Saturday, June 27, 2009

You flaunt your straightness every single fucking day.

This is a rant that's been building in me all week. >.<;;

Right now it's Pride week in Toronto and it's awesome fun and greatness :] Today was the Dyke March, yesterday was the first ever Toronto trans pride march and both were just awesome and great and rly fun to see ppl out and proud and everything :D

But what rly is bugging me is that of course all the complainy white straight cis ppl are out in droves in like letters and newspaper comments and stuff (well on neways, the other papers seem to be ignoring Pride mostly >.<) doing the usual "I don't care if you're gay just don't flaunt it" and "where's straight pride day?" and about gay rights in the workplace "nobody flaunts their sexuality, why should you be special" and that simply not hiding who we are in public or in the workplace is "flaunting" it.. and on and on and on...

And since all the comments are closed by the time I get to these articles, I'm gonna put my rant here:

Let me tell you about flaunting your sexuality and gender identity and straight pride day complainy straight people (to avoid confusion I'm going to pretend these are complainy male ppls, for female ones just reverse the gender but otherwise if I just use "or" or "girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife" the point might get a little diluted).

You flaunt your sexuality when you talk about how attractive you think a woman is.

You flaunt your sexuality when you put a picture of your girlfriend/wife on your desk at work.

You flaunt your sexuality when you put up posters of hot girls, or buy a "men's magazine".

You flaunt your sexuality when you hold your wife/girlfriend's hand, or kiss them or put your arm around them or they put their arm around you.

You flaunt your sexuality by saying "I'm buying flowers for my wife/girlfriend, what would be a good choice?" or any time you talk about them period.

You flaunt your sexuality when you marry your fiancee and announce it to ppl (or in jurisdictions without gay marriage, simply by GETTING/BEING married).

It's your straight pride march when ppl assume you're straight and ask a question without knowing nething about you about your wife/girlfriend or assume you're interested in women even if it's just "hey, check her out".

It's your straight pride march when media targetted at you assumes you're attracted to women.

You flaunt your cissexuality every time you show your ID and the gender marker matches your gender and you didn't need a doctor to "confirm" nething to get it changed.

You flaunt your cissexuality by going to the male washroom.

It's your cis pride march every time ppl assume and refer to you as a man or with male pronouns.

It's your cis pride march when you ask ppl to call you by a nickname or another name other than your EXACT birth name and they do it.

It's your straight cis pride DAY every fucking day that you go out and don't have to worry that either you have to NEVER mention and never show any sign that you're straight or you're cis or if you try to "Flaunt" it, you might face harrassment or violence or abuse or worse.

That's all I can think of for now (I'm still more in a celebratory mood than a ranty mood) but these are ALL THINGS that when *WE* do it, we're told we're "flaunting" our sexuality/gender identity and "pushing" it on ppl, and making a big deal and etc.. when these are ALL THINGS that straight cis ppl are PRIVILEGED to have as DEFAULT that a lot of them never even THINK OF or give a second thought to as "flaunting" or having it be "pride day" (i.e a day where you can be you and ppl assume correctly about your sexuality or gender identity and those things are catered to).

I mean the trans pride march is a time I can walk down the street and ppl KNOW I'm trans and that's FINE.. IN fact b/c I'm in the march ppl ASSUME I'M TRANS. I mean the whole "well don't push it on ppl".. so my options are either to hide stealth or be regarded as a "man in a dress" or "tranny" or "shemale" or risk being beaten up or worse? Going about and not having to worry about that and having everybody assume and know you're cis is stuff that cis ppl do ALL THE TIME. And if I do it for THIRTY MINUTES ONE DAY OF THE YEAR it's "flaunting it" and "pushing it" on ppl?!!?

Same with the washroom, or even medical treatment, or a billion other things I prolly didn't even mentioN! A billion little assumptions and privileges straight cis ppl get EVERY SINGLE DAY that they take for granted, that acknowledge and endorse and EMBRACE their gender identity and sexuality and queer and trans ppl can't get ONE DAY of that!?

When's straight pride day?

Every day is straight pride day.


  1. Yes. This. Just all of this.

  2. You're right. You're completely right. There's nothing else for me to ay but to pitch in with the others and agree because I think as many people as possible should stand up and agree with you and I wouldn't be doing the right thing if I didn't.

  3. Too right. the one about folks assuming you're straight is partculalry pertinent to me. I *hate* the process of coming out to new people. over and over and over and over again.

  4. thank you, i am so sick of straight cis privilege

  5. That's all so very true!

  6. The real eye-opener for me wasn't so much the list items themselves but the fact that I probably did 90-95%of the things on that list IN THE LAST 3 DAYS ALONE.

    You forgot one, though: The very fact that you can even GET married, let alone tell anyone about it, would qualify as a list item in many cases. Something I am reminded of as I go for my marriage license this week.

  7. Notintheface: I phrased it the way I did actually cuz a) gay marriage is legal in Canada and I didn't want to get into the whole "you can get married so everything is equal" thing and b) some of these ppl would say "sure you can get married but don't "flaunt" it and ppl ANNOUNCE that they're getting married to their opposite gender SO ALL THE TIME

    You're right that I didn't put that specifically, but I wanted to focus on the double standard and the less obvious social privilege that straight cis ppl enjoy regarding how free and open they can be every day about their sexual orientation and identity.

  8. Actually on second thought, you're right that in jurisdictions where gay marriage is not allowed, simply BEING married is letting ppl know you're straight. I've added that in. :)

  9. I agree with everything you just said. However, there are some parts I don't understand due to my ignorance on the matter. Could anyone tell me what "cis" means? I've never heard the term before. Thank you for writing this!