Saturday, May 14, 2011

The Justice Avengers of Cat Doom (Ami, Trish and Zhinxy) snarkle (tackle and snark) a "rape prevention tips" list! :D

For fun, me, Trish and Zhinxy have decided to do a MST version of snarking at this list which I had pointed out earlier in this post (before it got eaten by blogger, but it is back now :) )

It's just for fun, cuz there's SO MUCH WRONG with this "rape prevention" list that we just had to deal w/ it -_-;; So here it is for your viewing pleasure :D The ATZ mockery of doom part 1 (we weren't able to get thru the whole thing before ppl started to tire, so we will do this in parts :D besides, it'd be LONG otherwise... so here's part 1) :D

[23:24] Ami:
AWARENESS TIPS: MAKE IT A HABIT Return to Womens Self Defense Center

Awareness can be a life-saver. It is very important to pay attention at all times to whatever is going on around you. It takes time to get used to being aware. Some people feel they are being paranoid when they first begin practicing awareness. However, with time it will develop into a natural habit.

[23:24] Ami: if you did all of these things and it became a natural habit
[23:25] Ami: i thinke ventually you would need therapy
[23:25] Zhinxy: be aware!
[23:25] Ami: ACT ONE
[23:26] Ami: Death Takes A Holid...
[23:26] Ami: no wait
[23:26] Ami: AWARENESS IN YOUR HOME
[23:26] Zhinxy: XD
[23:26] Ami: 1. List only initials and last name in the phone book, on mail boxes, doors, etc. If you live alone, list another name in addition to your own.
[23:26] Trish: But how do I PREVENT rape? Is it firearms, boards with nails in them, or kickboxing that will save me?
[23:26] Ami: all of the above
[23:26] Zhinxy: It's using your full first name
[23:26] Ami: practiced as much as possible
[23:26] Ami: xD
[23:26] Zhinxy: nobody can rape the initialed
[23:27] Ami: it's like
[23:27] Ami: fantasy
[23:27] Ami: to know a dragon's name
[23:27] Ami: IF HE KNOWS YOUR NAME HE CAN CONTROL YOU
[23:27] Trish: it's like how when you become a published author
[23:27] Ami: xDDD
[23:27] Trish: and you write under your initials so ppl think you're a man and read what you write
[23:27] Trish: >_>
[23:27] Zhinxy: Yes
[23:27] Zhinxy: only in this case, they don't rape you instead
[23:27] Trish: you know who goes by initials? WOMEN!
[23:27] Zhinxy: People go through bookstores all the time lookin gfor non initialed writer
[23:27] Zhinxy: s
[23:27] Zhinxy: to rape
[23:28] Ami: yeah
[23:28] Ami: Trish is right
[23:28] Ami: this is great advice
[23:28] Zhinxy: what if your name is Sean
[23:28] Ami: to sell more books as a female writer
[23:28] Ami: not to prevent rape
[23:28] Zhinxy: hahah yes
[23:28] Zhinxy: well, if you dress slutty at book launch parties
[23:28] Trish: ideally you should target romance writers
[23:28] Trish: since there a female name is no obstacle
[23:28] Trish: maybe we should write a "rapist's guide" based on this advice >>
[23:28] Zhinxy: And they're horny, look at the trash they write
[23:29] Ami: What if you're a guy named Jamie? I can just imagine it
[23:29] Ami: come home, there's a strange guy at the door
[23:29] Ami: oh you're a man
[23:29] Ami: sorry dude
[23:29] Zhinxy: sorry
[23:29] Zhinxy: moving on then
[23:29] Ami: we should
[23:29] Ami: write a rapist's guide
[23:29] Ami: i mean this would actually make MORE sense
[23:29] Ami: "check out the mailboxes"
[23:30] Trish: "be aware that women may disguise themselves behind initials in the phonebook"
[23:30] Zhinxy: no man uses his initials!
[23:30] Ami: "if there's a name you know she's a woman, and you can judge her hotness based on her names... like Brooke and Ashley!"
[23:30] Zhinxy: If she's amber or tonya or honey, she's totally a slut, too!
[23:31] Trish: "if only her initials are on the mailbox, she may be prepared for you. here's what you need in your kit to get in the house."
[23:31] Ami: avoid bertha!
[23:31] Ami: xDDDD
[23:31] Zhinxy: XD
[23:31] Ami: <3
