Ami's Safe Space Project

Note: For ppl who don't know: Cis = "not trans"

This is something that I hope will grow into something bigger, not for my own self-aggrandizement xD but b/c I think this is something rly important, and it's something rly important to me...

So first off, I have a new job :] I'm a consultant for various social services agencies (rape crisis centres, shelters, addiction services, etc etc) in my city, and I try to help them create trans-positive, intersectional, etc policies and update policies as well as suggest other things that could be done to improve the accessibility of their service :]

Right now I am working w/ a rape crisis agency, that was started by white women but is now being run (predominantly) by WoCs. One of the things that I've learned on my job already, is that a lot of our assumptions and what we "know" about social services and agencies, especially shelters and rape crisis centres, is... not always true.

For example, one of the truisms, is that there are no shelters for men... which isn't true (since I work w/ them), or rape crisis centres that serve men, and that men are not welcome in such places. There is also the presumption that most women's spaces are unfriendly to trans ppl and especially trans women. And while this CAN be true (Vancouver Rape Relief being a great example) it is not as a rule, true.

One of the things I learned is that what's written down on paper is sometimes worth as much as that paper. Often policy guides or by-laws are rarely updated to reflect changes in the organization, and might have problematic language (or policies) in them BUT the way they operate, and the "unwritten" guidelines they work on are COMPLETELY different and extremely inclusive and accommodating. For example, a centre that in the 80s was run by white woman, might now have a completely different leadership, and be very aware of anti-racist and intersectional issues, but that is not reflected in it's policy guide, which employees may not even be instructed to read anymore. Sometimes, literature may not highlight that they are trans or cis male inclusive, but they are. I mean these are things that are my job to advice on, but in some cases, in practice, they already have been implemented. :)

Which goes to my point... oftentimes, we "know" things on a very theoretical level. We google search, we read websites, we look at pamphlets, and we look at the name of an agency (it might have Woman in it, for instance), and from there we make an assessment. And that's not to say it's unfair in terms of the attitudes that might be behind the original wording, or the current wording (certainly ppl use google searches in internet arguments a lot to show that XYZ place is sexist or etc) but... it's also NOT THE POINT if we're talking about real actual victims who need real actual help. A place that helps trans ppl, or helps men, and does not treat them less than a cis woman, is a place that does those things and is doing good work, and it's irrelevant in THAT sense, what's on their brochures at this v moment. But the problem is a lot of people do not KNOW this, and b/c of what we "know" and the assumptions we have, I suspect a lot of ppl presume there are MUCH LESS resources out there for them than there are. :\

And it's totally reasonably that in a time of crisis, you don't want to take a risk of going to a possible unsafe place, or a place that will reject you. And you don't want to take your friend there either, and google searches may turn up very few results, or ones you can't trust, or worry about. :\

While I was talking w/ one of the workers at the crisis centre I was consulting w/ and talking to her about changing the brochures (this is a topic for another post), she said something that rly resonated w/ me... and even after I left the place, and my workday was over, I still couldn't get it out of my mind. She said that ultimately, brochures, websites, etc don't really help that much if people don't believe it, or don't read them (how often do we read brochures for rape crisis centres?) and the most effective way she's found to inform people is through

word of mouth.

Which makes so much sense. After all, word of mouth are ppl who have actually worked w/ those agencies, or who have actually been clients of theirs, or gotten help from them. If a person tells you that a place helps trans ppl or cis men too, that means more than if a brochure says "we believe anybody can be a victim of violence" right?

So this is my Project, and what I want to try to start, and I know I'm not a v big blogger and I'm going to try to pull in more ppl, but I want to start a "Safe Space Project".

I'm starting with cis and trans men, trans women and genderqueer ppl, for now because those are the groups that typically worry about how agencies will treat them, and the general stereotype is that there AREN'T agencies, esp related to abuse and rape that will help them. And I want to create a (hopefully comprehensive) list of agencies (wherever in the world you live that you know of some) that are supportive of these groups, regardless of if they have "woman" or "man" in the title. :] Because I want a resource where ppl can look at it and know that there IS support in their area and that they CAN go to these places. So I want ppl to submit agencies that they KNOW (whether thru working w/ them, working FOR them, going to them, having friends go to them, calling them up and asking comprehensively, etc) are supportive and accepting of trans women, trans men, genderqueer individuals and cis men.

