, it's only just that there be a risk and we should be ok w/ that risk. That's like saying that we have no problem with roller coaster accidents b/c well.. them's the breaks right? So many of us DON'T have that much fun, and if you want to, then it's YOUR FAULT if you die, and you asked for it. Um no... last I checked we get angry at the theme park and work on making the rides safer. But honestly, sometimes it just feels like jealousy of guys who see The Hills on TV and think that every girl is having a great life simply b/c they're a girl (rather than b/c those girls are super stinking rich xD)

The other major assumption tho is that women AREN'T careful and aren't aware of danger and aren't reasonable about their safety. Well what's "reasonable"? I mean we, as ppl do take precautions all the time right? We lock our doors, we get vaccinated, we are wary of strangers, we wear seatbelts, etc etc etc... (but in situations that involve ppl there's also the OPPOSITE msg too, DON'T drink and drive, obey traffic laws, KIDNAPPING PPL IS WRONG, BREAKING AND ENTERING IS WRONG, etc)

And women do even MORE b/c our rape culture basically says it's all on us and "rapists gonna rape"... women have been taught since literally childhood, to grow up being SUPER CAUTIOUS at night, in darkness, alone, in parks, when getting out of the CAR... to be wary of strange men, to watch our drinks, always go out in pairs... Victim blamey ppl are IDIOTS if they think that women a) dun have this on our minds b) aren't being aware a LOT in these situations c) dun TALK about it, or aren't trying to watch out for each other... etc etc... b/c society has this f-ed up idea that they're not gonna target rapists and potential rapists w/ msgs and onus, we're ALREADY bending over backwards to the reality of date rape drugs, and date rapists (which are the real threat in the club scene scenario that ppl LOVE to use, NOT the gross stranger hiding in the alley -_- and the thing is CLOTHES HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH WHO A DATE RAPIST TARGETS OR IF YOUR DATE IS A RAPIST, LOGIC PEOPLE! >_< )

the comparison that ppl make of DANCING AROUND IN A BAD NEIGHBOURHOOD WAVING MONEY is RIDIC b/c it's so far off the mark... women going out aren't just NOT metaphorically doing that, by that metaphor, we've been constantly told to have our money split up in different bags so not a single one can be stolen, we take only small amounts at a time, and we have money taped to our ankles. -_-;; Does THAT sound reasonable to prevent theft, or do you think maybe just maybe the target should be on thieves?

And now it's even how we dress, and that if it's date rape it's our fault for picking the guy, or bad judgement or... LOOK FFS


Is it reasonable that the onus to prevent rape is on women, and on our telepathic abilities, and that we SHOULD live our lives boxed up in our homes, not trusting ppl, not getting married, or dating, or etc etc? Is that REASONABLE safety? NO. and ESPECIALLY when society doesn't seem interested in actually trying to prevent what makes RAPISTS rape? FUCK NO.

And I'll go back to it. If rapists rly are uncontrollable animals that can't help but rape and roam the street, then society has to ADAPT to that reality. IF THIS IS WHAT YOU REALLY BELIEVE. That any guy, ANY GUY who rapes or has the potential to be a rapist is just BROKEN, that his uncontrollable lust just makes him a literaly ANIMAL, then y'know, society ADAPTS. If things are different, they wouldn't be the same. And what do we do with animals? They dun get trials, they get PUT DOWN. We don't BLAME them, but we have to protect humans first. Is THIS what ppl want? B/c I DON'T BUY IT FOR A SECOND. -_-;; Rapists aren't animals, and men aren't unthinking lustbots.

The point is, women are living our lives like GUYS do and actually taking WAY MORE precautions and being WAY MORE scared and wary than they are. We're not just looking both ways before we cross the street, we're crossing at the cross walk and men think that's not enough... rather than going after drivers who run red lights, they're telling US that we should wait until there's ABSOLUTELY NO TRAFFIC ON THE ROAD to cross. -_-;; And it's not even an accurate comparison (I'm trying to be illustrative again xD) b/c traffic accidents can be an issue of carelessness, while RAPE IS NOT. Nobody ACCIDENTALLY rapes. -_-;;

Which btw, I want to clarify, NONE OF THE ABOVE is me saying that ANYBODY asks to be raped, or that the onus on rape is not ENTIRELY on the rapist. Cuz it F-ING IS. ABSOLUTELY, and if women are outside NAKED and passed out, that does not mean s- to whether you can rape her or not >:O My point is to put to rest the lie that women don't take ANY precautions as it is, or have NO idea of the danger we're in WITHOUT MEN TELLING US. -_- AND GUESS WHAT IT DOES NOT WORK! IT DOES NOT FUCKING WORK b/c ultimatley what guys are saying is "to prevent rape, cut out large portions of your life". And yeah that could work. If you never drive, your chances of being in a car accident is lower. If you never leave your house, your chances of being robbed is lower. If you never go on the internet, your chances of being e-scammed is virtually none. So... let's make everybody do that! FUCK LAWS AND GOING AFTER THE BAD GUYS!