[23:31] Ami: 2. THINK every time before you leave your name, address or phone number in public view or give out information regarding your daily routine.
[23:31] Ami: Again, great advice
[23:31] Ami: for avoiding identity theft
[23:31] Ami: not for avoiding rape
[23:31] Zhinxy: identity thieves like to rape you first
[23:31] Ami: xD
[23:31] Zhinxy: then go on a shopping spree
[23:31] Ami: it's like a handshake
[23:32] Zhinxy: some guys rape three women on their way from the food court to the second floor parking
[23:32] Ami: the thing with all of the rape myths and prevention stuff is
[23:32] Zhinxy: armed with signed reciepts
[23:32] Ami: it's like the pedophile stuff on TV
[23:32] Zhinxy: IS THIS YOUR RECIEPT MA'AM?
[23:32] Zhinxy: haahaahahah! *rapes*
[23:32] Zhinxy: so don't leave your signed reciepts behind
[23:32] Trish: O.O
[23:33] Ami: and all the kidnapping and like the without a trace episode where a guy lures an adopted kid from new york all the way to texas (it's a hilariously flimsy readon how a 8 year old kid managed to get to texas) just to rape him
[23:33] Zhinxy: We all remember the reign of terror from the Mastercard Statement Rapist
[23:33] Zhinxy: that's a long distance kidnaper
[23:33] Ami: the thing is.. like all the focus is on paranoid stuff that yes COULD happen and does occasionally happen but is pretty f-ing rare in the grand scheme
[23:33] Ami: you know...
[23:33] Ami: women and children are EVERYWHERE
[23:34] Zhinxy: but you don't know their full first name, now do you?
[23:34] Ami: thye act like they're trying to get a koala shipped to them or something
[23:34] Zhinxy: remember, you can't rape the initials
[23:34] Zhinxy: don't answer "here" during a roll call at school or work
[23:34] Ami: *laughs at your reciept rapist*
[23:34] Zhinxy: rapists may listen
[23:34] Zhinxy: ty
[23:35] Ami: like the whole "don't leave your name or they'll know you're a woman thing
[23:35] Ami: as if there's a shortage
[23:35] Zhinxy: it's the dystopian future
[23:35] Zhinxy: one of those slash fic ones
[23:35] Trish: "remember, don't get an education. your teacher may rape you, and if you gain employment out of it you may be raped at work"
[23:35] Ami: they might as well say that
[23:35] Ami: if you HAVE to go to school
[23:35] Zhinxy: and just basiclly don't leave your house or indicate in any way a woman is in there
[23:36] Ami: remember to sit in classes with both feet on the floor
[23:36] Ami: so you're balanced
[23:36] Zhinxy: if you hop, you get raped
[23:36] Ami: i think we got ahead of ourselves
[23:36] Trish: see, i think they're getting women confused with D&D dwarves
[23:36] Ami: xD
[23:36] Zhinxy: XD
[23:36] Ami: it's like what i always want to respond with
[23:36] Ami: when ppl talk abotu rapists
[23:36] Ami: "you're thinking of bears"
[23:36] Trish: *laughs*
[23:37] Ami: let's move on :D
[23:37] Ami: 3. When you go on vacation, let a friend know when you leave and when you plan to return so someone is aware if you are missing. Do not advertise by putting a note on your door telling your whereabouts and your planned return home. If you will be gone more than a week, put a stop on your newspaper delivery and have your mail held at the post office.
[23:37] Ami: Do not advertise by putting a note on your door telling your whereabouts and your planned return home.
[23:37] Ami: WHO DOES THAT!?
[23:38] Zhinxy: I Have NEVER SEEN THAT IN MY ENTIRE LIFE
[23:38] Trish: i... don't know. o.O
[23:38] Trish: is this what women are told to do in travel classes run by rapists?
[23:40] Ami: XD
[23:40] Ami: even if you DO do that
[23:40] Ami: i mean... so
[23:40] Ami: "Hi this is Denise, I'm gonna be in Jamaica for 2 weeks"
[23:40] Ami: and then the rapists all read it
[23:40] Ami: and back up for a trip?
[23:40] Zhinxy: mwahahahhahaahahha! I love raping women with tans!
[23:40] Ami: *pack up
[23:40] Ami: yeah i know!
[23:40] Zhinxy: they await your return!
[23:41] Zhinxy: well, people who come back from vacation
[23:41] Zhinxy: usually drive back home
[23:41] Ami: it's not rapists want to rape
