Ororo has put up some commercials that MTV made that depict "ordinary Americans" (and specifically in one a white suburban family) being rounded up to mimic what happened in the Holocaust with the message "The Holocaust happened to people like us"
I have nothing against the intent of this video which is obv to promote Holocaust awareness and presumably more compassion for others. I have nothing against the videos themselves, or nething. We absolutely need to raise awareness of ppl to care about the suffering of others. What bothers me is something bigger. :\
Why do we promote this idea, and try to use the technique of "you should care about others b/c those others are "like" you?" I understand why we try, that we feel ppl will feel sympathy for others if they feel that, well, they're like somebody that could be your neighbour, or your friend or something. And I GET that, but all this does is promote the idea that rly, suffering only matters if it can be relatable to you in some way, if somehow that suffering can be tied (in this case and often in this society) to white middle class Americans! :\
I mean we do it with EVERYTHING! With homosexuality "gay ppl are just like you, they want to get married, have kids, they're not all freaky effeminate guys or butch dykes", with people of colour "they speak like you, they act like you, they dress like you, they're not all [insert negative racial stereotype here], see care about them! they're just white ppl except with a different skin colour!", with even stuff like feminism with the "not all feminists are fat and ugly! I'm pretty and thin! See, so we're not all like that!" (I'm guilty of this :( ) and so on.
I mean, so... we shouldn't care about people who are different but NOT like us? Who aren't the same class as us? Who dun talk the same as us, act the same as us, who have completely different experiences than us? We shouldn't listen to them?
I mean so if the holocaust happened to people not "like us", then we shouldn't care? Cuz isn't that what happened?
SO is the solution to push the idea that "hay they were like you"? Or should we be trying to examine our own privilege and see that we need to try to understand, listen to, care about (not pity), and RESPECT others, even if they're NOTHING "like us"?
It reminds me of Law and Order SVU which I watch religiously. XD They had one episode that was their "aww let's be nice to transpeople episode" after many episodes previously where transwomen were deep voiced, "men in drag" sex workers, but yus, they decided to grant transpeople their awesome sympathy and pity with an episode where a suburban, middle class, white, pretty, passing transgirl is involved. They got a TON of stuff wrong, but that's not the point. And they had her get gangraped and possibly killed just to show "omg bad things can happen to transppl!" which also is not the point.
The point is that they showed a perfectly completely passing transgirl, white, pretty, and PLAYED BY A CISPERSON for their "transsexuals are just like us" episode. SEE, CARE ABOUT HER CUZ SHE'S JUST LIKE YOU! SHE LOOKS, TALKS AND ACTS JUST LIKE YOU.
Funny b/c she IS a cisperson.
But yet... in a LATER episode, they have another transsexual char, who shows up for a small bit (but isn't the focus of the show). She insists she's a woman but they insist on calling her by her male name and use male pronouns. She's tall. Her voice isn't "passing", she's BLACK, she doesn't "pass" in looks. She's a sex worker. They threaten her, they make fun of her, they use the words "he-she" and "tranny". She's played by an actual transsexual actress.
Respect for the white suburban passing pretty transgirl played by a cisperson.
None for the black poor non-passing tall transgirl played by a transperson.
Funny how when they wanted to talk about "acceptance" they chose a cisperson for the role. Funny how she was white. Funny how she was middle class, passing, pretty.
This just reinforces the idea that we should only respect transppl cuz they can be "like us", and if they're not "like us" well then too bad.
Do all transppl look like "men in drag" or "butch lesbian" stereotypes? No.
Do many transppl "pass"? Yus.
Do many transppl not "pass"? Do some not CARE about passing even? Yus.
There are transppl who try to fit a stereotypical gender role, who don't, who don't rly care about gender roles, there are genderqueer ppl, ppl who fit elsewhere in the gender spectrum or outside it, ppl who are intersexed, etc etc etc
Should any of that change the basic respect that should be afforded them? ABSO-F-ING-LUTELY NOT.
Should the fact that some transppl choose not to get bottom surgery matter in how we treat them? Or that some choose not to have traditional gender presentation? Should we only give respect to the ones who "pass" (or who try to "pass"), who get surgery, who wear suits and ties, or pretty pink dresses?
Should we only care about the ones with life stories, backgrounds and experiences that are "like" regular suburban white folk? Is that rly the only standard from which we should care about ppl? :(
There are SO MANY ppl in this world that have experiences that CANNOT be compared to "people like us". What about them?