Prison rape? Look dude, just don't go to jail! Why should WE have to fix male prison rape? Avoid jail!

Afraid your kids might be the victim of pedophilia? DON'T HAVE KIDS!

THIS is the attitude and the world that victim blamers like that police officer think we should live in... AND as I keep saying... it's ALL BASED On a fallacy TOO. Cuz rape is done by ALL SORTS OF PEOPLE, and statistically, by people you KNOW and TRUST or have AUTHORITY WAY MORE than some stranger waiting in the darkness and it has NOTHING TO DO WITH WHAT YOU WEAR, b/c even if you THINK it's about attraction, HOW CAN YOU CONTROL FOR WHAT PPL ARE ATTRACTED TO!?

As I said.. should I just stop being Asian!? -_-;;

It's so ridic stupid and ignorant and just... well... lazy... cuz screaming at the victims is easy. You can brush your hands off, go home, and ignore every rape you read b/c you can say "well she didn't prevent it". Dealing with the REAL PROBLEM, actually tackling the REALITY of rape? That's hard. And for a lot of ppl who have never had to really think about rape or REALLY acknowledge it as a reality in their lives, that's TOO hard, and they run to the cowardly excuse of "she asked for it".

Well you know what? Suck it up. Grow some courage. Fight rape culture.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Dear ppl who write "rape prevention tips" lists... you do NOT LIVE IN THE CRIMINAL MINDS UNIVERSE (these would work great there tho)

Talking about rape myths (since my last post inspired me to google for rape prevention tips) this list is CHOCK full of them It's not ALL bad in terms of safety, but so much of it is just WOW o_o And ppl think FEMINISTS are paranoid xD Also they rly treat women like children, w/ tips that sound like stuff our teachers told us in class. Never open the door to strangers! Also BOY DO THEY GET THE "most rape is by acquaintances" wrong xD They think it means a co-worker is a Criminal Minds stalker/rapist and will follow you home, carefully planning the time of their attack -_-;; (and AGAIN, ppl dun seem to get HOW MUCH stranger danger has alrdy been drilled into women all our lives, and how most women are alrdy super aware and conscious of danger around them at night when alone)

There's just SO many out there if you google for rape prevention tips -_-;; This one is so ridic I can't even snark it.. it snarks itself xD

Something I'm noticing about all these tips I'm finding: 1) they tend to be the SAME tips copy and pasted, safety tips for town websites are being copied from other sites (hence why I haven't linked to many, they get repetitive) 2) many seem to mouth the words of rape shelters (nobody asks to be raped, rape is by acquaintances) but their "advice" belies all that 3) they are obsessed with planned, violent, stranger rape in your car and home 4) many seem based on "theoretical" fears (i.e. what COULD rapists do to trick ppl?) or urban myths such as gangs throwing eggs to force cars to pull over, rapists using dolls in babyseats to get women to help, etc (all debunked by Snopes.com in the past)

And some of these tips are downright paranoid, like "don't put your name on your mailbox" or "never give your name out to businesses!" as if somebody KNOWING you're a woman means they'll follow you home, break in and rape you -_- Cuz we all know that rapists are Criminal Minds villains and they like to go through a lot of effort to rape SPECIFIC women they're attracted to -_-

Almost all of the tips have something in common: they think that rape is a crime of targeted lust and a rapist will follow you to the ends of the earth to get you, breaking into cars, setting traps, etc... -_-;; Rapists don't want to just rape, they want to rape YOU and they are trying to find a way to get you. (even stranger rapes are usually rapes of opportunity and impulse, not targeted and planned) And of course ALL of these tips assume a man can't be raped. Or a woman can't be a rapist. *sigh* >_<;; As I said, we fear the situation we perceive as most frightening and random and we want to believe that's the main threat and if we're smart we can avoid it and be safe (PLUS the whole "idea of stranger rape as an (often subconscious) means to modify women's behaviour" thing that also is an undercurrent of a lot of "watch out women!" warnings in our society) :\

As a panacea let's break out the sexual assault prevention tips that REALLY work list again :D

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

The kids aren't all right... they're AWESOME :D

The kids outside are summoning Pokemon. Loudly. xD (dun worry so far I'm ok.. I have a level 99 RinoaCat to protect me :D )

After a couple Charizards, an Ivysaur and a Squirtle, I had to look out to see what they were doing...