[23:41] Zhinxy: with their family
[23:41] Ami: it's rapists want to rape YOU
[23:41] Zhinxy: and lotsa stuff
[23:41] Zhinxy: too
[23:41] Ami: this is the obsessive stalker type of rapist on tv
[23:41] Ami: -_-
[23:41] Ami: like forget having seen it
[23:41] Ami: i've never HEARD of it
[23:41] Zhinxy: EVER
[23:42] Ami: it's not even things we're told "other people do"
[23:42] Zhinxy: and if somebody did it in a crappy thriller or something you'd be like
[23:42] Zhinxy: WHO THE HELL DOES THAT
[23:42] Ami: YUS
[23:42] Ami: SRSLY!
[23:42] Trish: maybe they were running out of ideas?
[23:42] Ami: . If you will be gone more than a week, put a stop on your newspaper delivery and have your mail held at the post office.
[23:42] Zhinxy: most peopel do that anyway
[23:42] Ami: that's generally a tip for not having your house broken into
[23:42] Zhinxy: Yeah
[23:42] Ami: not about rape
[23:42] Zhinxy: srsly
[23:42] Ami: it's like they're gonna break in
[23:42] Ami: and just lounge around
[23:42] Zhinxy: well, all burglars might as well tack on rape if you're home
[23:43] Ami: waiting for you to return
[23:43] Trish: how are you going to be raped if you're not there anyway?
[23:43] Zhinxy: Yup
[23:43] Ami: WAIT YOU'RE NOT TANNED
[23:43] Zhinxy: Hey, I was just gonna take the tv but
[23:43] Ami: YOU'RE NOT EVEN A WOMAN
[23:43] Zhinxy: A WOMAN LIVES HERE
[23:43] Trish: shouldn't advice be the reverse?
[23:43] Trish: subscribe to a news paper and NEVER PICK IT UP
[23:43] Trish: don't mow your lawn
[23:43] Trish: leave a note on the door saying you're on vacation
[23:43] Zhinxy: Yeah, srsly
[23:43] Trish: then rapists will thinnk you're not home and leave you be
[23:43] Zhinxy: You might get your house broken into but
[23:43] Zhinxy: Yup
[23:43] Ami: xD
[23:44] Zhinxy: Yeah, this is good not getting your tv stolen advice
[23:44] Ami: it's also good
[23:44] Ami: cuz you'll have this super tall lawn
[23:44] Ami: and piles of newspapers
[23:44] Ami: like a wall
[23:44] Zhinxy: HAHHAHAHHA
[23:44] Zhinxy: I wanna get little pet sheep to mow my lawn someday
[23:44] Ami: why
[23:44] Zhinxy: they're adorable
[23:44] Ami: just so the eco rad fems will scream at you?
[23:44] Zhinxy: Yus!
[23:44] Zhinxy: omg
[23:44] Zhinxy: well, you might as well take care of them
[23:44] Zhinxy: it's that or euthanasia!
[23:46] Ami: 4. Use lights at all entrances, inside and out, and keep your garage well lit. Keep garage door shut and locked at all times.
5. Leave lights on in various parts of the house if you will be coming home after dark. Buy time devices that will activate lights, radios, etc.
[23:46] Ami: isn't it still a debate on whether lights are good or if they just help ppl break into your house?
[23:46] Ami: this is still burglery type of advice again
[23:46] Ami: are rapists scared of radios?
[23:46] Trish: i do wonder about that
[23:46] Trish: is this like that thing where rape is treated as "may as well"?
[23:46] Ami: yup
[23:47] Ami: since i'm here
[23:47] Ami: i might as well rape her
[23:47] Trish: yeh
[23:47] Ami: since her mail says Allison
[23:47] Zhinxy: Yup
[23:47] Zhinxy: might as well rape somebody today!
[23:47] Ami: 6. If you come home and think someone may have been inside (or may still be there) do not enter. Go to a neighbor’s house and call the police.
[23:47] Ami: and then your neighbour rapes you
[23:48] Trish: as was their plan
[23:48] Ami: this sounds like the type of thing we tell our kids at school
[23:48] Ami: at least i remember this being what i was told when i was like 6
[23:48] Ami: it's always interesting who we assume is safe
[23:48] Zhinxy: yes
[23:49] Ami: 7. Do not depend on your dog for more than an alarm if you have a prowler. They are often prepared to deal with dogs.
[23:49] Ami: they're prepared cuz of the rapist list
[23:49] Ami: that trish talked about
[23:49] Ami: the thing is, even for theft
[23:49] Zhinxy: Well, they also don't want a fight with a damn dog
[23:49] Zhinxy: that's why a dog is a good deterrant