I mean THIS is privilege! It says "you must be like me, you must somehow be able to show me how your experiences relate to MINE, for ME to GIVE A DAMN". And it leads to all this crap like white people telling people of colour that they have it fine b/c "well I got bullied at school, that's like facing racism, and I picked myself up and went on, stop complaining!" >.>;;
Or cisppl telling transppl to stop complaining, or even NOT to transition b/c "I don't like my nose, I'm not going to get a nose job, I learned to like myself, so why are you taking hormones? You just need to like yourself more!"
Or on and on and on!
The truth is a lot of ppl are not "like us" and they deserve the same respect, compassion (not pity) and consideration that people "like us" deserve! :]
People's suffering and experiences should not be invalid unless they can somehow be compared to or made relevant to the experiences of straight white middle class cisppl! B/c sometimes there's just NO WAY without trivializing the experience and watering it down to make it palatable to the privileged group. And srsly, why do we need to? Can't we care about people WITHOUT thinking "oh they're like us... now I feel bad". What if they're not? What if you'll never be able to find a comfortable analogue to their experiences? Then should we not care?
Is there RLY any way for me to explain to a cisperson what it's like for me to be trans? Should the onus even BE on me to, in order to get BASIC RESPECT? It's NOT a superficial thing. It's not some lust to be the other gender. They will NEVER not in a billion years, "get" how I feel, or "get" WHY, except by trusting me that I DO. It's not something I can sum up in a few lines and have cispeople go "AHH I get it". Or what it's like to have your basic SELF IDENTITY denied you? To have some people define a very basic very core part of me despite what I say? To have to jump thru the hoops of a heteronormative medical community just to get the right others take for granted, for me to live as me? So are my experiences invalid? Should nobody give a damn about what happens to me or the harrassment I've faced, or the fear I get when I use my voice in public unless I can somehow convince people that I'm "just like them"?
What if I didn't "pass"? Is it on me to try to change myself, go deep stealth, fit myself into some heteronormative box and hide who I am in order to get cispeople to care about me?
There's so much pressure on every minority group to "conform". To be "good". To not make waves, to try our best to be "normal" to "fit in". Sure white people, straight people, cispeople, will accept us! As long as we're trying to be "like them". And sure they'll feel bad for us, as long as we can remind them "hey it could be you too" or "hey we're just like you, you dun want us to suffer!"
But if we're not?
What if our experiences can't be compared? What if we don't want to be or just aren't "like" you?
We should care about the Holocaust not b/c it happened to people "like us" or even that it could happen to "us". We should care b/c it HAPPENED and it happened to PEOPLE. Why does it matter if they were "like us" or not, or even if it could "happen here"? So if they're not like us, and if it can't happen here, therefore we shouldn't give a damn?
Shouldn't we care about, listen to, try to understand (BY LISTENING) and respect all oppressed people, regardless of if they're "like us" or not? Shouldn't we care about all tragedies even if they happen to ppl who are NOTHING "like us"? Shouldn't we be open to learning about these experiences without feeling like we HAVE to be able to associate with the experience before it's even acceptable for us to care about?
I understand that ppl are taught to empathize and care more about stuff they can "relate" to and people who are "like" them, but rly, if all we do is play to that that feeling of entitlement, that things only matter if it can get their sympathy, or be put into a context they understand, or that the only ppl who matter are ppl who are "like them", where does that leave everybody else and everything else? How does that shape the way ppl see oppressed and marginalized groups?
If we promote the idea that similarites and "sameness" are so important in accepting others, doesn't that just perpetuate the problem? B/c there's ALWAYS going to be a group that's more different around the corner, and then THEY get the finger pointed at them and "HAY THEY'RE DIFFERENT GET THEM!" b/c we've been taught that basic respect is predicated on finding similarities in others. And so they shouldn't be cared about until we can find out how they are "like us"? It's a superficial solution. The problem isn't that we see them as being different, the problem is that we see differences as something that's bad.
Srsly... respect for others? Compassion for pain and suffering? It's something we should have for everybody, regardless of if they look "like us", act "like us", sound "like us", or are any way "like us" at all!
Whether we can relate to a group or their experiences shouldn't matter in us caring and being respectful to that group and those experiences. :)
I'm sry... this might not have made much sense b/c I'm SO TIRED right now... but this is something that's important to me. And I wanted to get it out. :) *collapses*