They're playing BADMINTON xD Every time one serves, they "summon" a Pokemon xD


Who says video games are bad for kids' creativity or making them couch potatos? :D (actually I've always believed that kids will always find a way to turn whatever fiction is in their lives into fun imaginary or creative activities or sports :D why should it change now that it's video games instead of TMNT or Speed Racer or Sherlock Holmes or Superman? :) )

Hmmm.. now they summoned Sonic :O Ruh roh! Quick! UP UP DOWN DOWN LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT B A B A START!


This brings a smile to my face :) (and does that makes this Badmonton? Badminmon? Pokeminton? Poketon? xD )

Hilarious transphobe doesn't even research his ammo against transitioning xD

Sex change of minor = 'criminal abuse'

(I wish they would stop referring to GRS/SRS as a "sex change operation" >_>)

I WOULD get mad, but I can't... I just want to mock him cuz he makes it too easy xD

An Australian judge has given the go-ahead for a ten-year-old boy to undergo a sex-change operation.

Matt Barber, vice president of Liberty Counsel Action, decides the ruling is a sad commentary on the state of affairs in today's culture. He also points out that the American Psychiatric Association still treats gender dysphoria, or gender-identity disorder, as a mental problem.

"Rather than taking this child and treating his disorder so that his gender identity can be aligned with his gender reality, we have these adults here really engaging in behavior that can only be described as criminal abuse," Barber laments.

He should keep reading that DSM cuz he'd find that that IS the treatment. xD He basically read "it's considered a disorder!" and then said "so they should get treatment for it!" Um... d000000d... that IS the treatment for it according to even those psychs xD (tho some are real stick in the muds about how long it should take >_>)

And thennnn....

And he argues that surgically changing the boy into a girl will not work "because we are, as scripture says, as God made us -- male and female. And man does not have the power to undo what God has done."

Then you have nothing to worry about! :D If we can't undo what God has done, then what are you concerned about! We can't do it if God doesn't want us to! So either you should wait for God to smite us down before hormones or GRS OR God is ok w/ it! xD (or God has nothing to do w/ it, but that's less fun >_>)

Srsly... so he says we physically CANNOT do it, but then acts like we can xD

And then blah blah blah the usual THEY'RE FORCING HER TO DO IT -_-;; Srsly why do ppl think this is a) EASY for parents to decide and b) something that parents do NOT cuz their child needs it and wants it but b/c.. y'know... FUN! xD

He looks so serious in that pic too... like a wrestler or something... I have trouble taking him srsly >_>;; (get it SRSly? BA DA BUM! xD )

Awful ad is awful

This excellent post is BANG ON and perfectly expresses my thoughts on that AWFUL AWFUL tequila commercial about a guy raping his twin brother's g/f

First off, before ppl say that's not rape the law would disagree with you (and I wonder how many of the guys saying that it's not a big deal and she prolly had great sex, etc would feel the same if somebody they slept w/ didn't tell them of having an STD... or the usual male fear of a girl lying about birth control... EVEN if they didn't get her pregnant or get an STD, somehow I suspect they would feel pretty violented even if the sex was GREAT.. and I only use those scenarios b/c men always shrug off rape scenarios b/c they think they can never be raped by women -_-)

But that's not the point... the thing is... what came to mind when I said this is a commercial showing rape? Prolly not that huh... well maybe cuz you know me xD but in general the word... rape..

"this perfectly expresses my thoughts on that f-ed up ad where a twin rapes his brother's g/f >:|"

That was my tweet about it but even as I wrote it I felt like "well that's a little extreme isn't it".

But it isn't and I know most ppl's gut response is well that's not rape: cuz we have an idea of what rape is and follwing that commercial esp with how sexy and beautiful and seducty she is in the ad, ppl imagine hot passionate sex and that's not rape. -_-

When you hear "this is the ad where he rapes her" you think of something awful and violent and this isn't that, so the instinctive reaction is "hey that's not rape". We dun seem to define consent and consensual sex by what consent IS, but by what's "not rape" and what's "rape" is this very narrow specific situation where the girl is screaming and crying and begging and the guy is violent. Not like this. Never like this. And that's why rape never happens in many ppl's minds. That's why we get so much victim blaming and shrugging off and ignoring of rape. Cuz otherwise rape is possible, closer to home and something that can happen to them or somebody they know. And there's no way to distance yourself from it and that distance is how you we have ads like this, b/c while I'm sure if you asked them the ppl behind the ad would say "rape is awful" rape is awful in the way being killed by a death star is awful. Theoretically it's bad... but it's as real to them as Star Wars. >_<;;