[23:49] Ami: like if you've actually ever heard an ex thief talk
[23:49] Trish: how do they deal with dogs? do they keep a string of sausages handy?
[23:49] Ami: even theft is about convenience
[23:49] Zhinxy: just having a dobe drops robberies
[23:50] Ami: they don't want to rob EVERY HOUSE
[23:50] Ami: and MUST DO IT
[23:50] Ami: even if it means fighting off dogs
[23:50] Zhinxy: It doesn't matter if its a lazy snoring friendly one
[23:50] Zhinxy: they see you have one and keep walking
[23:50] Zhinxy: you know?
[23:50] Ami: yeah
[23:50] Trish: Obsessive Compulsive Robbery Disorder?
[23:50] Zhinxy: Oh, a doberman. He might be bluffing!
[23:50] Ami: cuz houses are EVERYWHERE
[23:50] Ami: like women and children
[23:50] Ami: this is the idea of "it's gonna be me"
[23:50] Ami: that ppl are out to get YOU
[23:50] Zhinxy: Yers
[23:50] Ami: and will circumvent every thing you put in their way
[23:50] Zhinxy: dogs!
[23:50] Zhinxy: I will take them down!
[23:51] Trish: dogsleepgas
[23:51] Ami: theif brand sausages xD
[23:51] Zhinxy: I heard once, btw and this stuck with me, that anybody who will come through your dog is probably gonna need a gun to stop.
[23:51] Ami: it's like in hitman
[23:51] Trish: that is probably true
[23:51] Ami: where you can inject your sedative
[23:51] Ami: into a sausage
[23:51] Ami: and feed it to the dog
[23:51] Trish: where you knock out the dog and steal its clothes?
[23:51] Ami: i'm not sure it works that way -_-
[23:51] Zhinxy: So, Yes, your dog won't stop everything, but what it WON'T stop is pretty serious buisness, youknow
[23:51] Ami: XD
[23:51] Ami: steal the collar
[23:52] Ami: and put it on
[23:52] Ami: in hitman that would wokr
[23:52] Ami: in hitman you can pretend to be a TEENAGER
[23:52] Trish: that would be the best game ever
[23:52] Ami: and somehow it works
[23:52] Ami: but you can't pretend to be a ninja
[23:52] Zhinxy: Yes
[23:52] Ami: cuz you're white
[23:52] Zhinxy: hahaha
[23:52] Ami: i'm serious
[23:52] Zhinxy: Yes
[23:52] Zhinxy: rofl
[23:52] Trish: o.O
[23:52] Ami: the ninja episode is the only one you can't use disguises
[23:52] Zhinxy: well, the thing is, if the world is as dangerous
[23:52] Zhinxy: as this whole thing makes out
[23:52] Trish: ad here i thought it would be because they can see you
[23:52] Trish: so they know you are not a ninja
[23:52] Zhinxy: the tips should be GET A FLAMETHROWER
[23:52] Zhinxy: IF YOU HEAR ANY SUSPICIOUS NOISES LET IT RIP
[23:52] Ami: that's the thing, it's all about "pretty serious"
[23:52] Zhinxy: Yeah.
[23:53] Ami: cuz it's the fear of the "psychopath"
[23:53] Zhinxy: Exactly
[23:53] Ami: fear of the worst scenario you can't stop
[23:53] Ami: and if you can't stop it it might as well be happening all the time
[23:53] Ami: 8. If you hear a prowler, turn on all outside lights and call the police. Alert your neighbors.
[23:53] Zhinxy: ROFL
[23:53] Ami: how do you alert your neighbours?
[23:53] Trish: activate the neighbourhood alert siren
[23:53] Ami: wouldn't that require going outside?
[23:53] Zhinxy: with a megaphone
[23:54] Trish: or the batsignal will do in a pinch
[23:54] Ami: HELP RAPIST ALERT
[23:54] Ami: RAPIST ALERT
[23:54] Ami: turn the everything is okay alarm off
[23:54] Zhinxy: Have a sign on your front lawn in case of the siren turn to am band 839 where you will broadcast the details from your panic room
[23:54] Ami: 9. Keep curtains closed and shades down at night.
[23:54] Ami: again... theft
[23:54] Ami: xD
[23:54] Trish: it reminds me of the big bang theory, and whatsisname. whenever he comes home and puts his keys in the door his mother yells out "are you a sex criminal?"
[23:54] Ami: watch out for your panic room tho
[23:54] Ami: keep it lockeed at all times
[23:54] Ami: and difficult to get into
[23:54] Zhinxy: HAHAHAH
[23:54] Zhinxy: and just kinda hide in there
[23:54] Ami: there might be rapists inside!
[23:55] Ami: that might be a better way
[23:55] Ami: to deter rapists trish