Also, on a more pragmatic view. The more such an agency is known as a supportive one for trans ppl or cis men, the more they will have incentive to change their policies or tailor more specific support. :]

This btw, includes spaces JUST for men, because as I said, the assumption is there are none, and those are necessary to bring out awareness about too. AS WELL, for men's spaces, I want to be able to put in the list whether they are trans men friendly also, because there are many men's shelters that turn away trans men "for their own safety" and I think it is ALSO important to list shelters that do not do this, or have accommodations for trans men (separate rooms, etc). :]

I rly hope that this can take off, and that... it won't be 2 comments and end at that. I'm rly worried it will be :( And I understand a lot of ppl read my writing and think I'm a child, but this is serious, and I really do want to create this list, so ignore my writing, and let's try to put this list together :]

You can comment HERE, or you can email me at:

ami_angelwings at hotmail dot com

if you would prefer to be confidential :] Put the name of the agency, any website that they might have, and their location if you could.

Thank you in advance to any and all who participate :] I really hope we can... at least provide a resource for ppl who are experiencing trauma, and in pain, and who need help but are unsure and too scared of where to go and if such places will accept them, believe them, and not question them as survivors of violence. (I know when what happened to me happened, I refused to call any helpline my friends suggested out of fear that they would not understand or believe me as a trans survivor)

Thank you, again.

edit: The comments in NSWATM bring up a great point about some men being unable to use a shelter if they can't bring their children along with them. So if you know specifically that a shelter will allow this, and is understanding of these situations, please add that too with your recommendation! :D Thank you! (again)

Update! Yay! We have our first few entries! Remember, you can call and ask places in your area, or go there and talk to them. And if you've volunteered and know that they're inclusive, plz let me know too! :3


Canada

Toronto, ON:

Toronto Rape Crisis Centre Multicultural Women Against Rape - Sexual Violence Crisis Centre (accepting and inclusive of genderqueer individuals, trans people and cis men)

Women's College Hospital Trauma Therapy Program - Trauma Therapy Program (accepts genderqueer individuals, trans people
and cis men)


United States

National:

Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women (1-888-7HELPLINE (1-888-743-5754) ) - Domestic Abuse Helpline (helps cis men, will help find shelter accommodation, treatment of trans and GQ ppl unknown)

Chico, CA:

Catalyst Domestic Violence Services - DV Shelter and Services (Services accepts cis men, trans and genderqueer people, shelter accepts trans women and will put cis and trans men in a hotel)

Chicago, IL:

Emmaus Ministries - Christian Sex Worker support for cis men note: the website says they preach Christianity and seem to see sex work as something bad to get ppl to stop doing... this could be an unsafe place for some sex workers, and queer ppl... any more information about them would be helpful

Newport, RI:

Women's Resource Center - DV Shelter (accepts trans men and women, will put cis men up in a hotel and provide for their needs, treatment of genderqueer individuals unknown)

Washington, DC:

Washington Empowered Against Violence (WEAVE) - Legal services and support for victims of intimate partner violence (accepts cis men, trans and genderqueer people)

WEAVE (Formerly Women Empowered Against Violence, now Washington) provides legal services and other support for survivors of intimate partner violence. Though their original objectives and name focused on service provision to straight cis women, WEAVE has really embraced the idea that all people can face violence and have started specific initiatives to reach out to LGBTQ communities and to trans communities in particular.

Helping Individual Prostitutes Survive (HIPS) - Sex worker support (helps cis men, trans and genderqueer people)

HIPS serves female, male, trans and genderqueer people engaging in sex work in DC through a harm reduction model--no shaming, just support. Their full range of services, including support for sex workers who have experienced violence, can be seen on their website.

Washington State:

Eastside Domestic Violence Program - DV Crisis Centre and Shelter (accepts cis men and genderqueer individuals, treatment of trans people unknown)