Sunday, May 08, 2011

Ami's Boston Slutwalk (w000 go Boston! :D ) Solidarity Post :)

Another slutwalk (go Boston! :D ) another round of victim blaming in comments -_-

What I always love is all these ppl saying rape is a horrible thing, but then go back into rape myths that DON'T HELP, and then go LALALALALLALA when women, rape victims, abuse victims, and ppl who work with rape survivors try to explain to them the truth. You can say that intellectually it seems like a horrible thing to you, but if you ACTUALLY THINK IT IS A HORRIBLE THING you would want it fixed right and to listen to ppl who have had this HORRIBLE THING happen to them? Nah, we can't have that. It's much easier to be in the safe comfort of your home behind your computer where you can believe slut shaming makes the world a better place! -_-;; It's a LOT harder to actually learn and eat your pride to break myths you've grown up w/ and the media (esp the entertainment media) informs us of, because THAT'S ultimately going to do a LOT more good (and a good PERIOD) towards actually fixing the problem of rape and rape culture in our society, rather than just going "I made fun of another girl for being a slut, I helped the world! It's her fault if she gets raped, she coulda avoided it.. LALALALLALA

f-ing &@Y$^*Q#Y^*$&#^

(Also I'd like to ask them how many women at Slutwalk do they think were raped during the march? >_> And if they say "well that's different! It's in daylight! And in public! And in a large group!" Then HMMMM... it's NOT about clothing and men who can't help themselves IS IT!? xD Seems like factors involving vulnerability and conditions to prevent getting CAUGHT are kinda important huh? -_- )

Neways so here's the comment I left them (which may have been eaten several times for being too long -_-;;)

So I presume every guy here saying that men can't help themselves is admitting their a rapist? Somehow I doubt any of the guys here think THEY can't control themselves. (and I think they CAN and DO :) ) It's always the "others". FFS do ppl rly think SO low of men? I don't. Anybody who's worked with rape survivors, with trauma therapy, or been to a rape survivor groups knows that the whole idea of rape being about clothing is a lie. The groups at highest risk of rape include children, the disabled, the elderly, trans ppl, queer ppl (and not by OTHER queer ppl either). Ppl are raped in the winter. Men are raped by straight men. Most rape happens to those who are VULNERABLE b/c rapists want power and control and attack ppl they think they can get away w/ (which is why the elderly and mentally ill/disabled are high targets). I was stalked and chased once in the WINTER w/ a long winter coat on. Should I have worn a giant garbage bag too? There's SO MANY stats about rape (age, location, size of victim, etc) that puts to rest all the myths that the most in danger are blonde white girls 18-25 who go out clubbing, it's amazing ppl still cling to them (note: stop watching Criminal Minds and SVU to create your reality from xD) It would do many ppl a world of good (AND society a world of good since we could ALWAYS use more volunteers) to work with survivors of rape, child abuse, etc and dispel some of the myths they believe, and hopefully also learn that there is a lot of good in the world, incl in men :) They are hardly the rabid animals some ppl here believe them to be.

Somehow I feel like it's gonna fall on closed minds, and they'll just go NO NO NO I'M JUST TRYING TO TELL THE TRUTH AND YOU FEMINISTS BLAH BLAH BLAH

It's so much EASIER that way for them, and also if rape is unpreventable on the RAPISTS' side, but completely on the victims, then they can't rly do nething to help right? It's the fault of the victim and they should have known better and blha blah blah, and they can just look at every story of rape and say oh that's too bad but it's her fault and it's neat and tidy.

Except that's not the reality we DO live in, and ppl who ARE at high risk of rape and also who HAVE been raped (and many straight men have too :\ ) have to live in THIS reality not THEIR fantasy, so we CAN'T prevent our rapes (it's also HILARIOUS that they think that children, women, disabled ppl, elderly, etc etc could EASILY prevent our rapes all the time but we just choose NOT to!? FFS if wearing a baggy shirt ACTUALLY DID STOP RAPE, PPL WOULD DO IT! This is not some ideological battle, this is about REAL F-ING LIFE!)

Recently my workplace (I'm currently working as a part of a trans advocacy/facilitation program :) ) had a training session about feminism and anti-oppression and we talked about rape in society and the way cultural messages and policy and individual action can work and influence each other to create the situation we have (nothing is in a vacuum, it's like ppl saying only KKK are racists or something, it's like an iceberg just b/c you see the tip doesn't mean that's ALL there is, there's a giant base of oppression underneath that helped form the tip you see).