[23:55] Ami: than wha they're suggesting here
[23:55] Ami: you might as well just ask
[23:55] Ami: are you a rapist?
[23:55] Zhinxy: are YOU sure?
[23:55] Zhinxy: you MIGHT NOT KNOW YOU'RE A RAPIST
[23:55] Zhinxy: YOU MIGHT BE PROGRAMMED
[23:55] Zhinxy: THE MANCHURIAN RAPIST
[23:55] Ami: xD
[23:55] Ami: 10. Beware of casual acquaintances who visit unannounced. Many rapists know their victims and plan the time of the attack.
[23:55] Ami: talking about that
[23:55] Ami: i love how even when they're right
[23:55] Ami: they're SO WRONG
[23:56] Zhinxy: FRank?
[23:56] Ami: rather than the idea of rape being an act of power and convenience
[23:56] Ami: it's the idea that your coworker might be a criminal minds villain
[23:56] Zhinxy: Hey, I picked up some of your favorite and since I was in the neighborhood
[23:56] Zhinxy: I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND
[23:56] Ami: xD
[23:56] Zhinxy: *MACES HIM*
[23:56] Zhinxy: aaaaaakkkkk!
[23:56] Zhinxy: RAPIST!
[23:56] Zhinxy: RAAAAYPIST!
[23:56] Ami: that WOULD prevent acquaintance rape
[23:56] Zhinxy: very true
[23:56] Ami: after all you can't be acquaintance raped if you don't have acquaintances
[23:57] Zhinxy: my god, brilliant!
[23:57] Ami: it's just... it might happen if you were out or tgoether and then he started to force himself
[23:57] Ami: but not that he's following you home
[23:57] Ami: okay at 7:15 i'm gonna jump her at hte door
[23:58] Ami: 11. Ask for identification of all service personnel before opening the door. If you have not requested service, ask for the office phone number and name of dispatcher. First validate the phone number by checking it in the phone directory, then call the office to verify employment. If you have doubts, do not open the door.
[23:58] Ami: that's good advice in general
[23:58] Ami: for like theft and stuff too...
[23:58] Trish: don't you have to open the door to see if their ID is good?
[23:58] Ami: the idea of that being teh way rapists do it comes from TV where they extrapolated it from the stranger danger advice for theft
[23:58] Ami: yeah
[23:58] Ami: also
[23:58] Ami: it assumes that you're more likely to be raped by somebody pretending to be a police officer
[23:58] Ami: than an actual one
[23:59] Zhinxy: DON'T SAY ANYTHIGN BAD ABOUT THE POLICE!
[23:59] Zhinxy: COMMUNIST1
[23:59] Ami: wouldn't it make you a communist
[23:59] Ami: to SAY that?
[00:00] Ami: i mean about police states
[00:00] Ami: and the such
[00:00] Zhinxy: yus XD
[00:00] Ami: you would have to open the door
[00:00] Ami: i mean a lot of their advice seems ot be
[00:00] Ami: shut yourself in and be paranoid about ppl breaking in
[00:00] Ami: but it's okay to open the door
[00:00] Zhinxy: exactly
[00:00] Ami: or go out to warn your neighbours
[00:01] Ami: it's just like the rest of their advice tho
[00:01] Ami: fear the stranger, not the guy you know
[00:03] Ami: 12. Do not allow children to open the door.
[00:03] Zhinxy: um
[00:04] Zhinxy: oh , this is the rapists use kids as decoys urban legend, right
[00:04] Ami: (but they seem to thnk adult women are also children)
[00:04] Ami: yeah
[00:04] Ami: it might be
[00:04] Ami: or that rapists will charm children
[00:04] Ami: are they saying OUR children?
[00:04] Ami: or like kids outside the door
[00:04] Trish: when we aren't allowed to let children open the door
[00:04] Trish: is this from the inside or the outside?
[00:04] Zhinxy: I can't tell!
[00:04] Ami: it's so vague
[00:04] Zhinxy: srsly
[00:04] Ami: we can't tel what their logic process is
[00:05] Ami: do we HAVE children?
[00:05] Ami: this entire list seems to be about us being single
[00:05] Ami: 13. Do not leave extra house keys in obvious places like under door mats, in flower boxes, above the door, etc. Leave them with neighbors.
[00:05] Ami: i almost spit out wha ti was drinking
[00:05] Trish: which number on the list is "undergo FTM transition; by becoming a man you will no longer be a target for rape"
[00:05] Ami: the whole hiding house keys near your door has always been weird to me