For example, narratives in TV and fiction that rape is not really very serious, that it exists mostly as motivation for men to save women, or shows like CM and SVU which use the "rapists as fetishists/ppl w/ uncontrollable sexual urges", or news reporting mentioning how the victim was dressed, or even jokes men make to each other about prison rape, or "she asked for it" or etc... it ALL contributes to our culture and narratives we pick up in our society, what we "know" (like how we "know" that trans ppl are mentally ill, or we "know" that gay men are effeminate, or how some ppl "know" that Obama is an Islamic double agent... ppl are sure about it w/o having any proof about it, b/c this is the narrative they grew up w/ or accepted, or are around) and that in turn can influence POLICY (which is what my work is about :) ), such as the officer whose advice to women was "don't dress like a slut" to avoid rape, or the judge in Manitoba who gave a rapist a slap on the wrist cuz of how the woman was dressed, or the former judge and Liberal candidate in Wild Rose who didn't think a guy penetrating a sleeping girl with his finger was sexual assault, in all these cases these ppl are speaking from what they "know" but b/c they have authority, they can also influence policy. Like rape shield laws, before that, rape narratives in our society were DEFINITELY influencing policy, b/c we had laws where the victim's sexual history was seen as relevant b/c society at the time "knew" that rape couldn't happen to ppl who were sexually active.

So yus, that's a divergence, but I thought it was something useful to share :) Neways, my point is during this discussion, we talked about ANOTHER narrative of rape, and one that we do get a LOT in our society and our media and our culture (jokes, stories, etc) but kinda floats beneath the surface: rape as punishment. :\ It's most obvious in prison rape. The jokes we make about it, as if it's something we SHOULD expect in prison cuz it's part of the punishment and prison experience. If you watch shows like Criminal Minds, Law and Order SVU and Without a Trace you know that threatenign suspects w/ prison rape comes up quite a lot there. I've seen this "tactic" in other fiction too, like comics, or even irl where ppl joke in the comments hoping that ppl get raped in prison or wishing rape on terrorists, etc. It seems often we see rape as an okay way of punishing ppl, as long as they "deserve" it.

Which goes right back to rape as punishment on "bad women". It's like now that we don't actually have LAWS that restrict women, tie them to fathers or husbands, or control what we can wear or do, a lot of ppl who still WANT to control women or still think women SHOULD dress or act a certain way, to be "proper" and "good" have turned (subconsciously in a LOT of cases, this is the iceberg thing I was talking about) to the mafia "protection racket" scheme. I mean we've heard it so often... it's not ME who's the rapist, but it's a dangerous society, lots of rapey rapey men out there, if you dun wanna get raped, listen to me about how to dress and how to act, or y'know.. I can't protect you :\ Like it DOES sound a lot like the protection racket thign doesn't it? >_>;; It's a veiled threat, but they're not saying THEY'LL do it, they're just saying if you dun do something then something bad would happen.

Again, it's rape as punishment. And often despite what a lot of these asshat victim-blaming/rape apologia types say, I think the rly ARDENT ones, and the ones who seem to be leaning on us the scariest in these threads and comments (and there are many who rly just dunno better, it IS a big narrative in our society we ALL grow up w/ after all :( ) dun WANT rape to go away, b/c then the big scary punishment is gone., Then you can't tell women "look if you dun do this, then you'll be raped", cuz it's an easy way to threaten women and try to control women's behaviour while keeping your hands clean (metaphorically. I dun mean that they'll DO nething but that they're not putting THEMSELVES in the threat, just others) :\

And that's the thing. If you ACTUALLY HATE RAPE, if you ACTUALLY WANT TO HELP FIGHT RAPE, if you ACTUALLY WANT TO DO SOMETHING, then you have to actually have to be willing to accept what THIS WORLD is like, and why rape REALLY happens, and what's behind all the issues of rape and violence and who is being most targeted, and etc etc etc.. it's messy and scary and COMPLEX but it's NOT impossible and it's also TRUE, and it's REAL, and if you want to help fight rape in THIS world and not a fantasy world where clothing can protect rape, then you need to accept the realities of this world, and the first step in that is breaking down and breaking free of myths and narratives and what we "know" about rape and learning about what it IS :) You can want to fight a monster all you want, but if you're facing the wrong way, all your effort is for naught :\

As somebody in the comment said, society has been trying to control women's actions and clothing for CENTURIES claiming it would get rid of rape and rapists. -_-;; How about we try something DIFFERENT? :D