[00:05] Zhinxy: ALL OF THIS IS FOR SO YOU DON'T GET ROBBED
[00:05] Trish: so... cut a hole in your neighbour and hide a key in there?
[00:06] Zhinxy: hHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
[00:06] Ami: but then having house keys be ANYWHERE accessible outside your house is something that my family has never done
[00:06] Ami: it IS
[00:06] Ami: that's gonna be in the next edition trish
[00:06] Ami: well
[00:06] Zhinxy: hollow them out and put control circuits in them. With an army of controlled slaves, you will be UNRAPABLE
[00:06] Ami: ppl equate theft with rape a lot
[00:06] Zhinxy: true
[00:07] Ami: the whole "RUNNING AROUND WITH YOUR CASH thing"
[00:07] Ami: xD
[00:07] Ami: what if your neighbour is a rapist?
[00:07] Zhinxy: not after the procedure!
[00:07] Ami: like presumably criminals live in homes too
[00:07] Ami: do they think they just come out of caves?
[00:07] Zhinxy: where is chastity belt?
[00:08] Ami: 14. Do not allow a stranger in the house to use the phone, regardless of the emergency. Offer to make the call for them.
[00:08] Ami: isn't that advice i got as a child?
[00:08] Zhinxy: Yeah
[00:08] Ami: it's not bad advice
[00:08] Ami: the truth is it DOES happen
[00:08] Ami: where they attakc you
[00:08] Ami: but usually it's tying you up\
[00:08] Ami: TO ROB YOU\
[00:08] Zhinxy: YUS
[00:08] Ami: expensive items aren't lying around everywhere
[00:08] Trish: or they call in their backup squad
[00:08] Ami: so ppl DO NEED TO BREAK IN
[00:08] Zhinxy: that's the thing, this is general safety or insanity
[00:09] Ami: the rapist's familiars?
[00:09] Ami: auxiliaries?
[00:09] Ami: the rapist street irregulars!
[00:09] Zhinxy: don't open the door to a mewling black cat, even if it looks lost
[00:09] Zhinxy: Your rapist might be a wizared
[00:09] Zhinxy: that may be one of his familiars
[00:09] Ami: or luna
[00:09] Ami: and you just lost your chance
[00:09] Ami: to be princess of the moon
[00:09] Zhinxy: XD
[00:10] Ami: 15. When you are at home alone, have telegrams and messages slipped under the door and have packages left outside. Do not open the door unless you know the delivery person.
[00:10] Ami: do ppl still get telegrams? o_O
[00:10] Zhinxy: people still get telegrams?
[00:10] Zhinxy: Stop. Raping. Stop.
[00:10] Ami: xD
[00:10] Zhinxy: Seriously stop. Stop.
[00:10] Zhinxy: I think western union sent the last telgram recently
[00:10] Ami: this is not a stop stop i meant for you to STOP stop RAPING ME stop okay that was actually a stop stop DAMIT
[00:11] Zhinxy: stop
[00:11] Ami: how about just use email and txt msg?
[00:11] Zhinxy: no mnz no k
[00:11] Ami: if you're expecting a package
[00:11] Ami: why would you need it left out?
[00:11] Ami: i mean if it's a surprise package
[00:11] Zhinxy: yes
[00:11] Ami: but it's not like the UPS driver or post man
[00:11] Trish: what if you need to sign for the package?
[00:11] Zhinxy: ups rapists!
[00:12] Zhinxy: no, if you sign things you get raped!
[00:12] Ami: if you need to sign and you dont'
[00:12] Ami: they take it ot the post office
[00:12] Ami: and you can go out and fetch it
[00:12] Ami: which is way safer!
[00:12] Ami: at least in this world it'd be dangerous as all F
[00:12] Ami: cuz rapists are waiting outside for you
[00:12] Ami: if you SIGN
[00:12] Ami: THEY SEE YOU VERIFY YOUR NAME
[00:12] Ami: YOUR SEXY SEXY SLUTTY NAME
[00:13] Ami: 16. Do not depend on a chain on your door. Use a peephole to check on visitors while keeping the door locked. Call through the door if necessary.
[00:13] Ami: i thought you kept telling us to open the door to talk to ppl
[00:13] Ami: look
[00:13] Trish: use a camera
[00:14] Ami: if you bothered to put a peephole in your door
[00:14] Trish: "just hold your badge up to the camera"
[00:14] Ami: presumably you are a person who alrdy does this
[00:14] Ami: and if you're still suspicious
[00:14] Ami: use the machine gun under the camera
[00:14] Ami: it's like the turrets in goldeneye

10 comments:

  1. [23:31] Zhinxy: identity thieves like to rape you first
    [23:31] Zhinxy: then go on a shopping spree
    [23:31] Ami: it's like a handshake

    Loved this bit ^_^

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  2. Rachel9:13 PM

    http://www.amptoons.com/blog/2009/09/15/sexual-assault-prevention-tips-guaranteed-to-work/

    This is the only list I know of that really works. :)

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  3. Yus! :D I listed those in the last post (about these tips) too! :D That's the REAL msg that should be sent about SA and rape >_<;;

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  4. I find both sets of prevention lists enormously condescending. My tips would include stuff like "research your local judges before voting for or against them" or just "Vote, PERIOD" instead (that might be too US-centric, as our turnout SUCKS). I might fall into the condescension trap too, but at least it might be original.

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  5. I dun think it's condescending, cuz it's meant as a response to these types of lists :) That if you were to lecture somebody about how to prevent date rape, it'd be on the perpetrator. I'm unsure what judges have to do w/ it (esp in Canada) considering this isn't about the judiciary (at that point it'd alrdy be too late), so it's not within the scope of what the original creator of the list meant (which was to highlight the ridiculosity and condescension of such lists) :)

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  6. Also I dun find the "rape prevention tips" lists condescending as much as bizarre and paranoid xD A few are pretty condescending (don't let children answer the door, hang up on obscene phone calls) but many are just BIZARRE and figuring out how they prevent rape is a hilarious mental exercise xD

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  7. summer_snow9:54 AM

    You guys are hilarious! I laughed so hard. I love a high-quality snarking, and can't wait for the next one.

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  8. Thx Summer! :D We're working on getting together (one of us in Australia :\ ) for a second installment! The REALLY WEIRD tips are coming up too!

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  9. summer_snow6:53 PM

    *Really* weird, huh? I've heard the one about not wearing your hair in a ponytail. And not wearing overalls (sexy, sexy overalls?). The sad part is, I got a whole list of these bullshit tips from police officers after I took a Rape Aggression Defense course from them. You'd think they really would know better, seeing as stopping crime is their job and everything.

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  10. oh, gods - i laughed and laughed and laughed!

    IME, the ONLY way for a person to avoid be raped is telepathy.
    i don't have telepathy [except with one sister, SOMETIMES, when we're teamed for spades.] so it's somehow *my* fault, for not being telepathic. even "reading body language" doesn't work - i knew a guy once, we ALL thought he was "weird" in that "creepy, might be a rapist" way. turns out, he was just realizing he was gay and was terrified that we'd find out that he was gay, and he was trying too hard to hide it [thanfully, once he realized that we DON'T CARE if someone is gay, or bi, or WHATEVER so long as any/everyone involved is A) capable of consent and B) DOES consent, he stopped being all weird and is now REALLY cool to be around. ahem, sorry :) ]


    i adore you Ami - i needed a laugh! now on to part 2!

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